


crashing into me (like waves on the coast)

by xxfluorescent



Category: Shefani
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:35:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 60,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23651689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxfluorescent/pseuds/xxfluorescent
Summary: Every time we talk, you move in closeI don't want you to stop, I don't want you to stop tonightWe got the last two glasses on a straw hut barTrying to remember what number we areString of white lights making your eyes shine tonight
Relationships: Blake Shelton/Gwen Stefani
Comments: 226
Kudos: 274





	1. Chapter 1

Her feet tangle in the soft brown sand, while beats of sweat roll off her back. She lets the sun kiss her skin while the sound of waves crashing on the shore carry her thoughts far away into the distance. The beach is wide and deserted, none of her co-workers are anywhere to be found. It could be too early for the men since they stayed up until four last night, doing God knows what downstairs at the bar. She made it until 2 am when she started missing the comfort of her hotel suite and Kingsize bed with floral pillows and expensive sheets.

When the Voice had informed her of this coaches retreat, she was hesitant, to say the least. Recently divorced, a life that needed so much healing it was exhausting, plus leaving her children for a full two weeks were no small ask.

It was the first year the show was willing to invest such money into getting the new set of coaches located in a fancy hotel in Cancún. It had felt ungrateful to pass up on the offer, especially after Adam had sent her a lengthy email to convince her of why she should come.

The sand continued to cover her feet and into the space between her toes. She grew up with the beach so close it was basically her backyard. The sea had a way of making her feel calm. An Earth’s creation so huge, it made all her problems feel small and insignificant.

She sits down at the edge of the coastline, staring out at the miles of unknown territory. She unlocks her phone and scrolls through her photo gallery, smiling at the pictures of her children in there. One is of Kingston holding a large stuffed animal he’d won at the fair (or at least, Gwen did and handed it over to her oldest proudly). The other one was of Zuma sticking out his tongue while his face was covered with melted chocolate. There were a bunch of pictures of Apollo there too. He was too young to make silly faces like her middle child and not yet active enough to create the wild moments Kingston did, but looking at her miracle baby trying to make her laugh while making funny noises is enough to get her teary-eyed. She just hopes all three of them come out of this crazy time with the least bit of damage.

That’s the one thing she blames her ex-husband for the most.

 _No_. She’s not gonna think about Gavin right now. She does enough of that when she’s back home. There’s a clear blue ocean laying at her feet, untainted brown sand surrounding her small body and the rumblings of open water carrying in the air around her. There’s too much good for her to focus on.

Hours could’ve gone by since she sat down and it honestly wouldn’t have surprised her. She thinks about what her kids could possibly be doing right now and she figures they’re probably driving her parents insane. She smiles at the thought while also feeling a rush of guilt for dropping them off at their house while she’s here.

She feels a sudden shadow blocking some of the sun and immediately feels a chill run up her arms. She slowly puts a hand over her eyes while her fingers press into her forehead. She’s blocked the sun enough to be able to look up to the sky and find Adam’s amused gaze taking her in.

“We looked all over for you in the hotel.” Adam says quickly. “Did you even sleep?”

“I came out here around nine, what time is it now?”

“It’s 1 pm.” Adam answers.

So she really _has_ been here for hours. Adam must sense she’s being hit with that realization because he mentions it precisely.

“You’ve been sitting here for hours. We’re having some drinks and snacks at the bar. Care to join us?”

“Drinks?” She asks. “Already?”

Adam smiles proudly, throwing his hands up. “We’re on vacation. There are no rules. Now get your ass up off the sand and hang with us. I think Blake’s convinced at this point that you went home early.”

“Blake noticed?”

She had barely spent any real time with Blake, aside from the brief interactions they shared on season seven. They had always hit it off well though and she couldn’t deny that before signing up for season nine, the thought of seeing the handsome cowboy again helped significantly with signing the new contract.

“Yeah.” Adam continues to babble on. “We all did.”

He holds his hand out and helps her to her feet quickly. She brushes off the sand on the back of her legs and thighs while following Adam up to the beach bar.

She ties the floral kimono snugly around her waist as she joins Adam, Pharrell, Carson and Blake. They all make approving noises upon her arrival and Gwen smiles at how easy it is for her colleagues to make her feel warm and welcome.

“What can we get you, Gwen?” Carson asks.

She can tell that even though they’re on vacation, he finds it hard to let go of his job as the host.

“Anything non-alcoholic will do.” She smiles.

She catches Blake and Adam’s disappointed stares and laughs.

“It’s barely noon.” She rebukes.

The two man share a laugh and don’t push it any further and the whole vibe feels nice. She’s glad she didn’t pass up on this opportunity to come with them to Mexico as she finally starts feeling a little less like the hurt and damaged Gwen and more like herself again.

There’s a little bit of space left between her and Adam but it doesn’t take long before Blake stands up with his cocktail in hand and sits down next to her.

“You enjoying yourself?” He asks softly, understanding wrapping around his features. “I know you’ve got a hell of a lot going on back home.”

She thanks Carson when he hands her a blood orange mojito.

She takes a sip while looking at Blake and nodding. “I’m having a good time so far. I try not to think too much about the situation back in California.”

“It’s too beautiful out here to think about anything ugly.”

Gwen bites into the straw a little too hard as she recognizes that reasoning.

“I came to a similar conclusion.” She replies, her hand trying to smooth out the straw from where her teeth had bitten down on it slightly too forceful.

“I always knew you and I were the smartest out of the bunch.” He says while winking at her and the sight of it makes her throat just the side of too dry.

There’s a light bead of sweat on his forehead and for some reason it makes her that much more aware of the handsome features of his face. His curls are untidily scattered on the top of his head but somehow it works. She realizes she’s never seen Blake in anything other than his jeans and button-ups before, but right now he’s wearing swim shorts and a tight t-shirt that won’t let him hide his more than good physique.

It must be the lack of affection she’s experienced in the last year that makes her body react to him in such an unusual way. Blake has always been attractive to her, but when did she start taking notice of him like _this_?

“Did you now?” She responds, remembering she still has to reply to his joke.

“Gotta say, winning from Adam and Carson is not that much of an achievement. Pharrell on the other hand? That’s something we can brag about.”

She takes a few seconds to look at him and takes in his happy face. It’s unclear to her if he’s pretending or if he’s actually this happy. She doesn’t want to ask him about his own state of mind too much because she knows from experience how much it sucks when you’re just trying to be okay and people won’t stop trying to dissect that. As if recently divorced people are forbidden from even having the littlest amount of fun.

“Don’t be mean.” She smiles, sipping on her drink and enjoying the way the sun heats up her back.

“I was sad to see you leave last night.” He says, his dimples prominent on his cheeks. “I get it though. Being the only girl when all of us get shitfaced…. I wouldn’t wanna stay either.”

“I’ve been in a rock band with all guys for years, Blake. I can handle myself around inebriate and out of control men.” She teases. “I was just so awfully tired, I couldn’t wait to crawl under the covers and finally get some undisturbed sleep.”

Blake nods. “I don’t blame you. How are the kids doing?”

She smiles at the question. Most of the time people ask her that, it’s because she just ended up telling the story of her divorce and they can’t believe there are actually three kids living through that as well. Sometimes it’s just a courtesy question that she’ll try to answer as shortly as possible, because she knows people really aren’t interested in her mom stories.

Blake’s interest seems completely genuine and proves him to be different in so many ways.

“They’re holding up pretty impressively.” She replies. “They’re doing so much better than I am most of the time, it makes me feel a little guilty sometimes. They’re strong kids, that’s for sure.”

“They must take after their mom.” Blake says, holding her gaze. “Don’t feel guilty for having shit days Gwen. It happens, we all have ‘em. Your kids are doing well because they have you and they know no matter what, that won’t change. Take it from someone whose parents divorced when he was around the same age as them.”

“You know exactly what to say, don’t you?” She half states, half asks. It’s not sarcastically put either, the cowboy really has a way of wording things perfectly.

He smiles at her again. “I’m not just telling you what I think you wanna hear. I think we both have had enough of lies and deception, right? I wouldn’t do that to ya.”

“Anyone ever tell you you’re really nice when you try to be?”

She bites back a smirk but it’s useless when he lets out his huge belly laugh. She tries to cover her mouth when she bursts into laughter too, but quickly lets the sound out freely. It feels too good to have real joy enter her soul again after so many dark months.

“Thank you.” Blake says, semi-serious when his laughter has died down. “It’s easy being nice to you.”

“I wish more people felt that way.” She responds under her breath, not realizing how bitter and angry the words had come out.

This was another side effect of divorce it seemed; the everlasting mood swings. One moment she was laughing her ass off, the next she felt deflated and angry.

“Kick ‘em to the curb.”

She crooks her brow, thinking that maybe she misunderstood his words.

“Huh?” She asks.

“Anyone who isn’t nice to you…kick ‘em to the curb. _Fast_.”

Another giggle escapes her, the way his words sound in his accent making it even funnier somehow.

“If I remember correctly, I did.”

Blake lifts his glass in the air and waits for her to clink hers against it.

“Let’s toast to that.”

“Kicking assholes to the curb?”

He connects their glasses soundly and smiles.

“To kicking assholes to the curb.”

Gwen finds it nearly impossible to keep her eyes off the handsome Oklahoman, even after she’s pulled aside by Carson and introduced to one of the show’s newest producers. Blake and Adam are in an animated discussion about something and Pharrell is making conversation with the bartender while he waits on his next concoction.

With everything going on, she still finds the time to look over at Blake, who continues to be oblivious to her random stares.

She gets another blood orange mojito, even though it’s technically not wrong to start drinking by now. She enjoys the way the non-alcoholic beverage tastes both sweet and slightly bitter as it slides down her throat easily and without the after burn of rum or scotch.

Much of the beach has cleared out by now which one might expect from a nearly private location. Tropical beach music can be heard from one of the distanced speakers and all the guys’ attention goes to a young woman that walks up to the bar. The woman couldn’t be in her thirties yet.

“Who wants to dance?” She asks, eyes and posture both flirtatious and Gwen finds herself almost a little envious of how easy it is for the girl.

Carson immediately points out Blake and Adam’s laugh can be heard from miles away.

“Dude, I’ll give you a hundred bucks if you dance with her.”

Blake’s about to flip him off, but the woman presents an even more interesting option.

“All of you guys can come.” She says cheerily, the heavy accent and soft timbre of her voice making it that much harder to keep your eyes off her. The way her bathing suits clings to her body and leaves enough open space on her chest for her boobs to _barely_ be contained doesn’t help either. “My friends and I are starting right now. Come.”

The girl starts pulling at Blake’s hand, trying to get him to move.

Adam must sense his hesitation and gets up quickly.

“We’ll all go.” He smiles.

Gwen knows for a fact she’ll sit this one out.

She watches as the guys, including Carson, make it down to the sandy beach. Gwen takes place at the bar on the middle stool, giving her first-class seats to what’s about to happen. Adam and Pharrell motion for her to join them, but Gwen shakes her head with a giggle.

She hasn’t been drinking at all so far and she’s convinced she needs to be at least a little bit liquored up before doing something like that.

Besides, the girl seems more interested in getting the guys to anticipate.

Is it weird how uncomfortable the girl’s interest in Blake makes her feel?

The music gets louder suddenly and it drowns out the rest of her thoughts.

Gwen’s eyes narrow when she takes in the image of Blake and the dancer girl together, her hands on both of his hips while hers sway suggestively. She doesn’t blame Blake for his wandering eyes in this moment but it doesn’t make it any less stingy.

She bites her lip when the girl turns herself around in his arms and presses her back against his chest. From the look on her face, she’s satisfied by the way Blake responds and Gwen tears her eyes away to look at Adam and Carson, who are both just as far gone with their dance partners.

Gwen turns around in her seat and orders another drink. Rum and coke this time.

She stares down at her phone. _3:45 pm_. Time has the tendency to fly by here and while she usually hates it, right now she’s not that mad at it.

She takes a few sips and turns back around, only to jump out of her skin the next second. Blake’s beaming down at her, keeping his hand outstretched to her.

“Come on.” He says.

She gives him her hand but remains confused.

“Why? What are we doing?”

“We’re gonna dance.”

Gwen chokes on her next breath, reaching for her drink in a panic. She takes a few large sips, causing Blake to chuckle.

“Easy…”, he smiles. “That’s the real stuff right there.”

“I know.” She murmurs. “I’m gonna need it.”

“To dance with me?” He asks.

“To dance with you like _that_.” She says, pointing to the woman who’s grinding up to Adam in the moment.

Blake chuckles again, lower this time.

“I’m afraid it’ll take you much more than a few sips before you’ll do something like that to me, darling.”

Afraid of what she might suggest if she tells him the truth, she stays quiet and lets him drag her out to the sand. The music is even louder from up here and Gwen stands a bit awkwardly in front of him.

She’s not the best dancer but she knows how to move to a beat. It’s different now she’s expected to do that in front of Blake though. Especially with her weird thoughts surrounding him lately.

“Can I?” He asks softly, his hands pointing at her hips.

She gulps and nods.

His hands feel solid and firm on her hips as he softly prompts her to move. He drops his eyes to her hips momentarily before looking up, his head tilting to one side and a hopeful smile playing on his lips. He’s only holding her, _leading_ her, but it feels like so much more.

The music quickly causes her body to live a life of its own and she starts moving a bit more boldly between his arms. He chuckles while trying to keep up and her hands move to his shoulders more confidently.

She leans into him, mouth against his ear. “Is this too much?”

He shakes his head and turns her around, her back pressed against his chest. It’s the same position he was in with the other girl minutes ago, only this time his arms sneak around her stomach.

He didn’t do that before with the younger woman.

She allows her head to rest against his chest, burning up from what it feels like to be so close to him. He moves them sensually to the beat and she drops her gaze when she accidently looks straight at Adam. She can tell he’s surprised to see his two close friends letting loose in such a brazen way, but she can hardly care when Blake’s hot breath hits her neck when he speaks.

“Who taught you to dance like this?”

She bites her lip. “Is twenty years on the road an acceptable answer?”

He hums in response. “I’ve been on the road a similar amount of time, but you don’t see me shaking my hips like this.”

She turns herself back around because the intimacy of their current position becomes too much. Her hands move to his hips and it’s to help guide but also to maintain just a little bit of space between their bodies.

“You need more practice.” Gwen smirks, teasing.

“You’re smart and sexy. Woah.”

She looks up at him and finds him beaming. Dancing with someone has never been this fun. And hot.

If she didn’t like him so much, she’d feel a little violated at the way he states at her. That’s how deeply the look in his eyes affects her. He looks like he would do anything for her in this moment. And the worst part, or the best, she’s not entirely sure, is that she feels the same way and doesn’t look away from his gaze at all.

“Okay, who’s up for another drink? I think we all deserve one.”

Carson’s voice interrupts the intense moment they were having and she inhales sharply. Blake’s hands leave her body and there’s an immediate disappointment there. She misses his touch. How horrible is that?

Blake smiles. “Thanks for the short but educational lesson, Gwen.”

She finds herself blushing at his words.

“I thought _she_ was the one teaching you.” Gwen smiles, nudging her head towards the young twenty something in the back.

“She tried.” He smirks playfully. “I guess I just needed more of an incentive.”

“Incentive to be better?”

“Be better, do better, all of it.”

Gwen hums. “I don’t know Blake. She’s a real good looking girl. If that’s not enough motivation for you, I don’t know what is.”

“And you’re freaking Gwen Stefani.” He lets a long silence follow. “I rest my case.”

She moves her arms around herself and smiles. It’s been so long since she felt desired by anyone, she doesn’t know how to deal with Blake’s kind words. She feels undeserving of the praise but doesn’t dislike hearing it either.

“I’m glad I could help.” She says, biting her lip again. Most people have already deserted the sand and went back up to the bar for drinks. Silence fills the air between them as they continue to stand there, just the two of them. “Wanna go and get wasted with our friends?”

Blake laughs.

“Are you coming with?”

Gwen nods. “I’m not bailing like last time.”

“Then sure, let’s go have some drinks.”


	2. Chapter 2

Gwen watches as Blake undoes the two top buttons of his shirt and she’s too tipsy to pretend like she isn’t staring when he catches her. He smiles widely and just continues on with his banter and drinking and that reaction in itself is a victory to Gwen. He didn’t tell her to get her shit together or to take it easy on the martinis. She has a feeling Blake is okay with her being a little messy and not so-subtle.

Tomorrow’s hangover will certainly be a bitch if she doesn’t quit it now, but even that proves to be too little of an incentive to stop pouring these drinks down her throat.

Adam shoots her a knowing smirk and nods.

“It’s okay to live a little.”

If there’s one thing she doesn’t need to hear right now it’s that. But she’s totally game for some selective reasoning…. her brain is half convinced on that not being a thing, but she figures this trip is for making new memories and in her case…new sayings.

“That’s exactly what I’m doing.” She answers her friend with a smile. This is not the person she is but it feels damn good to let go of the restrictions put on her by people who aren’t even here right now. She can be the fun, slightly irresponsible, light-hearted Gwen and no one will judge her for it.

“I saw you and Blake dancing together earlier by the way…” Adam smirks and wiggles his eyebrows. “Wanna tell me what that was all about?”

“We were following instructions!” She yelps innocently.

The sudden increased pitch of her voice shows just how busted she really feels.

Adam laughs. “Nah, you and him went off script on that one. I’ve known Blake for four years and I’ve never seen him move his hips like that for anyone.”

Gwen snorts and downs another drink.

“I know what you’re getting at and _absolutely_ not.”

Adam looks at her with a _whatever helps you sleep at night_ look and Gwen suddenly feels dizzy with the desire for this conversation to end. Subtlety has never been her middle name and she feels like an open book while Adam ruthlessly uncovers her crush on Blake. She doesn’t even think ‘crush’ is the right word. She’s merely enamoured by his charm, probably because she hasn’t been around it in so long. It’s no big deal and she really doesn’t need her friend to blow it out of proportion because of what he _thought_ he saw earlier.

He nudges her side teasingly. “Don’t get mad at me. I just observe things.”

“You observed wrong. Now can we please change the subject?”

Adam shows mercy on her and drops any further investigational questions he might’ve had in store for her.

She ends up in a game of twenty questions that ends up being won by no one, since everyone was either too drunk or too distracted to play. People slowly start to trickle back to their hotel rooms and Gwen’s pretty excited about heading back herself.

She knows for a fact that Adam and Blake can keep this going till daylight so she’s surprised when Blake announces he’s about to call it a night too.

“You want me to walk you to your room?” He asks and there’s no flirtation in his voice as he says it. He looks at her softly. “You’re tipsy and your room is quite far down the beach.” He adds.

His concern touches her and she smiles softly in return.

“You’re heading out too?” She asks, and it’s an attempt to stall the butterflies in her stomach because she already knows the answer.

“We kept it going till four last night. I don’t think I’ll be getting out of bed at all tomorrow if I don’t get some more hours of sleep this time.”

She grabs her purse from her bar stool and nods. “Are you sure you wanna walk with me all the way to my room? Yours is on the other side of the compound.”

She only knows this because she passed Adam and Blake’s adjacent rooms upon arrival and it took her about ten minutes from there to get to her assigned room.

“Positive.” He assures her.

They say goodbye to their friends and she ignores Adam’s pointed stare as he realizes his two friends are leaving together. She doesn’t know how this is gonna play out, but she might have to fill Blake in on Adam’s unprecedented thoughts about them.

Blake holds the door open for her and they walk alongside the concrete sidewalk that overlays the beach bar.

The ocean’s breeze is chilly and Gwen wraps both arms around her midsection. Blake notices and winces.

“Sorry, I should’ve brought a jacket or something. I woulda’ offered you mine.”

“It’s like 90 degrees out here during the day. I can’t exactly blame you for not bringing a jacket.” She smiles.

“Come here.” He says softly, spreading his arm out and waiting for her to get closer. She doesn’t even overthink it, just wants to get warmer and maybe also know what it’s like to be close to him. She presses herself against his side and exhales loudly when his arm wraps around her shoulders. Technically it might not make the most sense, but she does feel like the cold suddenly bothers her less like this.

“Better?” He asks as she relaxes against him.

She nods and listens to the faint sound of her heart beating in her ears. The sea sounds active in the dark distance as the waves crash against rocks.

She bites the inside of her cheek and nods. “Much better, thank you.”

“I’m glad you stayed tonight, Gwen.” Blake says. “It’s been good for me to be around friends, soak up some sun and not think about any of the shit I’ve been through. I think it might be good for you too.”

She smiles softly. “I’m glad I stayed too. This place really does have a way of making all the ugly things in your mind seem less important. I almost wish we didn’t have to leave at some point.”

“We still have almost two weeks.”

“Do we have anything planned I should know about?” She asks, as if she weren’t informed about the _lack_ of plans before she went along with this trip. The whole point was for the coaches to bond with each other and figure that out for themselves while being out here.

“Adam already spotted some club at the beachfront strip that he wants to check out later.” Blake chuckles, shaking his head. “I don’t know about that yet. I do know I want to check out the deep-sea fishing trip they sell at the beach store. Pharrell has been talking about renting a boat for a day and let an experienced captain takes us out on open water.”

“You guys actually came up with ideas that don’t all include drinking.” She teases.

“Oh no, all these ideas will include drinking. _Lots_ of it.”

Gwen shakes her head. “I really love you guys, you know that? It feels so good to just be here around friends and have no further obligations, but to have fun.”

Blake dramatically puts his free hand over his heart and cocks his head to the side.

“I’m sorry but all I’ve heard in that sentence is that you love me.” He smiles. “ _Me_? You didn’t even know I existed in the world a year ago.”

“And it only took me one season for me to love you, cowboy. You know I do. You’re like the funniest guy on the planet.”

Blake smiles and pulls her closer into his side. It doesn’t feel like they’re crossing a line because at the end of the day, they’re just two friends walking each other to their rooms. He’s keeping her warm and that’s all this is. What she makes it out to be in her head doesn’t matter.

Her eyes recognize her hotel door and Gwen squeezes her eyes shut for the inevitable goodbye that’s bound to follow.

“This is you, I believe.”

Gwen smiles sadly and looks down so he won’t see her disappointment. This walk felt much shorter than ten minutes and that’s something that just isn’t fair.

“It is.” She says softly. Her hand opens her purse and briefly looks around for her card key. She pulls it out and bites her lip. “I’ll see you tomorrow, I guess.”

Blake stands back, both hands sliding into his pockets. “See you tomorrow Gwen.”

She opens her door and takes one step inside before turning around and leaning against the doorframe. “Blake, thank you for walking me to my room.”

Blake’s smile makes his dimples pop as always and Gwen feels a weird sensation run through her at the sight.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.” She closes the door and flicks on the light, letting out a deep sigh. She doesn’t exactly understand what’s happening, but she _does_ know that it’s both electrifying and terrifying at the same time.

She groans loudly as she tosses and turns in the large hotel bed. Her eyes observe that it’s four am and she’s only been lying here for two hours, though it feels like a whole night has passed. She’s been restless ever since Blake walked her back to her room and couldn’t find sleep at all. It was nothing like last night, where her head had hit the pillow and she was out like a light.

Her phone buzzes on the nightstand and she rubs her temple softly. Who could possibly be texting her at this hour?

She reaches for her phone blindly and almost drops it on the bed. She catches it on time and lifts it up so she can read the incoming text.

_Can’t sleep. You? –B_

This is different. He’s never texted her before, all they’ve ever done is share some emails back and forth after it became clear that they both were going through very public, very similar divorces. They had exchanged numbers but up until now, neither one had used them.

_Still up too, I’m afraid. Gx_

_Wanna come take a midnight walk on the beach?_

The thrill of him asking that shouldn’t be so prominent but there’s something about this man’s presence that makes her want to life a little bit more. The adventurous side of her wants to jump out of bed immediately and meet him on the coastline. But she’s also a mother of three who can’t afford to be reckless.

Blake’s second text comes in seconds later.

_I’ve brought a jacket this time._

She bites her lip and makes up her mind. Adventurous it is.

 _Omw_.

She’s thankful for the only pair of skinny jeans she packed as the ocean wind blows briskly around her. Her hands zip up her jacket all the way to her chin as she spots Blake in the distance. The beach is illuminated only by the lights from the strip above it, the nightlife still in full effect while the rest sleep. Blake is standing a few feet away, his feet pointed to the ocean as he stares out into the distance.

She doesn’t want to startle him, so clears her throat softly while approaching him. His gaze finds her quickly and he immediately turns his body to her.

“You made it.”

It seems like he almost expected her to cancel on him last minute or something. She bites her lip and nods. “Wanna walk?”

She’s cold and has no desire to stand too close to the ocean without moving. He walks so close to her their elbows touch every now and then as his eyes follow his steps into the sand. They don’t say anything for a while and just continue to walk in close proximity. The cold and the darkness make her a little less vigilant as she keeps crashing into his arm by accident. Blake chuckles and pushes back at one point, causing her to giggle an apology.

“Do you wanna talk about what kept you awake tonight?” She asks, finally breaking the silence as she takes in the side of his stubbly face in the dark.

“I don’t even know if I know.” He chuckles.

They walk past the closed beach bar which looks almost haunted with all the lights out and in the middle of a blanket of sand. She automatically seeks a bit more closeness from Blake, who doesn’t even seem to think twice about putting his arm around her again. It’s a mirror image of how they were walking earlier tonight and she feels that same kind of calmness.

“Why were _you_ still up?” He asks.

“Because I couldn’t stop thinking about my kids back home and the fun I’ve had here today. It’s like I’m constantly torn between feeling guilty and being relieved that I’m still able to experience joy. And the ocean…it gives me this feeling of freedom that might be taking my mind to places I shouldn’t allow it to go.”

Blake bites his lip. “The ocean can do all that?”

She pushes at him playfully but he’s much stronger than she is, keeping her right there against him. She didn’t really want to get away from him though and appreciates the way he keeps her snug against his side.

“I’m serious. I’ve been thinking about things I haven’t thought about in years. You gotta understand, just because a divorce only happened now doesn’t mean things haven’t been bad for many more years before that. Joy and freedom have not been words to describe my life in the past few years, with the exception of my kids.”

“I _do_ understand.” Blake says softly, his eyes trained on about 80 feet of beach in front of them.

“I know you do. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean— “

“You’re deserving of those things, you know? Joy and freedom.”

She breathes out a shaky sigh while combing a hand through her hair. “So do you. Is that why you’re taking a walk on the beach at four thirty in the morning?”

“Is that why you agreed on joining me for a walk on the beach at four thirty in the morning?”

Her soft laugh gets carried away by the ocean and she’s filled with a feeling that’s so light, it almost doesn’t feel real. It becomes unclear to her if it’s really the ocean’s doing or if it’s more related to the cowboy holding her close.

“I wouldn’t want you to walk around the beach alone at this hour. You’re quite far from your room, Blake.”

He chuckles and lets one of his fingers trail soft patterns on her arm. “I’m gonna pretend like you’re not teasing me about my earlier concern for you and instead are expressing genuine concern for _me_.”

Gwen bites her lip, her cheeks hurting from smiling so much. “I am actually concerned for you.”

“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself, sweetheart. Haven’t you noticed that during our stay at this completely sufficient resort?”

“All I’ve noticed since we’ve got here is that your hip action is pretty stiff and you were in desperate need of a teacher.”

He looks her way for a moment before snorting.

“Dancing is not a necessity to make it through life.”

Gwen looks at him sideways. “It’s a necessity if you wanna have fun though.”

He stops on his feet and steps in front of her. She looks up at him questionably but curiously and can’t keep a smile from tugging at her lips.

“In that case…” He holds his hands out for her. “I would like to make up for my lacklustre moves from before as I redeem myself on this pitch-black, deserted beach.”

“Way too make it sound creepy.” She laughs under her breath.

He tugs at her now outstretched hands and waits for her to stumble against him. His hands come up around her as her head tils up to meet his blue eyes.

“Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

She shuts her eyes while another laugh ripples from her throat and she squeezes closer so their bodies are fully connected. It’s weird standing this close to him with no music playing and no one forcing them to dance. This is completely on them, everything that happens in this moment can’t be put on anybody else and that’s a frightening thought.

“What now?” She asks, holding onto his arms as he lightly sways them. “This is not exactly the kind of dancing I was teaching you before.”

“No, this is the type of dancing I can actually keep up with.” He chuckles against her hair.

This is a moment she thinks fairytale are made of and something inside her breaks at the realization that this is her first time in probably her whole entire existence that she’s felt this. Her mind is taken back to Adam’s knowing glances throughout the day and maybe he was onto something she hadn’t been ready to acknowledge before.

“Blake?”

“Yeah?” He hums as he keeps her close and continues his swaying.

“Have you talked to Adam today?”

He chuckles and turns her around all the sudden, making her face the ocean while he stands behind her with his arms still snuck around her waist. They’re no longer dancing, just _holding_ , and she still isn’t convinced there’s anything else going on but an intense friendship that’s blossoming because of their similar fucked up pasts.

“I’ve talked to that moron all day. You gotta be more specific honey, talked to Adam about what?”

She pouts, keeping her gaze on the ocean.

“He seemed to have some…weird ideas about us. Kept prying for something that just wasn’t there. I guess I wanted to know if he came to you with the same thing.”

“He didn’t.” Blake answers, his chin now leaning against her head. “If he made you uncomfortable about anything you should just tell him, Gwen. I’m sure he didn’t mean it like that.”

She shakes her head. “It didn’t make me uncomfortable necessarily. I just…I don’t know, it was just weird and I don’t want things to change between us.”

“Why would anything change between us?”

Gwen realizes she started up a conversation she has no idea about how to navigate. They are just friends. Despite their current position, that’s all they’ve ever been and all they’ve ever talked about being. She’s letting Adam’s words get to her and mess with what she already knows.

“You’re right, I’m being paranoid.” She says softly. “I like the fact that we became friends, Blake. I don’t like what prompted this friendship but I do treasure that we have it. Talking to you helps. It really does.”

She can feel him nod. “Talking to you helps me too, sweetheart. Adam’s a shithead who probably just liked messing with you cause you were drunk. He’s an asshole like that sometimes. I love him, but he’s also a jerk.”

Gwen lets her head lay against his chest and smiles.

“I won’t even defend him this time.”

“Good, he doesn’t deserve it.” Blake jokes, tightening his hold on her when he realizes she’s getting cold again. “If you wanna go back to your room, just tell me.”

She shakes her head. “It’s so beautiful out here. The last time I took time to walk around at night and soak up some gorgeous sights was when I was spending time on a ranch in Montana a few months back. That nature was something else as well, but for me, nothing quite beats the sight of the ocean.”

“This probably won't surprise you, but I didn’t grow up around any beaches. Green landscapes were my forte, and I still love those. It gives me a similar feeling of freedom.”

“Any favorite spots growing up?” She asks.

“None you’ll know.”

“Tell me anyways.”

They’ve shared stories about their divorces and the ugly nights that no one wants to hear about unless you’re going through them yourself. She hasn’t heard enough of the stories that made him who he is as a person, the places that nurtured him and the memories that make him light up inside.

“There used to be this hidden creek behind my high school in Oklahoma. It wasn’t super well known and I was the only one who would drive out there in my dad’s Ford and spent hours looking at the small pond that had sunlight reflecting of the bottom. It was so clear. When we didn’t have school, I’d still drive out there sometimes and bring the guitar. I’d get in so much trouble when I did that.” He laughs quietly at the memory. “My mom had helped me buy the guitar and she kept saying she would whoop my behind if I ever got it ruined by taking it out to the pond. Something about that place just gave me such a sense of freedom. Even when I was still stuck in that small town with dreams bigger than life.”

She rolls her head against his chest some more and looks up at him. “Your parents knew where you went?”

“They knew, but they wouldn’t know how to find it. I was fine with keeping it that way.” He smiles.

“You wanted to keep it to yourself.”

Blake nods. “I got close to this girl in my senior year though. I thought it’d be nice to take her out there and show her a place I thought was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. Biggest mistake ever.”

Her curiosity is more than piqued. She bites her lip and anxiously waits for more.

“Why, what happened?” She asks when Blake doesn’t follow up soon enough.

“I was naïve and didn’t exactly think about what that gesture implied. I got close to the girl, but I wasn’t interested in her like that. She thought I’d just taken her to my signature hook up spot or something and so when I didn’t make a move and acted slightly surprised when _she_ did…she wasn’t so happy.”

“Oh my god!” Gwen laughs, biting her lip. “She thought she was gonna get lucky and you just took her there to…appreciate nature?”

Blake’s body shakes of laughter behind her. “That’s exactly what happened. Looking back, I messed that up good. I didn’t even hold her off cause I was necessarily against the thought of anything happening with us there. I was just genuinely caught off guard.”

Gwen can’t help the laughter that continues to spill off her lips.

“Please tell me you gained a bit more game when you got older.”

“I definitely made it my make out spot after that one experience.”

A grin appears on her face. “I don’t believe you.”

“Okay maybe not _that_ place, but I haven’t had any complains of that kind ever since.”

“Thanks for telling me that story.” Gwen whispers softly, a smile still lingering on her face. “That totally brought me back to when I was young and naïve and things were easier. I needed that cowboy.”

She always loves the way his eyes light up when she calls him that and even though she can’t see his face right now, it’s enough to imagine it.

“We both needed that.” He nods. “Hey Gwen, I should probably walk you back to your room now. It’s almost five thirty and I can tell you’re getting cold again.”

“I’m not….”

“Your neck and shoulders have shivers all over ‘em.”

Gwen chuckles. “Fine, but Blake? This cannot be the last time we take a beach stroll together while we’re here. Got that?”

His hands let go of her and she turns around to look at him. He smiles down at her and lets his dimples pop even in the death of the night.

His hand salutes her. “Yes, ma’am.”

He walks her back to her hotel room and hugs her close to his chest. He waits until she’s safely back inside before taking off. She doesn’t turn on the lights this time, just takes off her jeans and crawls back under the covers. This time she falls asleep within minutes.


	3. Chapter 3

Gwen went back to her room for sunscreen and when she came back all the guys were getting comfortable on the beach already. She unties her kimono when she gets closer to where they are lying on fancy beach chairs with a parasol on Blake’s side. Gwen smiles when she sees there’s a chair reserved for her right next to Blake’s, only slightly moved to the right for more sun and less blockage. Adam’s chair is lying a few feet away, more towards the ocean and Pharrell stays further behind almost near the bar where he’s tucked away under the veil of the beach bar, reading a book.

She sits down and puts the bottle of sunscreen between her teeth as she pulls her hair into a bun. She unscrews the lit on the lotion and squirts some of it on her hand before rubbing it over her arms and legs. The sun is so hot she can already feel her body burning slightly and she releases a satisfied sigh. This is what she’s been needing all along – the opportunity to do some sun bathing at a pretty resort with the view of the Caribbean Sea at her feet.

She can’t help but notice Blake’s cargo shorts and new white t-shirt. He hadn’t worn that one yesterday and somehow this one appears to be just slightly tighter and more flattering. His arms are fully exposed and from the way he’s lying down she can even see a bit of creamy skin on his waist.

She didn’t notice him turning his head to look at her.

“You get any sleep last night?” He asks knowingly.

Their beach walk might have kept her from getting another hour of tossing and turning in her bed, but it proved to be a great way for her to find sleep later.

“Slept like a baby after we took a little walk.”

Blake smiles. “Me too. You were right, we should do it more often.”

She lets her back hit the chair and adjusts herself until she’s comfortable, her leg bending just a little at the knee. Her beige bikini leaves little room for the imagination and there’s a flattering sensation running through her when she gets the feeling Blake’s staring her down a bit.

“Totally. Gosh, I’m still so pale.” She says while her hands gently pinch at her stomach. “I feel like I’m only a few shades away from being transparent.”

Blake laughs loudly. “Sweetheart, have you seen me? No one is gonna notice your paleness as long as you stay near me.”

Gwen crooks her brow. “Is this your smooth way of telling me I should stay close to you?”

She loves how everything she says appears to be amusing to Blake. His larger than life smile is infectious and she bites her lip in anticipation.

“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m Blake Shelton. A country hick from Oklahoma who’s trying real hard to keep Gwen Stefani, the queen of rock and ska to remain _remotely_ interested in being my friend. That means I might have to resort to alternative measures of persuasion.”

“And I don’t know if you noticed, but I’m seriously not as cool as you’re making me out to be and I also know for a fact that you’re aware of my obsession with you, cowboy.”

Blake’s gaze on her feels more intense somehow and she’s feeling the heat on her body from more sources than just the sun now.

“Too bad, I was gonna hit you with some killer persuasion tactics but I guess you don’t want ‘em.” He shrugs dramatically and turns his head to look out at the ocean again.

Gwen giggles and shakes her head.

“What makes you think I would be persuaded?” She asks finally, ready to indulge in his playfulness.

“Cause no girl has been able to resist my charms yet.”

Gwen snorts loudly and tries to ignore the way her heart is doing somersaults in her chest. Their friendship has seriously developed since they got here and it’s only been two days. They always hit it off well but he never was this playful with her before. Dare she say it, even a little flirtatious?

“It’s the dimples mostly.” He adds before looking at her again. He pokes his right dimple with his index finger. “Apparently _these_ are my most flashing assets. Coming to think of it, I don’t think that was meant as compliment…”

“Blake!” She light-heartedly scolds him, covering her mouth with her hand. “You’re crazy.”

“But I can make you smile like that?” He counters. “Call me crazy any time, because it will damn sure be worth it.”

His words cause the blood to heat beneath her skin and she finds herself once again blushing over Blake Shelton’s words.

To save her from herself and her thoughts, the universe brings Adam to even things out. She sits up when she sees her friend approach and immediately prepares for the inevitable comment he’ll make about his two friends looking way too comfortable around each other.

She’s surprised when that doesn’t happen.

“You’ve been swimming yet?” He asks instead, looking at her with a hopeful glance in his eye.

“Not yet. It’s hot as hell though.”

“You gotta get in there, Gwen.” Adam explains, basically bouncing on his feet already. “I know asking Blake is just a waste of breath because there’s no way that Sasquatch will get in the water with me. But you on the other hand…”

Gwen smiles and bites her lip hesitantly. She’s not opposed to taking a swim in the ocean, but she does feel a certain discomfort at leaving Blake’s side and therefore ending their easy banter. It still feels so new and sacred to her, this bond with him, she’s still not sure it will continue to be there when she gets back. Too used to life taking these things away from her when she starts believing in them to last.

“Uhm, I don’t know, isn’t it too cold?” She stammers. It’s a dumb excuse and she wants to slap herself for using it, but it’s too late to take back now.

“Too cold?” Adam nearly yells. “Gwen we’re all literally sweating bullets. Come on, how many more times will we be in Cancún together on the beach?”

Relenting, she takes a deep breath and nods. “Fine, let’s go swim.”

Blake smiles at her as he continues to lay down and not move an inch.

“Don’t you love it?” He asks, waiting for her brow to crook again. “The way Adam will always make it feel like you’re on a trip with at least one of your kids?”

“Fuck you dude.” Adam snorts.

She shakes her head and laughs quietly while following Adam to the sea. The sand feels hot beneath her feet and the cold water is a nice distraction from the way her skin burns. Adam is already waist deep into the water by the time she’s still splashing her toes around, trying to get acclimated.

“It’s really not that bad once you get in there.”

“The problem is _getting_ in there, Adam.” She pouts, laughter spilling over her lips again. It’s been a long time since she’s felt this carefree and light.

“Want me to help?” He asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

She points a finger at him in warning. “Don’t you dare!”

She wades through the seawater and tries not to splash her hands like a little kid to distract herself from the cold. She yelps when her stomach disappears into the water.

“Not that bad, right?”

Gwen closes her eyes and focuses on anything else but the way her torso feels like it’s freezing. “I don’t wanna talk to you right now, Adam.”

She can hear the other man laugh nearby as her eyes remain closed for a second. When she looks at him again, she catches her friend staring out in front of him. She turns her body slightly to follow his line of vision and swallows loudly.

Blake is looking at them from his chair. Though he’s way too far away for her to make out any facial expressions, she does notice that he’s no longer laying down and is instead sitting up.

“He’s an idiot.” Adam mumbles, shaking his head.

“Why?”

“Gwen, he’s blatantly staring at you and you don’t even notice.”

“No he’s not.” Gwen tries to dispute his statement even though it’s clear as day that he _is_. “Stop looking for things Adam.”

“I’ll stop looking for things when you two stop giving me any reasons. How is that?”

She splashes some water up and into his face, laughing at his shocked expression.

“That’s what you get for being annoying.” She smiles, following up her words with another splash of water.

“Really, Gwen?” He mocks her, wiping his face. “What are we, _three_?”

She doesn’t feel fazed by his comment and instead enjoys the childish joy spreading through her heart. Even with Adam’s suspicion towards her, this retreat with the Voice coaches is already the most fun she’s had in years. She watches as Adam loses some of his hyper active energy in the water before having enough and slowly making her way back onto the dry shore.

Her body covers in goosebumps immediately and she seeks the warmth of her towel and spot in the sun excessively. Blake’s lying down again but his hand shields his eyes from the sun as he watches her intensely.

She draws closer to him, water dripping from her body. She grabs the towel from the beach chair and wraps it around her snugly.

“God that’s fucking cold.” She complains before giggling.

“Was it nice?” He asks.

She nods. “The water is amazing. You should go take a swim, cowboy. You’re gonna overheat here.”

Blake grins. “Have you seen my pale skin? I need this.”

She reaches for her beach bag underneath her chair and chucks some of her sunscreen at him. “At least take a bit more of this. I don’t want you to literally burn up over here.”

Blake unscrews the lid and chuckles. “Yes, mom.”

“Don’t test me, Blake. I will literally start applying the sunscreen _on_ you if you don’t hurry.”

He wiggles his eyebrows. “I hope that’s a threat you’re willing to make good on…”

Gwen feels her cheeks flush and suddenly realizes the implications of her statement just now. She bites down onto her bottom lip and lays down on her chair.

“Would you want me to?”

His eyes stare down into hers so deeply she finds it hard to focus on anything else.

He squirts some of the lotion on his hand and nods. “I think I’m gonna have to hold you to that one for sure, Gwen.”

“Only if you repay the favour.” She smiles and _whoa_ , she is actively teasing and when did _that_ become a thing?

Blake grins confidently.

“Oh, you just got yourself a deal pretty girl.”

**

The restaurant was empty aside from the four coaches and Carson. Gwen was no stranger to some preferential treatment ever since becoming famous, but a nearly rented out beach resort was a new one. If she weren’t so deliriously happy right now, she’d probably wonder how the hell NBC pulled this off. 

She’s sitting in between Blake and Carson, Pharrell immediately across from her and Adam to his left. She watches as Blake and Adam resort to flicking pieces of napkin at each other and she chuckles. Sometimes they really do act like children with bad manners. 

“This has gotta be one of the best marinated steaks I’ve ever had.” Carson quips enthusiastically. “Maybe aside from that one time at your place.” He says while looking at Blake. 

“This is better than any of the crap I served you.” Blake chuckles.

“Don’t let him fool you.” Adam says. “This guy can actually cook. He’s just being modest.”

“Who are you even talking to?” Blake laughs.

It could be she’s getting a bit paranoid, but she swears Adam is looking right at her. As if she were somehow to benefit from the news Blake cooks well. As if she’s about to get a private dinner invatation sometime soon. 

“Anyone who’s interested.” Adam shrugs and then remembers his playfulness. “Which in your case, yeah, probably aren’t many of us.”

Blake rolls his eyes, but before they move to his plate they settle on Gwen for a second. He smiles at her so softly she can’t help but reciprocate.

“Any of you have plans for tonight?” Carson asks, finishing the last of his wine. 

“I’m having a FaceTime date with the wife and kiddos tonight.” Pharrell answers. “I’m game for whatever you guys wanna do tomorrow.”

Adam sighs. “I might call Bee, get an early night sleep for once. Maybe fuel up for tomorrow night...” 

Adam’s brow wiggles and she can tell he’s up to no good before he continues talking. 

“You’re still up for it, Blake?” He asks.

Gwen’s eyes shift from Adam’s face to Blake’s, waiting for their plan to be revealed.

“Adam wants to go out tomorrow, he apparently saw some sick club on the way here.” Blake rolls his eyes and chuckles. “Since someone will have to supervise this man child, I offered to sacrifice my time and go with him.”

“Oh please, the thought of some cheap booze and good music made you so excited I basically didn’t even have to ask.”

Adam doesn’t mention the presence of plenty of single girls who are ready to party it up with good looking men and she’s grateful for that. 

“Count me in.” Pharrell says, quickly joined by Carson too. 

“Gwen, what about you?” Adam asks. “Are you up for some shameless partying tomorrow night?”

Gwen lets out a nervous laugh. She doesn’t necessarily feel like going to a night club, but she’s not about to stay behind on her lonesome. Besides, it might be good for her to live a little. 

“Sure, I’m in too.”

“ _Now_ we’re talking.” Blake responds with a grin, throwing a quick fist in the air as a sign of victory when she confirms to be game. 

She’s starting to feel the wine now dinner is well behind them and they’re just sipping on half empty glasses. Pharrell and Adam announce they’re going back to their rooms and Gwen decides to go back and maybe call her parents, ask for some updates on the kids. 

As she stands up, her balance seems to be just a little off as she grabs Blake’s shoulder for stability. She accidentally sends his glass flying from the impact and most of the contents spill over Blake’s chest as result.

Her hand flies to cover her mouth, mortified. 

“Oh my god Blake, I’m so sorry.” She squeals, shaking her head. “God I’m so stupid, I.....”

“Sweetheart, it’s fine. I’ll just throw it in the washer...” He responds casually while using the napkin to get some droplets of wine off his hands and arms. 

“You really did us all a favor.” Adam laughs. “That shirt is an abomination.”

Everyone laughs but Gwen still feels embarrassed and flushed about her clumsy mistake. 

“You’re gonna make it worse.” She says when he starts wiping at his shirt, basically only enlarging the stain. “At least let me help you save it.”

She reaches for the table salt in front of her and sprinkles some in a napkin, before folding it up tightly in her first. Blake’s brow raises at her action but he doesn’t say anything. 

When the guys excuse themselves to go back to their hotel rooms, she figures it’s save for them to do the same. The walk to the compound is quick as ever, the night sky giving a nice ambiance while they walk in silence. 

He holds out his key card when they get to his room before standing still. “Are you gonna come in?”

Best to be straightforward in this case to avoid any possible awkwardness, she nods. 

“Yes, I’m gonna help you save this shirt even though it really doesn’t deserve to be saved.”

He smiles widely before pushing his door open. He gestures with his hand for her to go first. “After you.”

The first thing she realizes when she steps inside is that his one suitcase is still unpacked and there’s an expensive bottle of whiskey that all their rooms have, only hers is still untouched while his is opened and standing temptingly next to the TV. 

“Lose the shirt cowboy. We gotta act fast.”

Blake looks at her stunned for a second and then looks down at his shirt. Not expecting to be hit with hesitation, she begins to backtrack. 

“It’s okay, I can probably work with it while you keep it on, I just— “

He shakes his head to stop her ramblings. “A clean shirt is way more appealing, plus I don’t think I can sit there and not make a fool of myself while you feel up my chest.” He jokes. 

She’s still trying to make sense of his words when he turns around and pulls his shirt off in one clean move. He grabs a clean one out of his suitcase and then turns around slowly. 

He chucks his dirty one towards her and she doesn’t know how, but she manages to catch it despite all the distractions. 

She stares at him with the heat quickly flushing her cheeks and clears her throat. 

He pulls the clean shirt over his head and adjusts it so his bare chest is no longer on display for her. She doesn’t know what to make of the feeling that she wants to see that again and _again and again._

“Now what?” He asks sheepishly.

She licks her lips and looks down at the t-shirt in her hands. She walks towards the large hotel bathroom and lays out the piece of fabric on the vanity. She grabs the napkin and shows the salt that’s bottled up in there before lightly sprinkling it across the stain. 

“Do you have a wash cloth or anything we can gently blot it with?”

Blake scratches behind his ear and reaches for the wash cloth underneath the shower head. 

“Will this work?”

Gwen looks a bit sceptical, but eventually relents. “We’ll just have to wait and find out.”

She starts to carefully touch the stain with the cloth, making sure never to make a rubbing motion. She inspects the fabric in her hand for absorbing any of the wine before bringing it to his shirt again. She repeats the motion for at least ten minutes while Blake stands soundlessly next to her, their gazes sometimes meeting in the vanity mirror.

“Thanks for doing this, Gwen.” He says softly while watching her work the cotton. “You really didn’t have to. It’s an honour to have gotten Gwen Stefani to throw her drink at me.”

“I didn’t do it on purpose.” She says mortified before catching his mischievous smirk in the mirror. “Damn it Blake, you can’t tease me right now. I still can barely breathe from embarrassment.”

Blake laughs loudly. “Why are you embarrassed, Gwen? You stood up too quickly and lost your balance.”

“And then I grabbed your shoulder and caused you to spill red wine all over your chest.” Her eyes can’t help but cast down a bit and she bites her lip bashfully. “Not just your chest either, it appears.”

Blake’s gaze follows the path hers just did and lands on his thigh. He starts laughing again, shaking his head.

“Damn it girl, you really got me good, didn’t you?” He watches as she holds up his stained shirt and looks at it with a bit of approval. “That looks much better already.” He adds.

She shrugs. “It could be worse. We gotta get this in the washer and it might still come out clean.”

He nods and agrees and for a moment there it becomes awkward. Without the action of washing and rinsing his shirt, she’s just standing in his bathroom and that fact feels quite surreal and well…awkward.

They’re standing so close, too close, and she didn’t even notice until now that their shoulders are touching. Her eyes drop to the new shirt he’s got on and down to his inner thigh where another small red wine stain graces the fabric. She tears her eyes up just a little, thinking it might be safer territory, but looking at his chest is not helping either. His surprisingly toned chest she caught glimpses of a few minutes ago.

She drags her eyes up to his face but that proves to be the worst of all because his eyes are intense, the blue of his irises relegated to a thin ring around the edge of wild darkness.

“I should probably go.” She says quickly, dropping her gaze to the vanity and pushing to stand more firmly. Her back straightens and Blake clears his throat before stepping aside.

“Yeah, it’s getting pretty late. Thanks again though, for everything.”

She wants to hug him and she thinks that she could, because hey they are friends and they’ve shared hugs before. But suddenly it feels weird and abnormal and she kind of hates it.

“You’re welcome. And sorry again for being so damn clumsy.”

“It’s no problem at all.” He says casually, taking a few steps towards her and pulling her in for a hug. She supposes this works too. She was too scared to go for it but Blake seems to have none of the same problems. He holds her tightly for a moment and then let’s her go. She’s stuck staring up at him, his handsome face looking even more tempting when it’s so close.

If she lived in an alternative universe in which these things could actually happen to her, she would lean up and kiss him and feel the softness of his lips caress hers.

“You’re absolutely gorgeous, Gwen.” He whispers and she bites her lip to keep from groaning. “I hope you don’t mind me saying that but my god.”

She shakes her head.

“You’re so silly.” She dismisses his compliment but she can tell right away that he’s not kidding. “Thank you.” She says eventually, her voice dropping to a barely audible volume.

Something _is_ gonna happen if she stays here and she figures they’d probably both regret it. She takes a deep breath and moves past him, her hand reaching for the door knob.

“It’s becoming our tradition, saying goodnight to each other in hotel rooms.” She says softly.

He smiles. “I like it.”

The night’s air hits her face when she opens the door and she takes in the soft but steady ocean air. It gives her a nice relief from the sudden ache in her body and new longing in her heart.

“Me too.” She admits with a smile. “Goodnight, Blake.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comments build my confidence, good or constructive. Please don't be shy <3

She straightened her hair to perfection, watching it flow neatly down her shoulders. She opted for a tight black dress with fishnets underneath to accentuate her long and slim legs. The scene in front of her is not entirely new but it’s been foreign to her for years. The loud music and flashing lights make it impossible to focus on one thing at the time. That’s probably why everybody here is either obliterate drunk or high. Aside from the little bit of weed they smoked before getting here, the coaches were still relatively sober, though that surely wouldn’t be for long.

She looks around the club lazily, wondering how she ended up alone with Pharrell at the bar. He had just been in deep conversation with a model looking girl, who drifted off seconds ago when he let her know about his marital status.

“You lost your friend.” Gwen chuckles, downing her first drink of the night.

“I know.” He says, raising his glass. “To the things that could’ve been if I weren’t such a family man now.”

He must be further gone than she is already. Gwen shakes her head, smiles and clinks her glass with his. She tries to spot Adam and Blake but they are nowhere to be seen.

Pharrell looks at her with a smirk. “Blake is probably getting in some trouble with Adam right about now. I think they both need to blow off some steam.”

Gwen tries to hide her sudden worry.

“Adam is married.” Gwen says warily, finding it easier to focus on her married friend than her single crush.

“Not that kind of trouble.” Pharrell counters.

“ _Oh_.” Gwen mumbles a bit dumbly. “They’re getting messed up somewhere?”

Pharrell shrugs. “I wouldn’t be surprised if they were.”

She’s about to order another drink when she catches a pair of eyes focused on her. She looks over to Blake’s hazy stare as his smile is blinding and effortless. Blake slowly sip the amber liquid in his glass and tips his drink in a small gesture of acknowledgement. If he’s completely intoxicated, he hides it well. She spots Adam a minute later, in conversation with a group of younger girls who obsessively fight over his attention.

She wants to walk over there and ask Blake where they had been for the last thirty minutes. But it’s none of her business and she doesn’t think she has the right to get overly protective over Blake just yet. But she can’t help that feeling of discomfort spreading through her limbs at the thought of him getting flirtatious with someone else.

Adam ditches the group of girls before it can spiral out of control and hangs on Blake’s arm a bit lazily. Whatever they’ve been doing out of her sight hit Adam much harder than it did Blake it seems.

Gwen can see Blake moving into her direction and it’s infuriating how slowly he does so. She pushes herself away from the bar and meets him halfway on the dancefloor, wincing as she bumps into a few party-goers on the way.

Pharrell is right behind her and starts up what looks like hilarious banter with Adam right away.

Blake leans down to whisper against her ear.

“You look beautiful, Gwen.”

She blushes. “Thank you. I thought you’d left already.”

She hopes her question disguised as a statement wasn’t all too obvious as she can’t help but wonder where they’d been.

Blake smirks. “Leave and miss the sight of you in this dress? I don’t think so.”

She can smell the weed and alcohol on his breath when he leans down to speak against her ear and she no longer has to wonder what he’d been up to. She smiles at his flirtatious words, crediting it to his less than sober state of mind.

She on the other hand is not that far gone and doesn’t know where her feelings are coming from. Blake standing so close to her makes her painfully aware of her own desires towards the tall cowboy.

“Wanna go to a place a little less crowded?” Blake says gently, placing a soft hand on her lower back. “There’s a beautiful view right outside this tourist trap.”

She smiles and nods. “I’d like that.”

Pharrell and Adam are drinking and conversing near the bar and don’t look like they’re missing their friends just yet. Gwen lets Blake’s gentle hand lead her outside and she inhales deeply when she gets a whiff of that ocean air again instead of hazy club smoke.

“Sorry darling, it’s not exactly my scene in there.” He says awkwardly, scratching the back of his neck.

“What _is_ your scene then?” She asks, walking towards the edge of the strip that looks out over the entire beach. Blake was right, this place is gorgeous.

“Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy a drink more than most, but there are way too many people in there.” He says with a smirk, standing shoulder-to-shoulder with her, while looking out in front of him. “What about you? Are you enjoying yourself?”

She bites her lip and finishes her drink in one gulp.

“You shouldn’t ask me that.” She whispers sadly. “I feel like my answer would only make you think less of me.”

She feels the heat of his gaze on her cheek.

“I promise you, nothing you could ever say to me would make me think less of you.”

She smiles. “This is truly a beautiful place, Blake. You were right, I needed this.”

He stays quiet and just looks at her.

“I’m having a great time.” She responds quietly to his earlier question. Flashes of her kids back home and the media having a field day with her name, run through her mind and she wishes it wouldn’t come back and haunt her all when she’s supposed to be having a good time with friends. “I just can’t always seem to forget everything going on back home, you know? It’s hard to enjoy myself when all I can think about is my life exploding in the most public way.”

Her breath catches when she speaks the words out loud, not realizing how badly she needed to let go of them.

“I made my mom read a tabloid to me out loud over the phone before I left, just because I wanted to know what people were saying about me before I came here. Hoping the narrative has slightly shifted by the time I get back, might sound ridiculous but it’s the only thing that kept me from cancelling this trip altogether.”

Silence overtakes them as she looks up at him, his blue eyes looking slightly darker and a little bit sadder than the hopeful pools of ocean she usually knows them as.

“I’m sorry this is happening to you, Blake.” She whispers, genuinely aching with the thought of this handsome and gorgeous man - both inside and out- going through such tragedy. “You don’t deserve any of this. For what it’s worth, the narrative around you will change just because the truth always comes out. You’re too good of a man for it not to.”

She almost regrets spilling so much but her word vomit causes a tentative but genuine smile to appear on his face.

“Thank you.” He says softly, his hand briefly touching her back. “I appreciate you for not trying to pretend like things are better than they are right now. Your hope somehow means more that way.”

She gets that, truly gets that, because it’s something she struggles with too. There’s nothing as frustrating as people telling her the tabloids really aren’t that bad, or that her name really isn’t getting _that_ smeared, because the truth is, it _is_.

She knows Blake’s is too.

“We’re quite literally the life of the party, huh?” She chuckles, looking out into the darkness and hearing the loud music blaring from behind them.

“Wanna go inside and show me some more of your dance moves?”

Blake’s smile is blinding and it’s crazy how fast he can change her mood from sorrowful to playful. His dimples popping out at the sides of his mouth make her feel the crazy urge to rise up her tiptoes and plant soft kisses on his lips until she’s familiar enough with his taste to write about it.

“Are you gonna dance with me?” She asks, brow crooked as if she can hardly believe it.

“Oh no.” He shakes his head with a look of disgust. “But I would gladly watch you.”

Gwen scoffs. “Not a chance Shelton. You’re dancing with me.”

She doesn’t leave him enough time to protest and starts tugging him back towards the club. Staying out here with him was a nice thought but it was one that became more dangerous with the minute.

Inside where they’ll be watched by hundreds of people would be a lot safer.

Drunk people get acquainted with each other as they rub up on each other on the dancefloor, the DJ keeps asking people if they’re still having fun but the question gets drowned out by people losing their inhibitions. It’s the perfect place for Gwen to disappear into a crowd of people who are just as lost as she is.

“Hey where are you going?” She pouts, grabbing Blake’s wrist.

“Don’t think I can dance in public without getting another drink in me.” He smiles, making his way to the bar and leaving her restless and desperately waiting on the dance floor.

She’s losing her faith in him coming back when a few minutes pass and she’s lost his figure in the large crowd of people. She knows it’s perfectly plausible for him to have found a random girl at the bar just now who was making an alluring plea for his attention. She wonders if he would take someone back to his room just to forget about the crappy state of his life at the moment.

“Sorry darling, there was a bit of a line.” She hears a gentle and low voice coo in her ear from behind. She looks backwards to watch Blake settle in against her back, one of his hands sliding to her stomach while the other one hosts a glass of whiskey. “Have I told you how beautiful you look in the last ten minutes?”

The compliment leaves his mouth like it’s a simple hello and she blushes shyly as she puts a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You don’t have to tell me every ten minutes.” She chuckles.

“You’re right.” He says, having no trouble with plastering her against his chest with his hand. “But I’m gonna.”

She chuckles as he sways her, his hand sliding to her waist and tapping her lightly.

“Is this what you consider dancing?” She says hoarsely, feeling wildly affected by his hand on her waist and his body so tightly pressed behind her.

“Feel free to move…” He croons hotly. “Just make sure that whatever you do, you do it against me.”

A nervous feeling fills her system but it’s overpowered by such a strong sense of longing she can’t tell herself to stop. Her hips move just slightly against him, smirking when she hears his sharp intake of breath.

Two can play this game, she thinks.

She hates him a little for getting that drink because it keeps him from being able to use both hands and the one on her waist is seriously doing things to her already. She keeps moving against him, careful not to take it too far, not wanting to scare him away.

She gasps lightly when he turns her around briskly and keeps her against him with that same hand on her waist, only now standing chest to chest.

His close proximity makes it possible for his nose to brush against her soft strands of blonde. If she thought she was safer here from the flame burning inside her, it’s becoming clear that was a mistake.

All the people inside the room wouldn’t be able to stop whatever kind of spark this was.

“How is it that out of every single guy in the world, it’s me who’s getting to dance with you tonight?” He whispers against her ear, his hand slipping to her lower back.

“You’re way too cute to be asking me a question like that.” She replies, the admission coming out without the least bit of coaxing.

She notices his hand on her back sliding higher until he’s softly sliding his hand underneath her soft strands and grips the back of her neck. Her eyes pierce up at him as she bites her lip. It’s as if nothing else matters in this moment.

Her brain shuts off for a bit and all she can think about all his eyes staring down at her lips and his face coming closer so slowly it’s making her dizzy with desire.

It’s then that someone stumbles into her, making her suddenly aware of her surroundings. She sighs deeply and lets her nose brush his cheek regretfully. So close.

“I hate it here.” Blake chuckles against her, his hand skirting down her back again.

She looks up at him, ready to mouth an apology to him when Adam’s voice interrupts their moment. Blake lets go of her body immediately and though she misses it, she plays right along.

“I’m gonna be so fucking sick.” Adam mumbles, looking rather unsteady on his feet. It’s then that Gwen realizes it was him who stumbled into her earlier and Blake looks at his friend with a bit of amusement and frustration.

“Jesus, how much did you have to drink?” He asks, steadying Adam by sliding an arm around his back.

“The lights….” Adam replies, shaking his head. “Not okay man. Not _fucking alright_ …” He trails off in inaudible chatter that makes Gwen bite her lip nervously.

“Should we get him out of here?” She asks softly at Blake.

He nods. “I’ll get him back to his room. I was about to call it a night anyways.”

“I’ll help you.” Gwen offers, taking the other side of Adam to keep him stable.

They say goodbye to Pharrell who decides to stay a bit longer and walk slowly on the sidewalk. The air around them is fresh in juxtaposition to the club they just left.

“I didn’t even drink this much.” Adam blurts again while his legs try to keep himself up, but he just ends up relying on Blake and Gwen’s stability mostly.

“Maybe you shouldn’t combine everything you do.” Blake chuckles.

Gwen looks up at Blake, once again reminded of the time Blake and Adam were nowhere to be found. It’s not that she doesn’t trust Blake, or Adam for that matter, but the slight fear of his partying reputation makes her feel just a little uneasy. She’s fallen for the ‘wild’ type time and time again and it had all led her here. Divorced, lonely and with more scars to show the world.

She thinks what’s drawing her to Blake right now is different, but it’s hard to trust herself when she’s only got pain to show for it.

“Fuck, I promised I’d call Bee later.” Adam continues to ramble.

Blake’s hold on Adam is for sure the most stabilizing one and they both rely on his strength when he helps Adam up the resort’s stairs.

“Don’t call her tonight.” Blake says gently. “You’ll just worry her. I’ll let her know you’re knocked out in your hotel room and you’ll call her in the morning.”

Adam looks up at him and nods gratefully.

“Thanks man.”

“Don’t worry about it. Remember the amount of times you had to see me like this when you decided to take my sorry ass into your home?”

Adam puts his thumb in the air, nearly tripping over his own feet as they get to his door. “You were always fun to have around, Sasquatch.”

“ _Yeah, yeah_ …” Blake chuckles, leaning one of his hands against Adam’s hotel room door. “You know where you’ve got your room key, buddy?”

Adam reaches for his back pocket, digging deeply before dropping it and making a big show out of picking it up. Gwen looks over at Blake, biting back a grin as she watches her friend struggle.

“Should we help?”

“Let him figure it out.” Blake smiles wickedly and Gwen slaps his arm.

“Let me help.” Gwen says, opening the door for him and letting Adam in. He hugs her and flips Blake off before letting his back settle on the large hotel bed.

Gwen and Blake both chuckle as she lays his room key on the table. Blake takes off Adam’s shoes and covers him faintly with the blanket, but their friend isn’t even awake to notice it anymore.

“Oh my god.” Gwen giggles, careful not to wake him as Blake walks them out and closes the door softly behind them. “He is so out of it right now.”

“He’s gonna have a hell of a headache tomorrow, that’s for sure.”

She tightens her arms around herself, fighting off the slight chill as she walks towards her own room. “Where are you going?” She asks when she sees Blake following her instead of stopping at his own door.

“I’m walking you to your room.” He says simply. “As long as that’s okay with you?”

“Of course.” She says and her smile is way too big.

She reminds herself of the few hesitations she has to make sure she won’t try and do something when he gets to her room. But they’ve been teasing and flirting all night and she can’t deny the way her body still wants to get closer to him and let him fill her whole view of the world for a while.

When they get to her room, she extracts her arms from herself and looks down at the ground shyly.

“Tonight was fun.” She speaks softly.

“Tonight was great.” He confirms.

Blake licks his lips and she swallows hard at the sight of it. Her heart is suddenly pounding in her chest and she can see a question lingering in his eyes. She’s pretty sure her answers to all his questions would be ‘ _yes, whatever you want_ ’ right now, but he never asks a single thing.

His gaze shifts slightly and then he’s rubbing a stiff hand at the back of his head.

“Maybe I had a bit too much to drink, or maybe I’m reading this all wrong, but— “

She cuts him off, grabbing onto him and reeling him back and right into a kiss. His hands move to cup her cheeks, his tongue tenderly prying open her lips.

She tastes the sweetness of the whiskey and distinctive smell of weed on his lips but she can’t get enough of it. She pushes at the back of his head as if she could get him any closer to him and sighs against his mouth in relief, his thumb massaging her chin.

It’s electric and breathless and she never knew a first kiss could be like this. It’s like getting lost and being found all wrapped in one, as they come crashing together in a tragically beautiful manner.

When Blake finally pulls back, it’s with ragged breathing and Gwen’s head starts to swim a little. She can see the confusion and desire radiating off Blake and she nearly loses all strength in her body when he licks his lips to savour the taste of her.

“I don’t want to do anything you might regret in the morning, so I think I should head back…” He says carefully, his hands fumbling with the fabric of her dress as he speaks, the thought of letting go of her not one he’s come to terms with just yet.

She nods and rakes her hands through her hair nervously.

“Yeah…” He lets go of her altogether and smiles before making a move to leave. “Hey Blake?”

“Yeah?”

“Goodnight.”

Blake smiles widely and she can tell he’s fully intending to pull away until his gaze lands back on her mouth. Her lips are still shining with the proof of what they just did and he just can’t resist. He presses another lingering kiss on her lips, just brushing together before pulling back and winking at her.

“Goodnight, Gwen.”


	5. Chapter 5

She woke up at eight that morning, unable to worry herself back to sleep.  
  
She knew it would be another hour before everyone else would start getting ready for breakfast, so she tried turning on the TV and leaning her head back against the headboard of the hotel bed.  
  
In quiet moments like these, it’s even easier to remember the softness of Blake’s lips and his strong back beneath her palms. He had left her feeling simultaneously more full and emptier than ever when he left her last night after kissing her senseless. It was something she had initiated but didn’t think through at all.  
  
They were drunk and buzzing from the night club, and it wasn’t just booze Blake was coming off of. He might not even remember the way he kissed her in front of her room or worse, he could regret doing it altogether.  
  
She had gotten to sleep by telling herself things would be okay. They would continue being their friendly and flirty selves while spending time at the resort, as long as she’d make sure they wouldn’t spend any more time alone together. But the memory of what happened was much too real and much too enjoyable for her to just sweep under the rug. Being close to him for the remaining ten days and not being able to touch or spend quality time with him would be brutal.  
  
She will just have to make it not matter.  
  
It’s not like he texted her or anything to let her know he wasn’t regretting what happened. He probably doesn’t even remember and fell asleep as soon as his back hit the matrass.  
  
She couldn’t believe she was the one struggling to fall asleep afterwards. She doesn’t want to be back in that place of wandering and uncertainty. She didn’t have the heart to go through rejection again as it was pretty clear her heart hadn’t mended at all from her pending divorce. It’s still too fresh and she should not be entertaining the idea of being anything more with Blake than just friends.  
  
She stares at the hotel wall as she recalls the list of poor choices she’s made these last few weeks and kissing Blake would have to definitely top that.  
  
She closes her eyes, tuning out the sound of the TV as she tries hard to keep her tears inside. The sound of her phone buzzing obnoxiously fills the room and causes her to sit up straight and reach for the device with tired arms.  
  
“Hello.”  
  
“Morning, Gwen.” It’s Adam’s voice and she smiles in relief, realizing she didn’t even check who was calling her and it could’ve been someone else.  
  
“How are you feeling?” She asks. “I didn’t expect you to be up already, if at all today.”  
  
“Blake insisted.” He says, and she can practically hear his eye roll. “He showed up at my door about twenty minutes ago, making sure I’d get up and wasn’t lying around somewhere in my own puke.”  
  
She should’ve known Blake would check up on his friend this morning, the nurturing and caring traits all in his nature. This whole thing would’ve been so much easier if he wasn’t someone to admire.  
  
“That’s good that he did that, I guess.” Gwen says softly, trying not to tip Adam off about her conflicting feelings.  
  
“Yeah but anyways...” Adam says quickly, sounding way too cheery for a guy who basically went knock-out last night. “Pharrell and Blake arranged for us to take a boat trip today, so we’ll be having breakfast on the beach and then head out.”  
  
“We’re doing that today?” Gwen asks, the information getting to her slowly.  
  
“Yeah, the boat leaves at 9:30.”

Gwen rubs at her temple.  
  
“When will we get back?”  
  
“Around dinner time. It’s basically the whole day. You don’t get sea sick, right?”  
  
Gwen almost wants to laugh. She wishes that was the thing she needed to worry about. Instead she has to sit on a boat with Blake all day, with nowhere to go and no other distractions.  
  
“No, I’m fine.” Gwen lies, taking a deep breath. “I’ll meet you guys at the beach around nine.”  
  
“Works for me.” Adam quips. “Blake and I will probably be there in thirty minutes. I can’t really relax anyways with this asshole sitting on my bed.”  
  
“…. _You love it…_ ” She can hear Blake say in the background and her heart does a weird flip at hearing his voice.  
  
“Yeah, whatever.” Adam counters. “I’m gonna hang up, Gwen. See you later.”  
  
“See you.” Gwen says softly before tearing the phone away from her ear. She stares at her screen for a few seconds after their call, letting today’s plans settle in.  
  
She’s nervous and can already feel her hands shaking at the thought of facing Blake again. She wishes she could hold off on it a little longer, but unfortunately she’s not granted that fortune.  
  
She could’ve said no to coming along and stayed behind at the resort, but that kind of would’ve ruined the whole purpose of this trip. She was here to spend time with her friends and get out of her head. Even if her divorce or ex-husband aren’t the main reasons for her worries, she came here to do nothing of the sort. Worrying about Blake and what he thinks of her isn’t an appreciated replacement.  
  
Besides, why should _she_ be the one staying behind when it’s not just her who kissed him? He was all too eager to return the favour.  
  
She gets herself ready in the bathroom and puts on her small bikini underneath her short shorts and tanktop. She brushes her hair up into a ponytail and applies the softest pink gloss on her lips. She looks at herself in the mirror and tries to ignore the bags under her eyes from sleeping so very little last night. Her heart has this sunken feeling as if she just ruined things with the one person she was getting along with the best.  
  
She sees the full bottle of liquor standing on her dresser still and part of her thinks about opening it tonight when she’s back in her room alone. The same way she saw the bottle opened and glistering in Blake’s hotel room the other night.  
  
She walks by groups of people when she leaves her hotel room and feels the heated sun on her back while approaching the beach. She slips one of her hands in her pocket, hoping it will make her look less stressed and a bit more casual as she’s about to approach her friends.  
  
The first thing she sees when walking towards the shoreline is Adam’s tired physique. His features seem a bit drawn and the jacket hanging casually tossed over his shoulder doesn’t hide the way they’re slightly hunched.  
  
His eyes widen when he spots her and his voice sounds much like it did over the phone, tired but cheerful.  
  
“Gwen, you’re here. Finally.”  
  
She looks at her phone and smiles. “We said 9:00 didn’t we?”  
  
“I know, but we’ve been here for the last thirty minutes and I was starting to crave your company, if you know what I’m saying.” Adam playfully nudges his head towards Blake, who only meets her eyes briefly before focusing them back on his friend.  
  
She’s grateful for the way Adam keeps the conversation going and manages to get both Blake and Gwen to feel a bit more comfortable. They end up saying very little to each other, but Blake cracks a smile at her words more than once and she manages to hold his gaze for a little more than two seconds by the end of it.  
  
Pharrell and a tan stranger are the reason for the rest of the conversation to die down and she’s pulled in a familiar hug when her decade old friend arrives.  
  
“Good to see you, Gwen.” He says against her hair, lingering a tad longer than usual. Maybe she’s not as good of an actress and makes it quite visible that she’s dealing with something. Pharrell had always been good at getting that stuff out of her. That’s what made for some quality musical collaborations in the past.  
  
“Good to see you too.” She whispers before they separate.  
  
“Mr. Pharrell told me you’re all interested in the full day getaway.” The stranger starts saying. “I’m Gabriel, your tour guide for today. I’ll be joining you on our luxury private charter. The boat leaves in twenty minutes so if you guys want to follow me, I can explain to you our safety rules and regulations while we board.”  
  
Adam rubs his hands together, some of his energy returning at the prospect of their day being laid out for them.  
  
“Sweet.” He says.  
  
Blake chuckles and follows right after, leaving Pharrell and Gwen to be the ones walking behind. She catches him staring at her for a while before she can no longer pretend to be oblivious to it.  
  
“Something is on your mind, I can tell.” She says, her voice soft but demanding.  
  
“I’m just worried about you, you seem a little off…” Pharrell tries gently. “Everything okay with you and Blake?”  
  
Gwen feels her heart drop at the mention of the cowboy and she seriously wonders if their attraction to each other is obvious to everyone with eyes. She bites her lip brutally hard and winces as she produces a little bit of blood.  
  
“Yeah, we’re good.” She says softly, staring at Adam and Blake who are walking ahead, oblivious to the conversation she’s having with Pharrell. “It’s just weird to be here with him, knowing we’re going through the same thing.”  
  
“But that’s why we’re here, right?” He brings up motivationally. “To be that support system. Blake could probably help you out more than you know by just talking to you. He knows what you’re going through, it’s okay to wanna use that.”  
  
Gwen nods in agreement. She wants to bring up what happened last night but she doesn’t even know how to word it. It still feels so surreal and crazy to her. The sand beneath her shoes is soft and steady until she looks up at a hand held out in front of her.  
  
She realizes they’ve reached the dock and Blake’s holding out his hand to help her up the silver structure. Pharrell waits patiently behind her as she reaches out and grabs Blake’s hand, pulling herself onto the dock that overlooks the light blue sea water.  
  
Her face colours with a pink blush as Blake’s finger softly touches her wrist before letting go and she feels her breath coming out more shallow. She clears her throat when Pharrell joins them and the tour guide speaks up again.  
  
“We’ll be arriving at a snorkelling area in an hour, where we’ll anchor down so you guys can take a swim. There’s music provided on board as well as cold beverages, cocktails and homemade Pico. The captain will come out in a bit to introduce himself and you can ask him any leftover questions.”  
  
“ _Cocktails_ …” Adam groans, earning a booming laugh from Blake.  
  
“One last thing.” The tour guide Gabriel announces. “It’s not allowed to take any pictures. There will be a bunch of those taken by me which will be available for purchase after we get back.”  
  
The group nods and agrees before boarding the modern looking white yacht. She’s been on ships bigger than this one but something about this time makes it feel much more special. Surrounded by a group of good people and the prettiest scenery she’s seen in years, this trip feels almost cathartic. They meet the captain while situated on the stern and are ready to go a few minutes later. The easy banter and good flowing conversation makes her forget about her stressful night and morning as she slowly starts to loosen up. The ocean around them gives her a peaceful feeling and it’s second nature to her to lower herself down on the deck and soak up some sun. The friendly chatter of her friends surrounds her when she closes her eyes and it feels heavenly like this.  
  
She only thinks about her children for a second as she lays out there, wondering what they’re doing back home. She hopes she’ll be able to come back from this trip and feel much more relaxed and well-rested. That way she can be the mother to her three boys, the way they deserve her to be.  
  
She can tell someone’s next to her immediately and she doesn’t have to open her eyes to know who it is. Her heart rate speeds up and her hands get clammy when she opens them anyways and sees the tall cowboy lowering himself next to her on the stern of the boat.  
  
“Can we talk?” He asks softly, keeping his voice considerably quiet due to Pharrell and Adam only sitting a few feet away from them.  
  
Nervous by her friends’ close proximity and the subject of what he wants to talk about, she bites her lip and inhales sharply.  
  
“I don’t think that’s necessary.” She hears herself say. “We’re fine. We don’t have to turn what happened into a big deal.”  
  
“Really?” He asks lowly. “Then why can’t you look at me?”  
  
“I can.” She counters, moving her head up so she’s looking straight at him. His blue eyes have a way of mesmerizing her so easily she squints and pretends like the sun is hurting her. “I’m fine, Blake.”  
  
“What if I’m not?”

She bites the inside of her cheek and sighs.

“What is there to say?  
  
“I didn’t kiss you because I was drunk.” He says and she immediately goes to shush him.  
  
“Don’t say that so loudly.” She scolds him in a whisper, looking over her shoulder to see if Adam and Pharrell picked up on it. She exhales in relief when they appear to be too busy with their own conversation to take notice of theirs.  
  
“I guess I know where _you_ stand…” He chuckles self-deprecatingly.  
  
She wants to slap herself for being so insensitive and she hates how wrong that came off just now. She’s not embarrassed to have been with him like that, but she is petrified she’s reading too much into what happened and she’s not ready to share her business with others until she’s sorted it out for herself.  
  
“Blake, I’m sorry…” She says softly, shaking her head. “That’s not what I…I’m not— “  
  
“Embarrassed?”

“No, god no.” She offers him a shy smile. “I just don’t know what any of this means I guess and I’m in a really messed up place right now. I shouldn’t be kissing anyone, let alone…”  
  
“Let alone?” Blake pushes, but she stays quiet.  
  
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea for me to get involved with anyone right now. I can’t see that doing any of us any good.”  
  
Blake looks down at his lap and seems to contemplate his next words. She wets her lips while leaning on her elbows to keep herself slightly upright.  
  
“It was good to see you have fun last night, Gwen.” Blake whispers while looking at her. “I like seeing you happy and confident. I’m not mad at you for kissing me and I hope you’re not mad I reciprocated.”  
  
“I’m not mad.” She whispers.  
  
“Good. I get what you’re saying by the way, both of our situations aren’t exactly easy. We should probably take things slow.”  
  
Gwen exhales deeply, relieved to hear they’re on the same page but simultaneously feeling a little disappointed by it as well.  
  
“That’s what I was thinking, yeah.”  
  
“Just…I don’t wanna stop spending time with you, especially since we’re all here. I won’t stay away because of what happened, Gwen.”  
  
His voice sounds way more confident than she is and it makes her feel unexpectedly more drawn to him. Their eyes lock again and she can’t help but smile a little when he stares at her so openly.  
  
“I don’t want you to stay away.” She admits.  
  
His eyes do a quick scan up and down her body and then he nods.  
  
“Glad we’re on the same page about that.”  
  
She breaks their gaze amid his teasing smile and lowers herself back down completely. Her back feels a bit sticky with sweat now after their conversation and the sun still heating her up from up high. She closes her eyes again and hears Blake’s faint chuckle as he gets up and joins Adam and Pharrell who are still sitting behind her.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
“Who feels like taking a swim and then warming up with some cocktails?”  
  
It’s Pharrell’s voice this time and Gwen must’ve dozed off on the deck for a little bit, because when she scans her surroundings again, the yacht is no longer moving and they’re floating around the most gorgeous area of water. There’s no land in sight and she suddenly feels a bit nervous about jumping off the boat in open water.  
  
Pharrell and Adam are already in their swim shorts and ready to dive in, while Blake sits comfortably on the yacht’s bench-seat.  
  
“I’ll just wait here till you guys are ready for the cocktail part of that plan.” The cowboy smirks.  
  
“Spoilsport.” Adam says and she watches at the taller guy flips him the bird.  
  
Gwen stands up slowly and realizes she pretty much sweated through her clothes by falling asleep in the sun like that. She’s lucky she thought of applying a bunch of sunscreen before boarding, so she at least won’t have to deal with sticky clothes and painful burns.  
  
She pulls the short tanktop over her head and shimmies out of her daisy dukes, leaving her in nothing but the skimpy bikini.  
  
A loud splashing sound arises when Pharrell and Adam decide not to wait on her and get acquainted with the water quickly. Gwen bites her lip and finds her feet moving towards Blake as she sees him already looking at her.  
  
“You’re really not going?” She asks, hoping to convince him otherwise.  
  
“I’m not much of a swimmer.” He answers, shaking his head. “I think I’m good here.”  
  
She pouts. “Are you gonna make me jump in alone?”  
  
Her hand moves to her back as she tries to adjust the string of her bikini top, realizing that it’s not on tightly enough for the impact she’s about to make from jumping of the rather high yacht. She presses her lips together in focus when Blake’s voice suddenly distracts her.  
  
“You need some help with that?” His voice is low and determined and she finds herself willingly accepting his offer. It’s too late to back down now as Blake gently manoeuvres himself behind her and replaces her perspiring fingers. His knuckles scrape down her bare back everytime he readjusts his grip on the two strings and she sucks in her breath sharply when he tugs to tighten it.  
  
“This good?” He asks, holding the strings together until she nods. He goes to tie them together and it feels like the motion takes him hours instead of seconds. She feels her body overheating by the slight touch he’s providing and the knowledge that he could just as easily have slid the small piece of fabric off her and pushed her into his chest.  
  
She knows he would never do that, but she’s almost embarrassed about how much she thinks she wouldn’t have disliked it.  
  
“Thank you.” She rasps hoarsely when he’s done, stepping away from his body and eying the cold water below her. She desperately needs to cool off.  
  
“Hey Gwen?”  
  
Her feet are already standing at the edge of the boat when she turns around to look at him.  
  
“Changed your mind about coming with?” She asks still a little short of breath.  
  
He shakes his head. “I just wanted to let you know how beautiful you are. It’s really quite ridiculous.”  
  
She doesn’t know how to respond to his compliment at all and feels her body overheating again. For a guy who wants to take it slow, he’s definitely generous with his compliments. Her lips curl into a tiny smile that’s half nerves and half teenage like excitement.  
  
“Is this your version of taking it slow?” She smirks.  
  
He shrugs.  
  
“I was raised to always be honest.”  
  
His stupid grin makes her want to kiss it off and the way he slowly undresses her with his eyes is nearly enough to make her combust. She needs to get off this boat and away from his alluring touches and stares. It’s the only way she can maintain a resemblance of control over the situation.  
  
And so she jumps and dives in.  



	6. Chapter 6

The sun was still scorching her skin. Everytime she moved just a fraction of an inch, she felt the slick sheen of perspiration on her back and legs. Submerging herself in the cold water just a few minutes ago had been nice as she finally felt like she could take some deep breaths. She was right back to sweating on the yacht’s deck now though and she learned quickly that no one can match Adam and Pharrell’s energy when they finally get going.

She heard a soft click and her eyes snap open under the sunglasses she just put on. The click was followed by slow squirt and she tenses as she recognizes the sound. Blake’s putting on sun screen and it takes every ounce in her being not to turn around and watch him do it.

“Here.” His scratchy whisper shakes her from thought and she swallows roughly. Where she didn’t move from her position on her back, she feels the plastic of the bottle softly tap against her upper arm.

She grasps at the bottle with lazy hands and looks surprised when he doesn’t let go.

“Are you gonna do it for me or something?” She chuckles, not even entertaining the thought that he actually just might.

“Wouldn’t want you to get sunburned out here.” He counters nonchalantly.

Her stomach spirals as his eyes do a quick scan of her body. His eyes linger at her stomach, bare legs and the top of her breast that are pushing out of the snug bikini top she’s wearing. She’s got the heat of the world pounding on her yet she can barely contain the heat she feels from his gaze.

Moments from opening her mouth in possible rebuttal, he cuts her off.

“I was wondering when you were gonna let me make good on that promise.” There’s a liquid pool being gently applied onto her bare shoulder and she’s caught off guard by the initial cold and then delicious warmth that comes from Blake’s hand spreading it. “Unless you’d rather do it yourself of course?”

His motions pause for a second and she almost groans at the loss of movement. She can feel some of the sunscreen dripping down her arm and she gasps when Blake’s finger is right there to catch it.

Her throat feels dry and her heart hammers, but she wants this. No matter how bad of an idea it is.

“You can do it.” She whispers.

His hands continue lathering the milky residue across her shoulder blades and arms, while all she can do is hold her breath.

“More?” He asks eventually and she knows he’s really asking her for permission to apply the lotion to other parts of her body too. Parts that might be harder to disguise as things _friends_ would do for each other. She shudders out an empty breath before nodding again.

She’s so grateful for Adam and Pharrell’s insatiable energy as she continues to hear the chatter coming from down the boat, the two man still in the water.

Blake moves himself down to sit beside her legs and she feels the cold cream splattering gently onto her thighs. Her stomach drops as his hands smooth the sunscreen all the way from her thighs to her ankles, his long arms reaching all the way without too much effort. She raises her legs slightly so her knees are peaked and her feet are planted firmly onto the deck. She can feel her body trembling slightly but somehow she manages to eliminate any wavering from her voice.

“You’re good at this.” She says. “It feels nice.”

She’s starting to really enjoy his touch, silently convincing herself they’re not crossing any lines here. That doesn’t last long because the moment she feels his hand latch onto her ankle all common sense goes out the window. There is that strength again, that firm masculine touch which up until now she didn’t realize how much she’d been craving.

As he starts to smooth the cream in firmly, she bites down on the inside of her cheek. His hand laps up all that’s left and smooths it across her other thigh. His touch is unforgiving and her legs part a bit involuntarily. When he traces the curve of her leg and smooths some of the cream just a little too close to her inner thigh, she lets out the breath she’s been holding.

“Sorry.” He murmurs, moving his hand up and back down towards her knee.

He finally squirts the last bit on his hands first before gently rubbing it across her toned stomach. Her muscles there tense as she feels his large palm so effortlessly smooth over her abs. She’s helpless to her body’s natural reactions to him and bites her lip again. He’s careful to avoid her cleavage and doesn’t dare to get too close to her breasts, but when his hand hits the underwire of her two-piece, she feels it all the same.

It’s not until his hand slips to the side a little and gently brushes her rib cage, that she jolts and slides her own hand across Blake’s bare knee. She digs her nails in there firmly, praying he picks up on her need for him to stop this. Her voice is shot by how affected she is and she needs Blake to stop touching her in order to get it back.

He chuckles but retreats his hands from her body and closes the lid on the bottle.

“All done.”

In contrast of his hands, his gaze remains on her and it won’t allow her heart rate to settle back down. She’s showing all the skin in the world, but it’s the expression on her face that he seems fixated on while he reads her like a book.

She’s grateful for her friends getting back on the boat and Blake’s immediately snapping back into his role.

“Took you guys forever.” He says while leaving her lonely and joining the two men on the main lounge area. “How about getting some drinks now?”

“You’re speaking my language as always.” Adam agrees.

Gwen can still feel the tingles in her body from when Blake was carefully feeling her up and she’s not nearly as skilled in playing it cool. She can hear his booming laughter coming from behind her as he listens to Adam rambling on about something and she’s almost a bit annoyed at how easy it seems for him to just fall back into the swing of things. She sits up and reaches for her tanktop laying around somewhere and pulls it swiftly over her head. She steps into her shorts next and slowly joins her group of friends in the back. Their tour guide offers to get them the drinks from below and they wait while indulging in friendly banter. Gwen hopes the rest of the group won’t be able to tell she’s being uncharacteristically quiet, but she knows Blake notices from the way he keeps looking over at her.

She watches as he runs a hand through his curls and sits against the white leather bench. Watching him find his footing around the group makes her realize how she’s not angry with him. She’s only a bit annoyed at the fact that their little moment got interrupted or for it to have even gotten started in the first place. It’s so much more than she thinks she’s ready for, yet she can’t seem to get her mind to think about anything else. She knows she shouldn’t be entertaining anything like what they’re doing right now, but it’s also the only thing that’s felt good in a very long time.

“A Miami Vice for the lady…” Gabriel says sweetly before handing her beautiful glass with a large chunk of pineapple hanging off the rim. “And a blue Hawaiian for the fellas.”

It’s the most basic thing ever but she does feel like alcohol is the only thing to loosen her up good on this trip, stripping her from everything that she holds on to while sober. It’s easier for her to banter with her friends without thinking about how she comes across when she’s a few drinks in. Maybe it’s just something she has to go through as an effect of her divorce. The constant wondering if she’s fun enough or if she’s ready to be social again. All those questions disappear after her second cocktail and today is no different.

The guilt slowly trickles out of her system too. All the sudden she feels good about having some fun and being so many miles away from the place she calls home. This is what she needs and she’s going to make the best of the situation while she’s here.

The boat is no longer just floating around and is roaring back into movement. The air is still as spotless as it was hours ago and the sun only seems to get hotter with time. Somewhere along their drinking escapades, she got rid of her tanktop again and sits on the yacht’s bench in nothing but her bikini top and daisy dukes. The guys sit around in nothing but their swim shorts except for Blake. Gwen can’t help but feel hopeless about that. She _wants_ to see him take it off.

The only time she’s been able to catch a glimpse was in his hotel room the other night, when she tried to save his shirt.

“Promise me we’ll go out for drinks with this group more often, even when we get back.” Adam says already slightly tipsy. His idea for not drinking today seemingly went out of the window as well.

“Don’t we always stay behind and have some drinks at the Voice?” Blake quips pointedly.

“I’m talking about outside of Universal Studios.”

“You guys always stay behind for drinks?” Gwen asks, sipping on her second rum concoction.

Adam shrugs and leans back against the leather bench. “Not always. You weren’t able to stay behind much on the last season you were on because of— “

“The baby…” Gwen smiles, missing her angel face again.

Blake smiles. “How is the little guy doing?”

Gwen grins at him sweetly, thankful he knew to ask. She doesn’t want to be _that_ mom who just can’t shut up about her kids while being out with her friends, but if Blake’s offering it up himself, who is she to deny him?

“He’s the sweetest baby.” Gwen gushes with a smile. “He’s still so young he doesn’t really understand what’s happening and that’s a good thing.”

“I can’t imagine going through this media frenzy with three kids. If you ever need any of us for anything, you know where to find me.” Adam offers sweetly.

“Thank you.” Gwen smiles. “I’m glad to be here right now and not have to think about the way they’re smearing my name. I can’t spend another second thinking about what they'll write about me.”

“It will all pass, Gwennie. It has to.” Pharrell urges. “The truth always comes out and there’s no denying your positive spirit. That will always be seen by people no matter how horrible the smear campaign.”

Blake smiles humbly while listening to Pharrell’s words and nods at her. “I second that.”

“Thank you guys, that’s really sweet.”

“We’ve got your back.” Adam affirms.

She runs her hands up and down her legs nervously, a bit taken aback by all the sweet words and feeling a bit drained at the subject of the conversation. It’s still weird to think about herself as a divorced woman and knowing it’s real and having people comment on it, makes her feel a little dazed. She’s beyond grateful for her friend’s support though and feels her eyes well up a bit.

“And it’s an amazing thing to feel.” She says softly. “I haven’t been single in twenty years and to know all of that just fell away in an instant makes me feel sort of lonely. I’m happy to have you guys.”

She doesn’t know where that just came from and she’s looking at them a bit mortified when she realizes what she just said. She doesn’t want to imply that she’s only grateful for them because she’s lonely and she doesn’t want them to think she can’t be alone either. Everything about her words she wishes she could take back. Especially when Blake looks at her with sorry eyes.

“Tell me about it.” He says softly, searching for her eyes. “I know all about that feeling, trust me. I’m here if you ever wanna talk about it some more.”

She wants to cry and tell him how grateful she is, but after all that’s transpired between them, she suddenly feels a bit weird about acting too excitedly about spending time with him.

“Thank you.” She whispers.

The light blue sky had turned a darker shade but the weather stayed soft and gentle either way. A small yawn escapes her mouth as she feels a bit sleepy from being on the water all day and slowly sipping on a decent amount of cocktails. She was getting lost in the amazing drinks and even better conversation and she was pained when realizing they were close to their shoreline. She didn’t want this moment to end at all, feeling perfectly content with life as it was today.

An hour later, everyone had gone back to their hotel rooms to shower and get ready for dinner. Gwen had put on loose jeans and pulled her dried hair in another ponytail. She kept her make-up light as she reapplied it and went for a simple black shirt to cover her pink bra.

She couldn’t help but stare at Blake a little too much during dinner. He told her about how some of his old jeans started fitting him again and how most of his new shirts were becoming too baggy to properly wear. His face is much slimmer than she remembers it being only a year prior and his hair was a curly mess on top of his head. He looked handsome as always but there was a difference in the way he carried himself now. She knows most of his physical changes can be attributed to his divorce, so it’s hard to feel good about it. She can’t deny he looks good though and tucked away at this resort, she can do nothing but let her eyes wander over the alluring sight that is Blake Shelton. She’s felt alone and unloved for so many years, she thinks some of her attraction to Blake is solely a defence mechanism, something to help her cope with the loss of her marriage. She’s sure Blake’s feelings for her are mostly connected to his feeling of incapability to hold on to any love and the lack of affection he’s felt during his own relationship with his ex-wife. Both have never truly had that love that felt like home and it was almost pathetic how they seemed to be seeking that with each other. It only served as more proof that what they were starting to do was a bad idea. As if she needed any more reasons to frown upon the newly formed connection.

She picked at the vegetarian bowl in front of her, but couldn’t quite get her appetite to make an appearance. She was too busy thinking about everything that had transpired the last few days and the way a certain cowboy made her feel. It took everything in her not to crawl out of her skin while sitting at the large dinner table with him. Though she was surrounded by all their friends, somehow she felt like it was just them two whenever he looked at her. Her heart was twitching against her chest, going over everything that had occurred between them on the boat. From the teasing touches when he was tying the strings of her bikini together to the way he so erotically covered her body with sunscreen. If she could, she would let go of all the baggage from the last twenty years of her life and dive into this dangerous and unfamiliar territory with Blake. But she couldn’t do that and the weight of that realization is so heavy, it causes her whole body to ache.

The breeze from the outside air lifts the soft blonde strands of her hair into her face, which she brushes away with a delicate hand. The sea is their backdrop as they have dinner outside on the fancy terrace that’s build high up the resort.

Their waitress, a young and gorgeous looking brunette, makes her final rounds and fills up their glasses after bringing the desserts. Blake’s sitting on her left, picking at the delicious chocolate cake on his plate. Adam is chatting to her on her right and she’s almost distracted enough to not notice the way the younger girl lingers just a tad too long at Blake’s side of the table.

“…. We have a quite expensive bottle of red label Shiraz; it fits nicely with your dessert.” The waitress babbles on excitedly.

“…. I don’t know nothing about wines…. what did you say your name was again?”

“…. Adriana.”

“Well Adriana, a _Shirash_ wine sounds awesome.

”Gwen couldn’t help but grin a little at hearing Blake butcher the name but she remained turned to Adam, not wanting to come across as uninterested in whatever he had to say.

“…. Shiraz.” Adriana giggles, and Gwen catches the way her hand briefly touches Blake shoulder after she corrects him. “It’s okay, you’re cute. One Shiraz wine coming up, anything else I can get you?”

She realizes how ridiculous and unfounded her jealousy is, but she can’t help it. She feels like she’s moved solely by impulse when it comes to him and everything in her tells her she wants to get him away from _Adriana_ as quickly as possible.

“Cute, huh?” Blake smirks, and oh how she wants to rip him a new one for blatantly going along with the girl’s flirtation. “No, one glass of red is perfect. Thank you.”

The waitress nods cutely and finally leaves their table, leaving Gwen still listening to Adam’s story but secretly boiling from the inside.

The group drinks and chats freely for about an hour longer, with their ocean view table and gentle breeze making it so they’re not bothered by the still very high temperature.

When it’s time for everybody to go their separate ways, she somehow finds herself being the last to say her goodbyes. She can’t help but wonder if he does it on purpose, always making sure to be the one staying behind with her. Blake looks sheepishly at her when they’re left alone, Adam, Carson and Pharrell all headed to their rooms already.

Shifting from one foot to the other, she finally breaks the silence.

“I’m gonna head back, it was nice seeing you today Blake.”

Her feet make a frantic attempt to get away from him, but Blake’s soft voice stops her in her tracks. She thought for a second about ignoring him, but she doesn’t want to leave things on a bad note. She’s not that type of person, besides, technically he did nothing wrong.

“Gwen, wait…” She turns around despite not wanting to and waits. “I had a great time with you today. I know it’s quite late but I was hoping we could spend some more time together.”

She parts her glossy pink lips and weighs her words.

“Blake…” She sighs.

“We can hang in my room for a bit, if you’d like? Nothing fancy, just hang out and talk. Maybe have a few more drinks.”

She turns to look at the ocean, leaning against the railing a few steps further before briskly turning around to face him. She knows it’s gonna be awkward but it’s best to just rip the band aid off now before more people would get hurt.

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.” She inhales sharply and continues. “I know we said we weren’t gonna let anything change how much we hang out, but I think we need to be more cautious. It’s obvious where this thing is heading and I don’t think we should even be putting ourselves through it.”

Blake looks at her full of surprise. “Gwen, what happened between now and a few hours ago? I thought we were good.”

“We are.” She replies softly. “We’re fine. I just don’t think we should take it any further.”

“I wasn’t asking you to come back to my room to hook up, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He looks at her a bit panicked. “God Gwen, that’s not at all what I meant.”

“I know that.” She didn’t know it for sure, but she had a feeling he wouldn’t push her that far, that fast. “But hanging out is only gonna lead to wanting more.”

He nods, unable to see the negative in that statement.

“What’s wrong with that?” He asks.

“Everything.” She breathes.

“I don’t understand.”

“You _do_ know that you don’t have to hang out with me to feel less lonely, right?” She chuckles, staring right at him. “There are like, a thousand girls here who would kill to spend a night with you. I bet if you went back in there and asked for our waitress, you could get a real dirty night out of that one.”

He turns his head to side, visibly shocked.

“Gwen, that’s not…. I’m not looking for that.”

“I can’t give you what you’re looking for either.”

It’s crazy how fast the conversation got away from her, their fragile relationship balancing on a thin rope and right now, their odds weren’t looking too good.

“I don’t know what happened.” He says softly, making Gwen’s heart seriously ache. “Can we at least sit down somewhere a bit more private and just talk? Please Gwen, I don’t wanna leave things like this.”

She wants to take him up on his offer so bad, but she knows herself. She can’t trust herself around him and spending time with him in private will cause all her decisions to be made by impulse, rather than by common sense.

“I can’t. I promised to call my kids tonight.” She lies.

“ _Oh_.” Blake murmurs awkwardly, scratching his head. “This late?”

She nods. “They’re staying up.”

The lie is too obvious and she wishes the ground could just open up and her swallow her. Blake decides not to press her on it.

“Call your kids, Gwen.” He smiles briefly. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you from them.”

His compliance only makes her feel worse but she nods regardless.

She walks back to her hotel room alone this time, missing the usual goodbyes they speak at each other’s doors. The way she misses that small routine of theirs that had quickly become sacred to her, plagues her unlike anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of angst never hurt nobody, right?


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one to make up for a little bit of angst in the last chapter <3

Her kids had been tired when she called, barely able to keep their eyes open. Her youngest was already asleep for a few hours, so she only got to see Kingston and Zuma for a fleeting moment. Guilt gnawed at her quickly when she took in their tired faces and she begged her mom to tuck them in and let them sleep. It had helped to see them, even for the short amount of time, as it took her mind off the awkward encounter with Blake. She has no idea how to get through the rest of the vacation with him right there and they haven’t even really done anything yet. 

Her feet hit the clean ground of her hotel suite as she saunters over to the mini fridge. Her head is bowed as she grabs a bottle of mineral water and a lock of blonde falls in front of her eyes rebelliously. She sits on the edge of bed and brings the bottle to her lips, taking a few large sips. The alcohol she’d consumed tonight had left her feeling parched and not at all hydrated. Her eyes feel heavy, though she doesn’t know if that’s because of fatigue or stress. 

Turning the nightlight off, she’s left in complete and utter darkness, her eyes finally feeling less sensitive as they no longer have to adjust to light in the room. 

Her head has barely hit the pillow when two knocks on her door startle her. There is no legitimate reason for anyone to show up at her door this late and she could only think of one person bold enough to do it. 

The thought has her heart hammering in her throat, but she rises to her feet quickly and straightens her back before opening the door. 

She’s in her lace nightgown, her hair in disarray and her cleavage almost more revealing than it’s been in all her bikinis. She suddenly feels nervous to stand in front of him like this. 

She lets out a breath, eyes locking while both of them try to gauge each other’s mindset. Blake must’ve sensed her relief through all of that fear, because his hand tilts her head upwards and crashes their lips together. 

She’s shocked but that doesn’t stop her from kissing him back with the same kind of desire. He takes her lower lip between his teeth and sucks before kissing her again. They’ve kissed before but _this_ was a new type of intensity. She moves against him, his t-shirt rubbing against the delicate material of her lace and satin. He grasps her cheek more firmly and slides his tongue between her lips. 

She moans as if surprised by the sudden escalation and increased desperation coming from him, but the truth is she’s been way too deprived of this kind of touching. 

He runs a free hand down her bare back all the way to the base of her spine before moving up again. A few waves of silence pass between them when only slick kisses and breathy exhales are heard. 

The clumsiness of their first kiss together is nowhere to be found with this one. 

His hand is still holding her close to his body when their kisses die down and they’re left with nothing but an awkward silence. She can see his gaze dropping down to her swollen mouth, but he says nothing. 

She almost wishes he would let go of her so she could turn around and no longer be the recipient of his stare.

His finger brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and lingers briefly against the shell. She swallows roughly before looking up at him. 

“What was that for?” She whispers, feeling the slick of his mouth coating her lips still.

He shakes his head while his hand continues to lay flat against the base of her spine. 

“The way you left....I couldn’t let that be the end of things.”

In a perfect world, his words would be enough to bring them together, but her world is nowhere near perfect and the thought of allowing him to infiltrate her life like that makes her want to scream and run for the hills.

“We just kissed once.” She says softly, trying to downplay what’s going on between them.

“Twice now.” Blake smirks.

“Please don’t joke about this.” She whispers. “It’s not funny.”

His dimples pop and she realizes his smirk isn’t lessening. “I’m not trying to be funny. I’m trying to charm you.”

She’s taken aback by his honesty and has not a single reply ready for him.

“This is the part where you say it’s working.” He adds with a soft wink.

She presses her eyes closed, a pit of emotions gathering in her chest and throat.

“It shouldn’t be.” She whispers almost too quietly for him to hear, but he does anyway. 

“I thought about everything you said.” Blake says softly, lifting her chin up again. “I have the same fears, the same hesitations, so I know what you’re feeling. The thing is, when I’m around you, all that just fades away for a second and I’m not scared or vulnerable. I just feel understood and safe.”

The admission goes paired with growing moisture in his eyes and though it slightly counteracts his words, it’s the most powerful thing to watch him open up to her like this. 

Perhaps he really does feel less vulnerable with her. Maybe he finally knows what it feels like to get emotional in front of someone and _not_ feel a single ounce of shame for it. 

Without thinking, she pulls him further into the room by his hand and watches the door close behind them. She doesn’t know what to do now, but she wasn’t gonna let him stand outside any longer. She wants to take care of him, as much as that juxtapositions what she said earlier tonight.

“I’m sorry for hurting you.” She says finally, the apology laying on the tip of her tongue ever since their last conversation. “I’m just so broken and insecure, Blake. I don’t know what I’m doing here and I don’t want my trauma to hurt an equally traumatized person even more.”

“You won’t. I don’t believe you could.”

“Why did you come here?” She whispers.

He smiles peacefully, his hand placed gently on her upper back. It’s ironic how he’s already kissed the hell out of her but keeps his hands so safely and respectfully on her body without wandering.

“To tell you what I just did.” He says. “To tell you that I would like the opportunity to get to know you better, Gwen. Don’t pull away from me just yet.”

She’s seen people be brave before but something about his bravery in this moment sparks such a guttural response from her. She can’t imagine having to do what he just did, lay his cards out on the table like that. Her gut churns at the sheer thought of it and she’s eternally grateful for Blake taking on that task. He must’ve sensed that she couldn’t.

“Come here.” She murmurs, leading him towards the bed as she catches the slight rise of his eyebrow. “Don’t get any funny ideas cowboy.”

She’d be lying if she said the idea didn’t cross her mind but she is no way ready to go there with him tonight. Instead she lays down on her side and urges Blake to do the same. She wants to be closer to him, maybe even snuggle up to him. She just hopes he’ll be able to grant her that wish without pushing for anything more. She hadn’t known many men who would do that for her in the past.

He studies her every move before patting the covers and insinuating she pulls them down and tucks herself in. She wonders about how comfortable he is laying on top of the sheets in his jeans and t-shirt but his assuring smile eases that worry quickly. She snuggles back into the warm bed that’s been good to her so far and smiles deeply when he opens his arms for her to scoot closer. Her head lowers onto his chest and she can hear his gentle heartbeat in her ear.

She’s never been this close to him before and it feels so much more intimate than any sexual act could’ve been.

Their rooms are so close to the beach, you can hear the crashing of the waves at night if you’re quiet enough and she closes her eyes to soak in the entire moment. Blake’s fingers trail up and down her bare arms but not to the point where it distracts her. It adds to the peaceful surroundings they’re creating right here in her hotel room. The whole world could demolish and she’d only have eyes for Blake holding her like this.

“How were the kids?”

Gwen looks up to find his eyes and immediately finds comfort in the intense blue. Even in the dark he manages to entice her. She bites her lip and fights the conflicting emotions and the surprise of him even asking.

“They’re good, they were just tired.” She says. “I really did call them.”

The need to defend herself might’ve insinuated the opposite, but she couldn’t help it. It had been so obvious she used them as an excuse earlier and there’s no way Blake didn’t notice.

He chuckles. “That’s why I was askin’. I knew you wouldn’t lie about calling them.”

She closes her eyes again. “I miss them but I’m glad to see them doing so well. I almost feel like they’re doing better now I’m gone.”

“Hey.” He says, brushing a strand of hair behind her ears. “Don’t sell yourself short like that, Gwen. You’re an amazing mom. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see that.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get all _victimy_ on you, I bet that’s super attractive.” She chuckles in embarrassment.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” He waits a few beats. “And you’re always attractive to me.. and to basically every other living organism in this world.”

She laughs against his chest. “Thank you for saying that.”

“I mean it. You could wear a potato sack or garbage bag and make it fashion. I swear, something ain’t right with that.”

“Now I really know you’re pushing it.” Gwen says, though she can’t hide the huge smile from plastering all over her face.

“Are you sure?”

“Positive. Stop lying to me before I get angry.”

“Angry?” He smirks. “Honey, you’re grinning like a possum eating a sweet tater. You love it.”

Gwen purses her lips and frowns before letting out a guttural laugh. She looks up at him with her mouth slightly agape and her brows still frowned. “Who even _says_ that?”

“Well slap my head and call me silly. I thought everyone did.” He replies, gauging her every reaction.

Without even realizing it, he had completely gotten her mind off the negative thoughts that were clouding there before. She nuzzles her head further into his chest and giggles.

“You thought wrong, no one uses those terms.”

His hand softly kneads her back. “They do where I’m from.”

“You should take me there sometime, let me hear those phrases in abundance.”

The terror of what she just suggested creeps up on her quickly and she knows he can feel the way she’s tensing against him. His hand presses down on her just a tad more firmly.

“I would love to.” He says casually. “All you ever have to do is call.”

Gwen feels some of the tension ebbing away as he answers her so perfectly. His hold on her remains firm but gentle, a good representation of who he is.

“Are you sure you’re comfortable?” She asks, referring to his position on her bed.

“This is perfect.” He drawls lowly.

She inhales, feeling the tremors of exhaustion ripple through her and her eyelids growing heavy. She tries to muffle her yawn with her hand and Blake chuckles. “If you want to go to sleep, that’s fine. Can I keep holding you like this?”

His question hits her harder than expected. She never felt like she was good enough company to be around, let alone when there’s no real payoff. Blake wants to hold her without expecting anything in return and she feels herself getting emotional.

“Yes you can.” She whispers groggily. “I would really like that, actually.”

The silence that takes over the room feels perfect, her breathing evening out.

A few hours ago she thought she had messed up with Blake royally, but now there’s newfound hope gathering in her heart. Maybe they can be broken together, maybe they can make each other feel a little less horrible about the events that occurred in their lives. If Blake’s willing to try, then so is she.

She wakes with a soft grunt, her hand covering her eyes to avoid the inevitable. It takes her a few seconds to realize why she’s waking up and she’s immediately reaching out for him.

“Shit, sorry darling.” Blake whispers against the top of her head, before laying her back down and caressing her cheek. “I didn’t mean to wake ya.”

“Where are you going?” She asks sleepily, her head no longer resting against his chest.

“It’s 7 am. I thought I’d go back to my room and clean myself up a bit. I didn’t think you’d want to risk them seeing me come out of your room.”

She smiles with her eyes closed, but feels strangely heavy about being left alone by him. “Thank you, Blake. For all that you did last night.”

He chuckles. “I didn’t do anything.”

“You held me all night and asked nothing in return.” She whispers hoarsely. “No one has ever done that for me before.”

She opens her eyes when his lips land on her cheek, his hair a curly mess.

“That’s a shame.” He says genuinely, lingering against her cheek for a moment. “I would love to hold you a few more times while we’re here.”

She reaches out for him and ends up grasping the hem of his shirt, her hands curling up in small fists as she holds the fabric between her fingers. “You’re so sweet, cowboy.”

He laughs quietly. “Keep thinking that, okay?”

“Keep being nice.” She scolds him playfully.

“Yes, ma’am.”

He pulls away from her and readjusts his shirt with a smile. He looks at her with so much care it’s surreal and her heart skips a beat when he bites his lip at her. She has heat running through her veins and gets lost in the sensation until he reaches the door.

“Blake, last night was really nice but things won’t be weird now, right?”

She couldn’t help but worry about how things were gonna be between them today, when surrounded by all their friends and colleagues. Something like falling asleep in each other’s arms might be hard to come back from.

“How about we don’t come back from it?” He smiles and she didn’t even realize she said all that stuff out loud. “We can just be friends who sometimes like to fall asleep next to each other.”

“And kiss?”

He chuckles. “And kiss.”

She nods while her eyes droop again, her head nuzzling her pillow. “Okay.”

“See you in a little bit, sweetheart.”

He closes the door behind her as she utilizes the last two hours of sleep she’s gonna get.

When they step out of the restaurant she realizes the sun is setting on the horizon and for the first time since coming here, the air feels windy and cold. Her feet dig into the sand as they walk as a group towards the sea, finishing the last of their drinks with ocean view. The day had sort of gotten away from them as they spent it sunbathing and swimming, sipping on cocktails all throughout the day. She had been drinking more in the last six days she’s been here, than she’s done in the last four years, but she has zero regrets so far. She doesn’t mind it when Blake sits down so closely to her in the sand their shoulders touch and she even manages to ignore Adam’s poignant stare. It’s becoming clear to her that their attraction for each other is palpable to all her friends here, but it’s nearly impossible to play it cool when the tall cowboy is around. Blake doesn’t seem to care much for diligence when it comes to them and didn’t shy away from stealing innocent touches throughout the day and putting an arm on her chair during dinner. Part of her still freaks out whenever he shows his care for her openly, but there’s so much of that she’s missed throughout the years. It feels wrong now to take it for granted, even when it terrifies her. She watches as the sun disappears completely and the sky has taken on it’s clear dark colour. She nips at the rim of her tequila cocktail and savours the sweet and rich taste of it.

“So….” Adam says with a sparkle in his eyes that slightly scares Gwen. “Are we finally gonna address the elephant in the room or what?”

It’s clear that he’s addressing both her and Blake and she relies solely on the cowboy’s reply as she finds herself at a loss for words. She knows what’s coming before her friend delivers the question and she feels her cheeks reddening on the spot. There’s no way she’s _not_ gonna give them away.

“What’s going on between you two?”

Gwen’s eyes go from Blake’s perched up frame to Pharrell and Carson sitting a few feet away. Even though all of these guys have been friends of hers for a while, she doesn’t think she’s ready to name whatever it is that’s been going on between her and Blake.

“What are you talking about?” She stammers.

“Come on.” Adam continues. “Blake’s been giving you googly eyes ever since we got here, you’re having secret conversations when the rest of us leave, not to mention the way he’s been basically _claiming_ you all during dinner. Something happening here?”

Gwen wishes the sand would open up and swallow her whole. She feels like a teenager who just got busted making out by her parents.

“You always gotta make it awkward man, don’t you?” Blake chuckles, his voice sounding much steadier than she looks. “Sorry to burst your little fantasy but Gwen and I are actually just friends. Not that it’s any of your business of course.”

Adam gives his friend a pointed look. “Don’t think so Sasquatch, you’ve been my friend for years. If you’re dating one of my rock and roll idols you best believe I’ll make it my business.”

Gwen swallows roughly, the conversation putting her on serious edge and Blake seems to notice the way her body tensed up beside him.

“We’re not dating.” Blake says calmly, letting the words roll of his tongue like they’re the most normal thing in the world. “And you need to lay off the booze, rockstar.”

Adam snorts. “I’m not even close to drunk.”

“Even worse.” Blake smirks. “That means you’re this annoying all by yourself.”

Adam flips him off and though the moment seems to be over, Gwen still can’t quite relax. She knew their flirting wasn’t very subtle and the many looks they’ve shared over the days are hard to pass off as friendly, but she’s so not ready for their heating friendship to become the subject of conversation. Especially not around her friends who also happen to be her peers. One of the worst things about this whole media circus around her divorce is the way the press won’t give females the opportunity to just come back with their music. Her personal life will overshadow anything she does right now, which makes creating art and releasing it both more crucial and more painful. She doesn’t want to be talked about because of her relationships or lack thereof. All she wants is for this time around her close friends and peers, to not be about who she’s supposedly dating. She’ll have enough of that when she gets back home.

She looks up at the sky, trying to fight off the chill of the evening and the discomfort of the earlier conversation. She flinches slightly when she feels a heavy fabric being draped across her shoulders. She finds Blake sweetly looking at her as he covers her with his jacket. They’d looked at him sideways when he decided to bring it but it turns out the cowboy was right. They would indeed need them later. Gwen smiles gratefully and holds the jacket tightly around her with her hands.

“Thank you.” She whispers.

“Not a problem.” He smiles.

Adam and Blake share another look but something about Blake’s gaze must’ve told him to drop it, because he doesn’t make a sound and instead finishes the rest of his cocktail.

She’s about to let out a huge sigh of relief when her phone starts ringing, her screen display showing it’s her mother. Gwen stands up while digging her feet even deeper into the sand and excuses herself promptly.

“Sorry guys, I gotta take this.”

She hurries off to a part of the beach that’s empty and far enough away from the guys to give her some privacy. She holds the phone to her and ear and mindlessly wanders towards the cemented strip above the beach.

“Mom, is everything alright?”

The soft and calm voice of her mother soothes down the other end of the line and eases some of her worst worries.

“Don’t worry Gwennie, nothing’s wrong. Pollo is just having a bit of a hard time tonight, he keeps waking up and crying for you.”

The words physically pain her to hear, her eyes quickly filling with tears.

“I haven’t been away from him for so many consecutive days.” Gwen whispers, whisking away a tear from her cheek. “Is he still up?”

“He just woke up after we tucked him in about two hours ago.”

“Let me talk to him.” She says softly, leaning against the hard wall of the beach bar. She bites her lip to keep from sobbing when Apollo’s sad and tired voice reaches her.

It takes her a few minutes to get him to stop crying and a few attempts at trying to explain to him how much longer she’ll be gone for. By the end of their conversation, her youngest can’t stop yawning for even a few seconds and Gwen smiles softly to herself.

Her mother takes over the phone from her baby boy and sighs into the device.

“Sweetheart, I know this is tough on you but please promise me you’ll continue to enjoy your stay there. You deserve this getaway.”

Gwen sniffles, her heart beating painfully fast against her chest.

“Are you sure they’re able to handle this? It’s been so soon after everything happened. They need me.”

“They do need you, but they’re not gonna die from not seeing you for two weeks, Gwen. These kids are strong and resilient and they’ll be there when you get back. They’ll be fine.”

“Can you just go give Zuma and Kingston a kiss for me right now? I miss them all so much, will you tell them that too?”

“I will tell them. Now go back to your friends, Gwen. Your dad and I got it covered here.”

The guilt is heavy to carry but she forces out a somewhat steady response. Deep down, she knows her mother is right. She needs this time away from everything to recharge and find some stability before she’s thrown back into her everyday life.

“Goodnight mom.”

She’s about to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from sobbing when Blake’s voice makes her reconsider.

“Everything alright, Gwen?”

She hadn’t even noticed him walking up to her and she looks around frantically to see if it’s just him who came to check on her. When she’s positive he’s the only one who walked up the beach to her, she lets out a heavy breath and shakes her head.

“Apollo couldn’t sleep, he was missing me too badly.” She whispers, looking down at her feet. “It’s just so hard being away from them right now. I’m sorry, I probably look a mess.” She wipes at her face and makes a disgusted face at the amount of tears that pour down her cheeks.

“Gwen, there’s no reason for you to hide your emotions from me.” He says sweetly. “I might not know much about parenthood, but I’ve seen you with them plenty of times and I know how much you love them. I applaud you for even coming on this trip. I mean it, Gwen.”

“Thanks.” She replies hoarsely, looking up at his clear blue eyes.

“You gotta remember what you’re doing it for, darling. No one is gonna benefit from you working yourself to the bone and not allowing yourself to have any form of relaxation. You’re just gonna come back from this trip more energized and ready to continue to be the best mom.”

She runs a hand through her hair and chuckles. “Why do you always know just what to say? Like seriously, who _are_ you?”

His grin is way too attractive for his own good and she dries the last of her tears.

“Our friends back on the beach think I’m a fool apparently. I just told them I was gonna find you to get my jacket back in case you weren’t coming back tonight.”

“You would’ve gotten it back tomorrow.” She quips.

“ _A fool_.” Blake says matter of factly as she makes his point.

Gwen laughs. “This is why Adam’s onto us.”

“I can’t say I care too much. But I know it stresses you out, so you don’t have to worry about me. I’m not gonna tell anyone about anything until there’s something official to tell. Even then, even _if_ , I’d wait till you’re ready.”

She smiles softly. “I know you will. Thank you for handling that earlier, I just kind of froze and you totally saved me from even more awkward questions.”

Blake’s hand reaches out to touch a strand of her hair and tucks it behind her ear. His thumb lingers faintly against her cheek.

“No more tears, Gwen. You’re an amazing mother, an amazing friend. It’s about time you start to believe that.”

She takes a moment to take in his dimpled face, his soft smile making her feel like she’s the only one left on Earth, all her problems vanishing with it. His scruffy face make her fingers itch to touch him and his white shirt is fitting him exceptionally nice.

She takes one last look around them before realizing they’re completely out of view from everyone on the beach, the wall from the beach bar like a fortress around them.

She presses herself firmly against him, her arms going around his neck as she embraces him so tightly she’s scared she’ll hurt him. Her hips pull flush against his and his soft gasp against her neck sends goosebumps down her spine. He holds her just as close, swaying them a little.

“Thank you for all of that.” She whispers, wishing she had the courage to do more. “You don’t know how badly I needed to hear those words.”

He pulls away slightly, his hand cupping the side of her cheek gently. “Yeah I do.”

She bites her lip, her eyes straying to his mouth and she licks her lips involuntarily. He’s so close and all she’d have to do is—

Before she can even finish that thought, he’s bringing their mouths together and uses his free hand to pull her hips into him. She gasps when he nudges her lips open, nipping at her lower lip before smoothing it over with his tongue. The way he kisses is much like the way he sings, strong and confident. She braces herself against his arms when he gently pushes her backwards until her back collides with the wall behind her.

His mouth trails down against her ear, his voice dragging with emotion so thick it completely betrays how much this moment means to him.

“I couldn’t help myself.”

“I…I don’t mind.” She whispers softly as she moves back a little and catches his gaze. “Do you want your jacket back?”

Blake’s eyes widen, sporting a small smile. “What?”

“I’m sorry.” She laughs quietly under her breath.” I’m getting nervous.”

“Why?”

She bites her lip again, her eyes trailing to his swollen mouth. “Cause you’re looking at me like _that_ and it makes me feel like I’m back in high school.”

He chuckles. “Is that a good thing?”

She nods, but before she can verbally affirm it as well, he’s pressing his mouth against hers again. Silence invades their moment with nothing but the backdrop of the ocean as her tongue dips languidly into his mouth. He exhales into her kiss and groans, causing Gwen’s hips to buck up at him. It’s risky enough to do this with their friends so close by, but it’s even crazier to think she doesn’t want to stop this at all. She’ll be relying on Blake’s restraint later to put a stop to this.

She lets out a breath as his body backs up off her a little. She can feel his eyes on her as he plants his hands against the wall, parallel to her head. Her heart is thumping wildly as she reaches for his chest and draws him closer. His chin bumps against her forehead as he chuckles at her desperation. She feels his heavy exhale against her hairline, lips scraping across her forehead before he lightly kisses her.

“I know we can’t do this right here, but I really want to make out with you some more.” He whispers as his thumbs hook into the belt loops of her shorts.

She groans. “You could come to my room later.”

He smiles. “You sure that’s a good idea?”

“Fuck, probably not.” She shakes her head, knowing that with how she’s feeling right now she’ll probably go too fast. “But I kind of don’t care.”

He nips at her lips again and laughs. “Down girl, we’ve got all the time in the world for that.”

She swallows roughly. “Do we?”

He hums. “Damn right we do. How about you sleep on it and if you still feel like it tomorrow, we might be able to arrange one of our late night beach walks. _Alone_.”

A chill runs down her spine at Blake’s low voice and even though she can still feel herself heating up behind the material of her clothes, she knows taking it slow is probably the right thing to do. Especially after the emotional night she had. She’s touched by how Blake seems to know that too.

“Okay.”

“We should probably…”

“Head back.” She says regretfully, sighing at the loss of contact when he steps away from her.

They start walking back to the beach when Gwen’s hand lands on his bicep and stops him. “You should probably take the jacket now. To make your excuse at least make _some_ sense.”

She starts taking the piece of fabric off, but Blake shakes his head stubbornly. His hand slides it back up her shoulders and squeezes.

“Keep it on. I like watching you wear my clothes.”

She bites her lip hard.

“But Adam— “

“I don’t care.” Blake smirks, continuing to walk. “Let him squirm.”


	8. Chapter 8

They’ve been at the resort for exactly one week and this was the first day the whole group didn’t plan on spending the whole day together. While Adam and Pharrell were hell bend on hitting the town together and see some downtown activities, Blake and Carson were enticed by the idea of going deep see fishing on a charter.

Though Gwen came here for distraction, she can’t deny how good it sounds to be able to lay on the beach alone today with no one there to be social for. She fumbles into the large beach bag and retrieves the half empty bottle of sunscreen to apply to her body. She can’t help but think about Blake’s hands and how they felt as they covered her legs and stomach and applied the cream for her. It’s definitely not as enjoyable doing it herself, but at least the motion doesn’t take her breath away.

She looks out at the endless ocean and pretends her worries could float away with each rolling wave. A smile tugs at her mouth every time she sees a boat in the far distance, a misplaced feeling telling her that one of them could be the one that’s housing Blake.

She closes her eyes and focuses on the sun spreading heat all over her body, a slick line of perspiration forming right where her bikini top meets her breasts. She breathes in silence, the sudden solitude of being here alone giving her too much time to think.

Her brain goes over every possible obstacle and she gnaws on her lip when her thoughts inevitably move to Blake. She tries not to panic about how she’s starting to have genuine feelings for the cowboy, or how she’s interested in a man who’s been married twice and couldn’t make it work both times. She tries not to think about how easy it was for him to flirt with their waitress and how she’s once again falling for a much-desired man, who will have a line of competition right there waiting for her. And then there’s the media frenzy that surrounds him as well. If she thought going through a high-profile divorce would send the public into a tailspin, she doesn’t even want to think about what would happen if these two high profile divorcees linked up and decided to hook up.

Hours go by where she alternates between sunbathing and pulling her stool up so she can spend some time reading and getting lost in a reality that’s not hers. She takes her sweet time relaxing and doesn’t check her phone once. She doesn’t know how much time has passed by the time she’s desperately craving a drink from the bar behind her. Her feet move slowly and she steps back into her shorts and shudders when her small tanktop hits her perspiring chest.

She’s sat down for less than two minutes when an unfamiliar voice speaks to her.

“Don’t mind my boldness, but would you be so generous to let me buy you a drink?” Gwen’s head turns to the right, a tan stranger with sun kissed skin beaming down at her. He holds his hand out to her before she can even answer his first question. “My name is Charlie.”

She came here to catch a break from the sun and get herself an alcoholic refreshment. What she didn’t come here to do was flirt with a stranger. Someone who wasn’t Blake. Even though things were far from serious between her and the cowboy, she felt this strange connection to him that made it feel like she was doing something wrong by even taking Charlie’s hand to shake it.

“Nice to meet you.” She replies kindly. “And I’m sorry, I’m afraid I already bought my own.”

Just then, the bartender slides her gin and tonic towards her.

Charlie smiles and shrugs. “Guess I was too late. Mind if I keep you company for a bit?”

She bites her lip, looking out over the beach and back to the bar. She considers rejecting him again and walking back to where she came from, lying down and ignoring the burn from the outside air and the conflicting feelings coming from the inside. But all her friends were off doing something fun and not thinking about the troubles of their everyday lives, so why should she be robbed of that pleasure.

She decides not to dwell on something she can’t fix right in this moment and turns her attention back to the man next to her. He’s slightly hunched over the bar while twirling his glass elegantly around, the ice cubes making a funny sound as they collide repeatedly.

“Sure.”

“Great. Are you okay, Gwen?”

Her eyes flash at him immediately, feeling uncomfortably seen by a person who she hadn’t known existed until a few minutes ago. She never said her name and introduced herself, but she supposes her fame had taken care of that one.

“Oh, I hope you don’t mind.” He says a bit alarmed. “I was gonna pretend like I didn’t know you, but well let’s be real, who doesn’t?”

She smiles a bit pained. “No that’s okay, it just took me by surprise.”

“So you _are_ okay?” Charlie repeats.

Gwen squints her eyes and smiles. “I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

_Not with you._

Charlie shrugs and doesn’t push. They end up in some mindless conversation about anything and nothing. The stranger tells her about his job and why he chose this resort for his annual getaway. He’s never been married and if she should believe his stories, his only stable relationship is the one with his job.

“What are you doing now?” She asks, chucking back the remnants of her second drink.

“I work as a structural engineer in New York City. I got my Architecture degree and got the hell out of Kansas City for good. Never looked back.”

Gwen hums, not knowing the least bit about what his job entailed necessarily, but enjoying the way he takes charge of their conversation and allows her to take a bit of a backseat.

“I love New York.” Gwen shares, motioning to the bartender for a refill.

“You must spend quite some time there for business purposes.” Charlie inquires.

“Yeah, I….” She shakes her head and sips on her freshly poured drink. “Can we not talk about business maybe? I kinda came here to get away from all that.”

Her new acquaintance raises his brows and nods. “Of course. Wow, you must really hate your life right now.”

Gwen nearly chokes on her drink, the weird and unusual wording catching her completely off guard.

“You’re not very subtle are you, Charlie?”

She’s batting her eyelashes just a little too much for her liking and she feels the evidence of her drinking already. It’s running through her veins like warm liquid, the fact that it’s only three pm is not stopping her from getting close to drunk.

Before this trip, she rarely ever drank. Day drinking was especially out of the occasion. But something about Cançun makes her want to let loose and forget about all inhibitions.

Charlie smirks. “Not at all.”

“I like it.”

They continue their conversation for a while longer and by the time he suggests a change of scenery, the sun is close to setting. Time has completely gotten away from her and it’s not until she’s brought back to earth, that she realizes she’s considerably drunk.

Her arms lean lazily over the bar top, her throat dry and scratchy from the alcohol use and laughter that spilled over her lips in these last few hours. Charlie turned out not to have those deep waters she usually enjoys exploring, but he was easy and up for some quick fun and Gwen couldn’t deny the appeal of something uncomplicated. Something she could enjoy for the time being and not feel guilty about. Someone who she could never get serious feelings for and therefore lacked all the pressure and anticipation that she feels for another certain someone.

“You wanna get out of here and grab some dinner?” Charlie asks hopeful, a sparkle in his eyes. “We could get some food from the resort and just head back to my room.”

Gwen finishes another drink, unsure of how many she had, and sighs deeply.

“I don’t think that’s a great idea.” She slurs, her words feeling like a string of heavy weights leaving her lips.

“I could make it worth your while.” The man tries.

Gwen bites her lip to keep the nervous feelings at bay. She was a pro at flirting, but when it came down to the serious part, her whole body seemed to shut down. This was not something she was good at. Her relationship history shows that much.

“I’m sorry, I just wanna head back to my room.” She says softly, closing her eyes tightly. “Alone.”

Her friend for the afternoon gets the message and shrugs in silent defeat.

“It was nice meeting you, Gwen. I had a great time.” 

He stands up to give her a hug and she reluctantly engages in the motion. She feels unsteady on her feet as he presses her against his chest and she uses both hands to steady herself against him.

“You okay?” He smirks. “You need some help there?”

She flushes red at the embarrassment of nearly falling into him and shakes her head. “No, that’s okay. Thank you.”

She just wants to get away from him and this situation as quickly as possible, the fun and airy afternoon turning unpleasant in an instant. She wonders were the rest of her friends are, as she hasn’t heard from any of them all day and it was rapidly nearing dinner time.

She stumbles back on her feet and turns around, cursing herself for being the lightweight she is. It’s probably due to having absolutely no build up resistance as her days of getting drunk have seriously lessened over the years. The last time she can remember getting this hammered was when she was still in the band, touring the world.

It takes her much longer to get to her room this time, the stairs in front of the resort almost becoming her undoing. She’s out of breath and slightly dizzy when she nears her room, the warm wind blowing around her suddenly feeling more suffocating than gentle. She dugs into her purse to retrieve her key before leaning against the balcony in front of her door, seeking some stability.

“Gwen?”

She jumps at the sound of his voice, turning around briskly and clutching at her heart.

“Blake, Jesus Christ.”

“Are you okay?” He asks worriedly, pushing his back off her door.

She hadn’t even seen him standing there, completely oblivious to her surroundings as she just focused on getting her feet to work.

“Yeah, I’m—” She stumbles forward to demonstrate how ‘fine’ she is, before Blake’s arms come out to steady her and keep her from crashing into the closed door.

“I feel so stupid.” She whispers, trying to open the lock and sending a quick prayer upstairs when it works. “I rarely ever drink this much.”

“It’s okay.” He says, helping her inside and closing the door behind her.

“No it’s not.” She replies, raking her hands through her hair and sighing desperately. “Oh my god Blake, I’m so hammered I’m gonna be sick.”

Just as she’s spoken those words, a rush of nausea overwhelms her as she rushes towards the bathroom. She’s sinking to her knees over the toilet and grabs the edge tightly. She gags and mimics the motion of throwing up without anything actually making its way out. As embarrassed as she is, her heart softens when she sees Blake sink down to the floor with her and hold her hair up gently, just in case.

“This is so embarrassing.” She whispers, and the next wave of nausea causes her to empty her stomach contents for real this time.

Blake rubs her back soothingly, holding her hair back.

“It happens to the best of us, darling. Nothing to be embarrassed about.”

His soft voice is exactly what she needs to hear right now, her knuckles turning white with how forcefully she’s holding on to the edge of the toilet, another wave causing her to gag.

“Just let it out.” Blake whispers softly. “There you go, just relax.”

She’s sinking back against his body the moment it all passes and feels all strength leave her body in one steady exhale.

“I’m so tired.” She whispers.

Blake nods, standing up and shushing her gently when she starts to protest. He patiently leads her to the edge of the bathtub, waiting till she’s somewhat stable while sitting down there. His hand stays on her shoulder as if he’s scared to let go off her completely as he finds a washcloth from underneath the vanity and holds it under the bath’s faucet.

She’s completely unprepared for the way he gently washes her face. She did not expect him to do that, especially not without any prompting and she realizes then how much care she truly missed out on. He handles her so delicately, it’s almost as if he’s afraid to hurt her with the simplelest of touch and it’s beyond endearing. He gently tips her chin up and cleans her jaw, telling her to relax when he softly cups her cheek to keep her head still.

Lord knows, she hasn’t been this relaxed in ages.

“All good.” He says softly, looking at her sweetly. “You wanna lay down?”

She can’t do anything but nod, her body officially not good for anything. She depends on him mostly when he helps her out of the bathroom and onto her bed.

She has half a mind to push up her tanktop and throw it off, leaving her in nothing but a bra and shorts. Blake doesn’t even flinch, just walks towards her closet and comes back with her lacy nightgown.

“I don’t know what you want to wear...” He says sheepishly, holding out the piece of garment in front of him. “I think I saw you wear this the other day.”

She smiles sweetly. “Yeah that is fine.”

He hands her the nightgown and turns around respectfully, keeping their boundaries clear while she’s beyond intoxicated. The gesture doesn’t go unnoticed and it only makes her yearn for him more. She bites her lip when she’s completely undressed, bringing the garment down over her head and over her small body.

“You’re gonna tuck me in or what?” She asks teasingly, indicating to him that she’s done and he can turn around. He motions with his head for her to get under the covers and she basically swoons at the silent demand, pulling the blankets over her chest.

He pulls the covers straight around her and sits down on the edge of the bed.

His hand pulls a strand of hair behind her ear and his gentle eyes look at her with a bit of worry.

“Did you stay at the bar all day?” He asks.

She nods, her head lolling towards his propped-up arm. “Yeah, pretty much. We just started drinking and didn’t stop until…what time is it now?”

“It’s 6 pm.” His brow furrows while his eyes zero in on her. “ _We_?”

It takes her a while to understand what he’s getting at before she nods softly.

“Charlie. He was…. I don’t even know what he was.” She says, matching Blake’s confused look. “I met him at the bar, he wanted to buy me a drink.”

Blake smiles, but she has a hard time figuring out if it’s a genuine one.

“I see. Where is your friend now?”

“He went back to the restaurant I believe.”

“He just got you drunk and left you to fend for yourself?” Blake asks unimpressed, a hint of darkness in his eyes.

“Obviously I was fine.” Gwen babbles.

“Darling, you could barely stand when I saw you, you were leaning over the balcony trying to keep from falling.” He says, puzzled. “And you walked all over the beach like that?”

“He was drunk also.” Gwen weakly defends him.

“I don’t give a damn.” Blake responds just a tad too harshly. His features soften automatically while his finger caresses her cheek gently. “I’m sorry, I just don’t think that’s responsible. If you’re gonna get someone drunk, the least you can do is walk them back safely.”

“It felt safer not to let him do that.” Gwen whispers, letting her eyes close beneath Blake’s soft and caring touches.

He sighs deeply next to her and she can feel him nod. “I understand. God Gwen, I hate hearing about you and another guy.”

Her breathing hitches.

“W-what?” She stammers.

He looks a bit flustered when she looks up at him, the words obviously not meant to come out the way they did.

“I didn’t mean…” Blake looks down at his lap, then back at her. “I don’t mean it like that. I just wished I was there tonight to…. I don’t know, keep you company.”

Too tired to press him on what he said earlier, she lets it slide and remembers he’s been out all day himself.

“Did you have fun fishing?” She asks.

Blake smiles. “We did. Worked up quite an appetite though.”

Her eyes widen. “Oh my god Blake, you must be starving. Why are you still here, shouldn’t you be meeting the rest back at the restaurant?”

“That’s kind of why I came here in the first place.” He chuckles. “To see if you were ready to join us.”

“I can’t think about food right now.” She says painfully, the thought alone making her nauseous again. “You shouldn’t be staying here, Blake. You’ve helped me enough.”

“I did what any good friend would do.” He dismisses.

“Holding my hair back while I puke is what any friend would do?”

“A good one? Yes.”

She smiles. “I do believe you’re one of the good ones.”

A brief silence lingers between them.

“You make it very easy.”

She smiles despite it feeling heavy and she stifles a moan when his fingers dig carefully into her shoulder blade. He continues rolling his thumb there when realizing she’s tense and chuckles when a huge yawn escapes her.

“Are we still gonna walk later?” She asks quietly. “You said you’d take me on another night walk on the beach.”

Blake works out the last strand of tension in her shoulder and bites his lip. “I don’t think you’re in any condition to that tonight, Gwen.” The words leave a bitter taste in her mouth. “How about a rain check on that one?”

She sighs. “I’m sorry I ruined that.”

“What?” He asks surprised. “You didn’t ruin anything, sweetheart. We still have enough time to do that. Just sleep this one off, I’ve nursed plenty of hangovers in my life so just trust me.”

She nuzzles her cheek into her pillow, sleep already tugging at her subconscious.

“I was really looking forward to it.” She admits.

“Me too. Good things come to those who wait, right?”

She smirks. “That’s what I’ve heard.”

“Before I say goodnight to you right now, can I do one last thing?” He asks softly. “Normally I wouldn’t ask when a lady is this drunk but I can’t leave you here and not— “  
  
“ _Oh my god,_ please shut up and kiss me already.”

He chuckles and she swears she can see him turn red. He rubs the tips of their noses together before kissing her so perfectly she thinks she might be designed for him. A shiver runs through her when he tilts his head just a little, determined to make every kiss the most amazing experience. He nips at her lip but before she can deepen it, he’s pulling away.

“The rest will have to wait till you’re sober.” He says, kissing her forehead gently.

“ _Blake_.” She grunts, but it only elicits a laugh from the tall man.

“Goodnight, sweetheart.”

She opens her eyes to find him already nearing her door and her lips are still slightly parted and slick. She moans in frustration and longing but smiles at his endless charm.

“Goodnight.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For Sanne.

“Blake are you sure this is a good idea?” She asks nervously, chuckling when he taps her hand and makes him follow her.

She tries not to blush or attract any attention to herself as she follows him briskly and prays to God no one notices them sneaking away from the group. Gwen takes a brief look behind her to see her friends all go their separate ways to get ready for whatever the night held in store.

She stops when Blake puts a hand on her shoulder.

“What is this?” She asks, looking around her and realizing they’ve walked all the way to the end of the resort, near the exit.

“This is restaurant _Tora_.” Blake exclaims proudly, a lazy grin plastered on his features. “I had to ask around a bit to find a staff member honest enough to tell me which restaurant was the best one, but I eventually found it’s this. The best the resort has to offer.”

Gwen grins. “They could’ve lied to you.”

“I don’t think I’ve been lied to, but there’s only one way to find out.”

His smile makes her lose all ability to speak, she just keeps on staring like she’s never seen someone like him in the flesh before. She slides a hand from her neck to her ear and brushes a strand of hair behind it.

“Don’t you think we’re being a bit too obvious if we both miss out on dinner with the rest?”

His hand touches her lower back, careful to remain respectful. “No one is having dinner with each other tonight except for Carson and Adam. I think Pharrell has had enough of us for the night.”

Gwen snorts. “I can’t blame him. If it weren’t for you, I totally wouldn’t have minded to have a quiet night alone. No offense.”

“I’m gonna take that as a compliment.”

“You should.”

“You wanna go in?” He grins. “After you.”

This is the stupidest thing she’s ever done: go on a date with not just someone who’s her friend, but someone who she works with. Her divorce isn’t even legally finalized yet and she’s already seriously considering crossing boundaries with someone else. She smiles when he holds open the door for her and waits until she’s up the small stairs before joining her.

They’re assigned a table for two right in the front, having the most gorgeous view of the ocean and part of the night life. It’s magically beautiful and totally gut wrenching. She can’t remember the last time she’s been wined and dined like this and Blake had come up with this evening on a whim.

“This is beautiful.” She says.

“I agree.” He speaks lowly, his eyes never once straying from her face.

The reddening of her cheeks is no longer an embarrassment, as Blake’s become fairly acquainted with the sight. They’re poured a glass of the most expensive red wine before the waitress leaves them with the bottle in a bucket of ice.

“Thank you for arranging this, Blake.” She speaks softly, her fingers toying with the flute of her wine glass. “I didn’t know how we were gonna get a few moments alone together without having to hide away in our hotel rooms.”

Blake’s grin widens. “Hiding away in our hotel rooms? Tell me more about that please.”

“Stop.” She giggles, pinching the bridge of her nose as she tries not to turn into a puddle of mush. “I’m serious though. This means a lot to me.”

“It means a lot to me too.” Blake replies, dropping the playfulness and addressing her in plain seriousness now. “I love getting to sneak in some private moments with you but it just isn’t enough. I wanna get to know you better.”

“I don’t think you want that.” Gwen shakes her head, laughing quietly under her breath. “I’m a train wreck, Blake. I’m more fun from a distance.”

“You don’t have to pretend with me.” He looks at her so intensely she can literally count the stars in his eyes. “I know what a devastating time this is. I don’t agree with what you just said though.”

“What did I say?”

“That you’re a train wreck.” He says pointedly. “I think you’re going through a horrible time and it made you feel broken, probably. But you’re still here, you even agreed to this evening with me, so it looks like you’re picking the pieces back up.”

She bites her lip. “Is that what this means?”

“Whatever this means…” He says softly, referring to them. “…Doesn’t matter for the sake of my argument. What I’m saying is that you’re so much stronger than what you give yourself credit for. You’re not a train wreck. You’re someone who got hurt and is making the best of the shitty hand you’ve been dealt. That takes courage Gwen, and strength.”

There’s a silence that lingers between them after he spoke, the words settling in somewhere deep inside her. She takes a moment to look out of the window, the stars so much clearer here than she’s ever seen them in LA. It takes her breath away.

“Last night after you left, I tried telling myself that we were gonna go back to normal again. I don’t know why, it’s not what I want at all, but it just felt _right_. I feel like I need to do what’s right and getting involved with you….”

“Feels wrong?” Blake asks nervously.

“No, but shouldn’t it?” She asks, the vulnerability dripping off her words. “Shouldn’t this be something we both run from instead of something we embrace? We both know what this is.”

Blake grimaces. “A rebound.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t know.” He takes a deep breath. “Do you?”

She swallows roughly, biting her lip. “I don’t know either.”

Their loaded conversation gets interrupted by a cheery waitress who takes their order on a small note pad. She saunters away after a few minutes and Blake’s gaze is quick to find hers again. Even with the heavy subject they’re discussing, he keeps that charismatic smile on his face that makes her want to reject all reason and jump into something quite possibly very dangerous.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Gwen. I just like the way it feels when we hang out.”

She rubs her hand against the back of her neck, staring at him deeply.

“I like it too. I’m just scared. Scared of doing the wrong thing.”

Blake waves his hand in front of him, laying his palm down on the table. “Let’s not think about right or wrong while we’re here okay?” He asks softly. “Let’s only do what we feel like doing. Isn’t that why we came here in the first place, to feel good and get away from the responsibilities back home?”

Never has she been proposed a more appealing sentiment and she feels like her answer is visible in every inch of her face before she says it out loud.

“That sounds great.” She whispers.

“You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that.”

“You thought I would say something else?”

He smiles, more mischievous this time.

“Nah, I knew you liked kissing me way too much.”

She chokes on her sip of wine, eyes widening. “Blake!”

“I’m kidding.” He laughs. “Of course I was nervous you’d say something else, you’re Gwen freaking Stefani.”

She bites her lip and let’s go of the final shred of fear that wants to hold her back tonight.

“I guess you weren’t entirely wrong...” She whispers, a blush already forming on her cheeks again. “I do like kissing you. I wanted you to do more of that last night.”

“You were drunk out of your mind.” He says, his tongue subconsciously licking his lips before he speaks. “I don’t think it would’ve been fair of me to do more.”

Her hand slides over the remaining surface of the table, until her palm covers the top of his hand. He looks a bit surprised at the motion but not at all opposed.

“I know you say these things cause you mean them, but I seriously don’t think you realize how rare you are. I’ve never had anyone be this…sweet with me.”

The skin around his eyes slightly crinkles when he frowns, his head cocking to the right.

“I hate to hear you say that.” He admits, his thumb moving up to trail hers. “I don’t think that’s right at all. You should’ve been the most familiar with kindness.”

She swallows the lump in her throat. “That wasn’t how things were between us.”

He doesn’t skip a beat.

“You were with him for fifteen years?”

“ _Twenty_.”

“Twenty years and kindness wasn’t a thing between you two?” He asks.

“It’s not like he was never kind.” She says, her voice sounding weak. “We had our good moments for sure. It was like shit would hit the fan and be so bad for such a long time and when I’d get close to having enough, he would switch it up and be so kind to me. He would give me a glimpse of that person that I knew he could be, that I was sticking around for, and then pull it away before I could get too comfortable with it.”

“You know that wasn’t healthy, right?” He asks carefully.

She nods. “It was a twisted game, one that wasn’t designed to ever let me win. But it’s different when you have kids, Blake. I wanted to make it work for them, I wanted them to grow up with both parents under one roof. It’s what I grew up with and always strived to have. I couldn’t just give that up without a fight.”

His hand moves so hers is now laying beneath his and he squeezes gently. “I understand. And from what I’ve heard, you did fight. Anyone who stayed twenty years in a relationship that wasn’t kind, has had to fight. I know that. It’s okay to step away now though, Gwen. It’s okay to say ‘I’ve done all I could to try and make this work, but now it’s time for something better’.”

Tears fill her eyes while she looks up at him. “You think I’ll find something better?”

“Had you asked me this a few weeks ago, I might not have had an answer for you. But as I sit here looking at the most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen in my life in a restaurant where none of the dishes make sense to me, I realize the world is full of wonderful surprises.” Gwen can’t help but chuckle at him, using her free hand to whisk away a tear. “So yeah Gwen, I know for a fact that you’ll find something _much_ better.”

“I like the way you think, cowboy.” She says softly. “I don’t understand how someone like you ever gets into a situation like this but you’re so incredible.”

“Blind faith and only capable of learning the hard way will get you in my position.” He chuckles. “We’re not so different you and I. Even though you’re a much better person than me.”

“I doubt that.”

“Oh no, I’m not even saying that for sympathy, it’s clear. That’s why I like being around you so much darlin’, you’re better than _everyone_. And for some reason I’m the one who gets to spend some quality time with you, which quickly turned me from the most pathetic man on the planet to the luckiest one.”

She bites her lip. “You’re not pathetic. Far from it.”

They get interrupted again when the waitress serves their food, and they share quick smiles with the younger woman.

“I think I could get used to this.” Blake smiles, looking at her and then at their generous amount of fancy food.

“Me too.” She smiles, battling the fear and excitement that simmer in her stomach. “ _Me too.”_

**

Something about the way he looks at her makes her forget about everything else around her. Even as they walk down the beach at night, with more stars above them than she could possibly count, all she can think about is the way he looks at her.

It makes her feel bolder than she is. In a moment of sudden braveness, she bites her lip and makes up her mind about her next move. She just hopes Blake will give in and follow her lead.

The distance between them lengthens when she takes off towards the shoreline and pulls her sweater swiftly over her head. She vaguely recalls it landing somewhere in the sand, but she’s not paying enough attention to be able to tell you exactly where. It’s an unfamiliar feeling that hits her. Like she’s taking off like a caged animal would after escaping years of captivity. Blake starts a fast walk behind her, trying to catch up and calls her name a few times in bewilderment. She likes catching him off guard and enjoys being this spontaneous for once. The soft waves kiss at the shore and create alluring sounds that propel her forward.

When she takes off her small daisy dukes, she can hear Blake’s gasp before he corrects himself and disguises it as a dry cough. She wraps her arms around her waist and looks back at him with dark eyes.

“What are you waiting for?” She asks giddily.

Her adrenaline is spiking and the way Blake’s looking at her certainly doesn’t help. She feels the water intermingling underneath her toes and a flock of bird’s soar above their heads. It’s too dark to make out what they look like, but she’s overwhelmed with how much she craves the same kind of freedom these animals have. She drags her feet a few steps forward and further into the freezing water, squealing when the sensation hits.

“I don’t know how great of an idea this is…” Blake chuckles softly while watching her. He’s still standing a few steps back and hasn’t taken off a single item of clothing yet.

“Suit yourself.” She says, right before taking off in a sprint and ignoring the ice cold water as it engulfs her entire frame until it’s just her head and shoulders that stick out. “Holy shit that’s cold.”

“Jesus.” Blake huffs, sliding two hands over his face before taking off his jeans. She bites her lip even when the sight is severely tempered by the darkness of the night and the fact that he keeps his shirt on. He runs after her, grunting and cursing when the cold water pierces his skin. He doesn’t stop moving until he’s close enough for his arms to pull her closer.

“Blake.” She calls out high pitched, giggling when he splashes a hand full of water in her face. “No, don’t get my hair wet.”

“Gwen, you’re in the sea.” He says pointedly. “You’re gonna get your hair wet.”

“No I don’t.” She replies, lifting her chin up and bracing both hands on his shoulders. “The salt isn’t good for my hair, it’s too harsh.”

Blake looks at her like he doesn’t quite understand, but he doesn’t push it. He still looks somewhat in shock of what they’ve just done and continue to do.

“Gwen, I literally can’t feel my balls.”

She laughs loudly, finally feeling freed from all restrictions she felt during the day.

“Oh boo-hoo, are you seriously gonna tell me that a big strong cowboy like yourself can’t handle a little bit of cold?”

Blake scoffs. “Can you seriously tell me your nipples couldn’t cut glass right now?”

Gwen’s brow raises. “Are you sure you wanna talk about my nipples right now?”

Even in the dark, she can tell he’s starting to blush and the quick shake of his head causes her body to shake with silent laughter.

“Shit no, we really shouldn’t.”

“Bad cowboy.” She chuckles, while creating some ripples around her with her hands while she slowly starts to acclimate to the temperature of the water surrounding them.

He instead, takes a few remaining strokes until he’s inched away from her. He’s now behind her and she feels his words reverberating against the back of her neck.

“Can’t let a lady get cold.”

The water continues to lap at her shoulders and with his arms wrapping around her stomach from behind, breathing becomes significantly more challenging. His hands end up right above her navel and she wonders what would’ve happened if he held her just a little bit lower.

“This okay?” He whispers against her ear, prodding her to respond to his question. He lets his chin rest on the top of her shoulder and stills his movements.

She swallows roughly and nods. “Yes, it’s okay.”

There’s a nervous energy that surrounds her and her heart is beating out of control. As calm as he usually makes her feel, something about his proximity always puts her body on edge. Not because she hates, but quite the contrary.

Her hands start to move then, and slowly she starts peeling off his grip. His eyebrows furrow in confusion, but she doesn’t let him wonder too long. She turns around to face him, her hair up in a ponytail and the cold surroundings causing goosebumps to have erupted over her chest. Her eyes are damp from the water and make-up she had been wearing before, though there’s probably not much of that left. His eyes are trained on her face, but it’s the peripheral vison he can’t ignore. The damp black material that’s clinging firmly to her body.

When she begins to remove the distance between them, she can see him take in a deep breath. She smiles as she realizes she’s not the only who’s slightly nervous and lets her arms encircle his neck. The material of her bikini presses firmly into his chest and her teeth sink into her lower lip by default. There’s no one around for miles, their friends are all back in their hotel rooms and the darkness of the night provides her with some security she doesn’t feel during daytime. His hands instinctively go to the curve of her back while the top of her thigh presses against his crotch. There’s certainty one part of his body that’s not affected by the cold.

When she opens her eyes again, his have fallen to her lips. She’s damn near trembling now and the only thing that could possibly put her out of her misery is for him to kiss her again. For him to touch her in that way that only he can.

The water laps at their chests, her restraint washing away with the waves.

“Blake…” She whispers.

“What is it, darling?”

She wants to groan at his words but she realizes quickly he’s sporting a huge smirk. He knows exactly what she’s asking but he wants to hear the words. For the first time since she got here, she feels like she’s capable of giving him what he needs to hear.

“Kiss me.”

Their mouths are so close and it would be so easy for her to reach up and press them together. But for some reason she waits for Blake to make the move. She feels like that sums up a lot of her life, but Blake doesn’t seem too fazed by the proposition.

It takes only a second for him to grand her request. His lips close in over hers and it’s the best damn feeling in the world. Her mouth parts and she breathes in briefly before capturing his top lip between hers, desperate to make his mind spin as much as he does hers. It isn’t long before he’s tilting her head slightly and deepens the kiss. Her wet body is clinging to his and the night air sends a chill up her spine that contradicts with the warmth from her waist down. His hand rakes up her back, over the black string until it tangles into the back of her hair. She hums against his mouth when he tightens his grip there a little, the firm and confident action making her weak in the knees.

Her fingertips sink into his shoulders as she adjusts herself against him for a moment. His hands pull at her hips harshly and she collides perfectly with the bulge that’s now straining his boxers painfully obvious. The motion causes a moan to get ripped from the back of her throat and her control is slipping by the moment. Her hand slips into his hair and pulls gently, not tempering down at all.

Then as if he’s on autopilot, he moves his hand to one of her thighs and parts the other with his leg until she’s got no option but to wrap her legs around his waist. She does it without hesitation and almost swoons at how easy it is for him. He groans into her mouth, both of their breathing having immensely escalated. She continues to rob him of breath as she keeps their kisses a constant and enjoys the way his hands are now holding her backside.

He must be able to feel the hard peaks behind her bikini top pressing against his chest, but she doesn’t even care. Not when he kisses her like _that_.

His tongue trails down the swell of her lower lip and bites it, chuckling when she lets out another moan into the clear night sky. She’s rocking her hips into him and tightens her thighs around him dangerously.

He slowly pulls his mouth away from hers and trails it across her cheek, to the base of her ear. “God Gwen, you’re killing me.”

“If you stop now…” She whispers before taking his earlobe into her mouth. “I might actually cry.”

“ _Fuck_.”

She presses her ankles harder into the swell of his ass and rocks her hips affirmatively.

“Jesus, I gotta—” His mumblings get cut off by himself, his own control slipping as his hand guides her mouth back onto his.

The moment intensifies when between kisses and shared breathes, one of his hands slide down in between their bodies and finds the wet fabric of her bikini bottoms. He gauges her reaction before slipping it aside and teasing his fingers around the newly exposed flesh. She gasps in his mouth and holds on for dear life, whimpering and moaning soft pleas against him. He slowly begins pushing his finger inside of her, her hands clenching tightly on his shoulders as his pace quickens after a while.

She moves her hips into him as much as she can while being in the position she’s in, her legs hooking around him tighter as she uses his back for leverage. He kisses up her neck, leaving soft and wet trails with his mouth. She feels the beginning of a release building and desperately smashes their lips together again.

His thumb flicks across her bundle of nerves and it's over for her. She detonates in his arms, falling flush against him as he holds her up. He places some light kisses on the top of her head as she rides it out, which seems like the longest time. There’s nothing more peaceful than falling apart in his arms, being pulled against him so perfectly tight, with the backdrop of the ocean and the moon in the sky the only things she sees when she opens her eyes. She’s finally content with simply just being in the moment, not worrying about anything else.

“Blake…” Her voice is hoarse and small.

“Don’t freak out just yet.” He shushes her, his hand caressing her back. “Let’s just enjoy the moment.”

She tried to contain whatever this thing was between them, but it’s like housing a tornado in a glass bottle.

He’s cracked a part of her open that she’d thought had long since died. He has sparked her back to her former self – that bold and overly ambitious woman who used to take risks and daring chances. She has spent so long shelving her desires and settling for less than she deserves, it’s nearly impossible to deny his seemingly simple request; to just have fun and let loose while they’re here.

What happened tonight in the ocean was a clear statement on his part. He wants her to let go with him, even if that means rebounding all over each other. He’s giving her full permission to use him but that also means giving him the reigns to do the same. And she’s just not sure she can.

But she wants to.

She wants to feel alive, and free, and lose her inhibitions for once. Those are all things Blake makes her feel with every simple glance her way or every unintentional touch of his body against hers.

“I just wanted to say thank you.” She says eventually, deciding that his proposition is much more appealing than hers.

Blake chuckles and kisses her forehead. “For what?”

“This moment.”

She lets out a soft breath that carries away with the sea into the far distance, holding onto Blake like a lifeline that just got thrown at her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the bit of delay. Honestly, with everything going on in the world right now, I wasn't very motivated to write or post. My heart just feels incredibly heavy, but I also realize we need a little escape from reality for just a few minutes. I hope this chapter does that for you.

She’s had two Martinis but that doesn’t stop her from feeling exceptionally free and liberated tonight. Blake had shown her suggestive looks ever since they got here and the sticky surroundings of the nightclub were infiltrating her veins and causing her to act with way more vigor than she usually would.

Her friend notices too.

Blake had just walked out onto the balcony to ‘get some air’ when Gwen’s feet had started itching to follow him, have some time alone with the cowboy.

“Are you gonna wait five minutes till you follow him out there?” Adam asks with a smirk, hiding his smile behind his glass.

She only has a few seconds of embarrassment left in her before she turns around and gives him the filthiest smile she can muster.

“I’m not gonna wait at all.”

Adam’s beaming smile couldn’t possibly get any bigger as she leaves him standing there, the soft nodding of his head making Gwen giggle. There’s something so juvenile about this new feeling she’s been having, this freedom to sneak around a little and explore her possibilities. She had always been the one doing the chasing in her previous relationships, but this balance she’s been having with Blake is so much more equal and rewarding. She’s starting to care less about her friends being aware of the tension brewing between the two coaches. She just wants to continue to see where this is going, especially after last night.

The air is still sticky and warm, even when the sun is way past setting and leaves the sky in nothing but darkness and divinely clear stars.

She figured Blake would be the first thing she’d see when getting out on the balcony, his tall frame hard to miss, but he’s nowhere to be found, even though she could’ve sworn she saw him coming out here.

“Gwen, what are the chances?”

It's not Blake’s voice she hears and it takes everything in her not to erupt in a bunch of chills. She really wished she could erase the evening she met Charlie, but she’s not that lucky.

“Charlie.” Gwen smiles deceivingly and turns around. “What are you doing here?”

“Drinking, you?” He smiles.

“I’m waiting for a friend.”

“Someone keeping you waiting?” He clicks his tongue. “I’d say get rid of him already.”

Really not interested in having this conversation, she braces her hand on the balcony railing and grips it tightly. With her body slightly turned away from him she hopes he gets the message, but again, she proves not to be that lucky.

“I’ve been thinking about that afternoon we spent and I still think it ended way too soon.” He says, leaning his back against the balcony and looking her way. “How about I buy you another drink?”

“Charlie, really, I appreciate the gesture so much but I’m not— “

“You already said no to me once.” He interrupts her. “Don’t do it twice, please.”

Her head whips around to see if Blake’s anywhere to be found already but she’s still coming up empty. Maybe she miscalculated and he didn’t walk out here at all, perhaps he was just tired of the whole party scene tonight and left early to go back to his hotel room. She could’ve completely misread the signs—and Adam too.

That thought fills her with so much dread, even her uninvited guest can tell.

“You have that look again.” He says, his hand reaching out to cup her cheek. “You’re getting all sad.”

She pulls away from his touch immediately, backing up a few steps.

“Please don’t touch me.” She says, startled. “If you don’t mind, I would like to wait here for my friend alone.”

“You shouldn’t be out here all alone, especially not if you’re gonna wait for a guy that stood you up.” He says instead, walking closer and bracing both hands on each side of her on the railing, caging her in. “Hey, don’t panic, it’s fine. Just… _kiss me_.”

Her eyes widen, her senses in sudden overdrive. Her hands push at his arms to get him to back off but he’s stronger and has the advantage of a steady leverage.

“If you don’t step away right now I’m gonna scream.” Her voice is a nervous whisper, her hands slightly shaking against her sides.

He leans in more, ignoring her words. “Don’t be dramatic.” He whispers against her neck. “You’ll like it.”

The moment she feels his lips touch her neck, she’s pushing at him again, her voice a shrill sounding yell. “Get _off_ of me.”

Before she knows what’s happening, Charlie is being pushed off her forcefully. She inhales a deep breath at finally being away from him, but she’s pretty sure her own pushing at his chest couldn’t have done that. She opens her eyes to find Blake grabbing his collar and pushing him harshly against the wall. The younger man gasps and scoffs, obviously surprised by the tall man’s interference.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Blake hisses, holding Charlie so painfully tight even Gwen winces.

“Blake, it’s okay, I’m—” Her soft voice doesn’t sound very convincing and she’s not even that surprised when Blake cuts her off.

“Stay back, Gwen.”

She does what she’s told, still too shaken up to actually get much closer to them.

“We know each other.” The younger man tries wiggling out of Blake’s grip but he proves to be much stronger. “She liked it.”

The sound of Blake’s fist colliding with Charlie’s cheek pierces through the air loudly. Gwen looks at him mortified, gasping and lurching forward.

“Blake, don’t.” She holds on to his arm and tries tugging him away from the guy. “He’s not worth it.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you two were dating.”

Blake grits his teeth, pushing him even harder into the wall by his collar. “Get near her again and I will personally knock your teeth out. You got that?”

Gwen is still holding on to Blake’s arm, not able to force his hand physically but hoping that her presence will eventually calm him down enough to let the man go.

“I get it, I get it.” Charlie murmurs, using his free hand to wipe at his nose and busted lip.

“Let go of him, Blake.” Gwen whispers.

He finally decides to listen, letting go of him so forcefully Charlie staggers on his feet. Gwen pulls him away from the bleeding man quickly and runs her hand up his chest and neck.

“It’s okay, please come back to me.” She whispers, cupping his cheek. “I need you right now.”

His eyes stare down at hers, the blue in his irises ablaze. “I want to fucking kill him. Jesus Christ Gwen, are you okay? Did he hurt you?”

She swallows roughly, eyes filling with water. “He didn’t, he just…I’m fine. Can you take me back to my room? I just want to get out of here.”

Blake nods, pulling her close for a quick hug and then nudging her towards the exit. They don’t take the time to say goodbye to their friends, but they’ll make up for that later. Blake’s hand is quick to grab hers when they hit the beach and his protectiveness causes him to hold on to her much tighter. Her own body is filled with tension and she doesn’t even realize she’s crying until Blake’s free hand reaches up to whisk some tears away.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there right away, Gwen.” He whispers, using his other hand to pull her closer into him.

“Where were you?” She asks, voice lacking all accusation as she’s not blaming him for anything.

“Restroom.”

Gwen breathes. “I thought I was going crazy when I thought I saw you going out on the balcony.”

“You weren’t. I did go there and I was hoping you’d follow.”

Gwen smiles weakly. “I did.”

“He’s never coming near you again.” Blake says softly, voice hardening.

“If you hadn’t been there, I don’t know what— “

“Don’t think about that.” Blake cuts her off, his thumb stroking her hand. “I was there and he’s not gonna hurt you. I won’t ever let him.”

Gwen bites her lip and nods, taking another deep breath as she tries to let the imagery of the sea and Blake’s proximity fill her with comfort.

The first thing she did when they got to her room was take a shower. Blake had simply nodded and sat down on her bed, the sound of the television softly accompanying her in the bathroom. It was a weird but nice feeling to know that Blake was in the other room while she was in here, providing a sense of safety that was much needed tonight.

She dries herself off and looks into the condensed mirror, grabbing the satin robe from hanger off the door and wrapping the strings tightly at the front of her body. Her eyes are tired and red and her body feels tense everywhere. All she wants to do is spend some time with Blake now.

That’s what she came to the balcony to do.

The sound of the television immediately gets eliminated when she steps out of the bathroom and she notices he muted whatever was playing.

“You don’t have to do that.” She smiles sweetly.

“How are you feeling?” He asks instead, not moving from where he’s sitting against her headboard, obviously figuring out what the right move is.

“Better now.” She says, climbing onto the bed with him and settling in against him.

His arm immediately comes around her and pulls her closer, his heart beating fast. She slides her fingers down his arm and traces his red knuckles.

“Does it hurt?” She asks.

Her fingertips are careful in the way they trace the angry marks.

“I'm fine.”

She nods and pulls his hand up to her face, placing soft and gentle kisses right over his irritated skin. He doesn’t pull away and so she assumes it doesn’t hurt. She nuzzles his hand before kissing the tips of his fingers, touching each digit with her lips.

“Thank you for protecting me, Blake.” She whispers softly against his hand. “And for staying right now.”

“Sweetheart, you don’t have to thank me for that.”

“I know.” She says, holding his hand tightly. “But I also know that I haven’t felt this cared for, this safe, with anyone in a _very_ long time.”

He turns on his side, urging Gwen to do the same as they face each other in silence. His hand trails up her arm softly, taking in the features of her face before he speaks.

“I don’t know when or how it happened, but I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop thinking about how much I want to be there for you and how much it would literally kill me if something happened to you. You’ve been through so much, Gwen. All I want is a chance to make you feel better.”

His words cause her throat to tighten up, swallowing past the lump becoming damn near impossible. Her eyes fill while she’s laying so calmingly in his arms.

“You already do.” She whispers.

Blake rubs her lower back a little, managing to get rid of the build-up anxiety and tension in her body with each touch. Despite the time of night, they’re both still wide awake and simply holding on to each other. Gwen’s eyes dip from his neck to the little bit of revealed skin of his chest. Her finger slides up to his chin and touches his stubble, merely familiarizing herself with every inch of his face. He doesn’t say anything, just lets her blindly touch and explore, not disturbing the silence they were so dramatically accustomed to by now.

She leans forward to nuzzle his neck and inhales deeply.

“ _Gwen_.”

He says her name so softly, so gently, she thinks a part of her heals just by hearing his voice.

He pulls away a little, pushing her onto her back and looking for any sign of reluctance. When that doesn’t happen, he knows she’s giving him silent permission to go further and she bites her lip hard.

Blake slowly slides his hand down her stomach, looking her directly in the eye when he unties the strings from each other and lets her robe fall open. His eyes leave her face and move to the revealed skin, her entire body exposed to him. She thought she’d be nervous or shocked, but instead she feels unexpectedly alive. His hand slides carefully to her hip, holding her completely still as his eyes take in every inch of her body. She bites her lip, the heat of his stare combined with the heat of his fingers on her bare skin making her dizzy with lust.

As much as she felt dishevelled and hurt when they first got to her room tonight, as alive and whole she feels while Blake slowly and intimately stares her down.

Any men she’s known would’ve long skipped the watching and got on with the touching by now, but not Blake. He takes his time taking her in, worshipping every ounce of her body with his eyes before he ever touches her. His gaze travels down her neck and chest, down to her stomach and then to her legs and thighs. Her skin is begging to be touched by him, the goosebumps erupting everywhere and she almost whines when his hand on her hip starts to slightly move. He touches her stomach, sliding one finger up to her naval and then down to her thigh. His unexpected and unclear movements make her bite her lip as she can do nothing but wait and anticipate his next move.

She knows he needs this. He wants to take his time, he wants to check her out, wants to make sure she’s okay. Despite having told him verbally, she knows he wants to find out for himself. It’s the only way he can potentially think about taking it any further.

She has no problem letting him take it slow. Having his touch on her for as long as possible is the goal anyway.

Her breath staggers when his body inches lower down the mattress until he’s able to lean over her and softly kiss her stomach. His large palm curls around her leg as he continues to kiss his way around her navel and up to her chest. He doesn’t suck or lick, or make the moment overly erotic. He keeps his kisses soft, solely meant to worship.

Tears spring to her eyes after a few minutes, his mouth moving up to her collarbone and shoulders before spoiling it with the same treatment.

“ _Blake_.” She whispers hoarsely.

“Are you okay?” He asks, stilling his kisses on her skin and looking up at her.

Her hand moves to the back of his head, gripping his curls softly.

“No one has ever touched me the way you do.” She whispers, ignoring how badly her eyes sting with the amount of tears forming there. “I’m not used to this.”

Blake bites his lip, treading carefully. “Do you want me to stop?”

She shakes her head subconsciously, her body so in tune with her needs right now, with Blake, that she doesn’t even have to think.

“No.”

He nods, giving her shoulder another quick kiss before trailing his lips down her body again. This time his body moves so he’s edging closer to the end of the bed, gently moving in between her legs. Her soft gasp hits the air unexpectedly, one of her hands gripping the sheets already.

He kisses her inner thigh, chuckling when she whines a little.

“I’m the luckiest man on the planet, Gwen.” He whispers against her bare skin. “Just relax.” She slides her legs further apart at his soft demand and he smiles against her. “There you go.”

She’s no stranger to what’s about to happen, but she has a feeling she might be a stranger to how it’s about to feel this time. Blake’s mouth is so soft as it trails along her skin, taking the time to nip and suck and wait until she’s totally relaxed before kicking it into the next gear. It’s like he’s a pro at reading her body already and he’s never even had her like this before.

His large palm wraps around her thigh while his kisses start to deviate from there and move closer to where she really wants him. His mouth is warm as it lowers to her center and her moan is loud when he finally touches her there. His tongue is explorative but demanding, the delicious rasp causing her head to fly back against the pillow.

She can’t wrap her head around how good it feels so she gives up on thinking altogether. Blake spends minutes licking at her, circling his tongue around her bundle of nerves before finally putting pressure on it. When his free hand slides up to join his mouth, keeping her open and inserting one thick finger inside her, her hand reaches deeply into his hair. He doesn’t pay it any mind, just keeps making love to her with his mouth until hers falls open as she gasps for air.

She can feel her stomach clench and unclench violently, a release like that either unprecedented or so long ago she can’t even remember it ever happening.

He continues to draw out her pleasure, but she eventually reaches out her trembling hand to pull him back up.

“I can’t.” She whispers, still out of breath.

His mouth trails kisses across her thigh and hip, all the way up to her mouth. “Was it good?”

Her hand slides to his shoulder, looking up at him with wide eyes. Her chest is heaving, while a soft smile threatens to overtake her lips.

“How are you even asking me that right now?”

Blake chuckles.

“I just wanna make sure.” He says before leaning in to softly kiss her again.

They continue to kiss for a few moments, his hand gathering strands of blond hair in them as cherishes her like this. His grip on her isn’t painful but it’s tight enough to pull her deeper into him. Had she known he could kiss like _this_ , she probably would have done it before. She can’t even imagine going without that feeling anymore.

“God, Gwen…” He whispers, pulling back slightly. “How are you this beautiful?”

“Stop cowboy.” She giggles, pushing him onto his back and nuzzling her head into his shoulder.

“I’m serious.”

Even the way he holds her against him feels different, special, and she reaches for the sheets underneath her to cover them both.

“If you’re staying, you at least gotta get rid of the jeans this time.”

She feels his body shake when he chuckles, kissing the top of her head chastely.

“Now that’s a demand I can get behind.”

She probably shouldn’t feel such excitement well up in her chest at the realization he’s not going anywhere tonight, but that doesn’t stop the feeling from spreading. She presses her face into her pillow, hiding her giddy smile until Blake’s back beside her, climbing under the covers with nothing but his t-shirt and boxers on.

She turns on her side to face him, her hand sliding up his face, touching the short stubble there.

“Thank you for tonight, Blake.” She whispers. “You’re so patient with me and you managed to turn an absolute shit night into one of the most meaningful one’s ever.”

“I’m just glad to be here with you, Gwen. That’s the truth.”

She bites her lip. “Who thought the ska girl would eventually end up in bed with a real cowboy?”

His eyes scan her body briefly before he smirks.

“Darling, you’re laying inches apart from me in nothing but your birthday suit. I didn’t hear a single word you just said.”

Gwen laughs as she slides even closer, hooking one leg around his and laying partially on top of him. Her head gets comfortable against his shoulder while her hand slides up his chest.

“Hmmm, now there’s no space left between us at all. Is that too much for you?”

“Yes.” He answers simply. “But I _love_ too much. Give me too much any day of the week. Any fucking day, Gwen.”

She chuckles and bites her lip, closing her eyes.

“I hope you don’t mind me falling asleep on you like this.”

He makes a negative sound and his hand lays still on her lower back.

“Go to sleep, Gwen. I’m already halfway there.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this took a while. 
> 
> I know quarantine has caused a huge surge in inspiration for most writers, but unfortunately not for me. This chapter took everything in me to finally get right, but here it is.
> 
> Special thanks to Anna, for letting me brainstorm with her. This chapter wouldn't have happened without you.

With the red cup in one hand and his phone in the other, he almost loses his balance when Adam nudges his shoulder hard. Blake looks at him confused, slipping his phone in his pants pocket.

“What the hell man?”

“This is a bad idea, you know that right?”

“What are you talking about?” Blake keeps his gaze steady, even though he can feel himself turning red. He knows Adam is perfectly aware of what’s been going on with him and as much as he wants to honour Gwen and keep this a secret, it’s becoming harder each day to do so.

“Gwen.” Adam answers simply. “She’s messed up right now, just like you are. I don’t want to see two of my friends go through even more pain.”

“Adam.” Blake warns him, but his friend isn’t yet done.

“You want me to stay out of your business and I respect that. But your wellbeing sort of _is_ my business as one of your closest friends.”

Blake looks down at the ground before gulping down a few more sips of his drink. The empty cup is light in his hand, but the feeling in his chest is quite the opposite.

“I want to tell you what’s going on but I literally can’t. To be fair, it’s all confusing and I don’t think neither one of us is ready to put a label on things yet, if ever. I just need you to trust me, the same way I did when I let you take me into your home.”

“I did that because I care about you.”

“And I really care about her.” Blake replies. “You know me, I’m not here to play games with anyone or to add another few scars to her collection. I know what she’s been through, I’ve lived through it too.”

Adam breathes out loudly, squeezing his shoulder. “I’m not just looking out for _her_. I don’t want you to get hurt anymore, either.”

“I appreciate it.” Blake says honestly, the care and genuine concern his friend has showered him with over the years, but especially in these last few months, meant the absolute world to him. “You know I do.”

Their moment gets interrupted by Gwen, who looks stunning as usual, her flowery dress making her look like a painting in motion. It’s pretty common for Blake to get stunned by her and his dimples pop when she basically ignores the fact they’re not alone and walks straight into his arms for a hug. Blake tries to hide his surprise and shifts on his feet while she greets Adam with a hug as well.

“I’ll be back at the pool.” Adam lets them know briefly, shooting Blake one last glaring gaze.

He chuckles. “See you in a bit.”

Gwen waits till they’re alone before walking back into his arms, hooking her hand around his back.

“I have an idea.” She says sweetly, looking up at him through her lashes.

“Oh, yeah?”

She hums. “I was looking around the lobby this morning after breakfast and found this.”

She hands him a small flyer, waiting eagerly for him to flip it open. He does so with a smile, his eyes carefully reading the enthusiastic font that’s used to lure them in.

“Rock climbing?” His brows raise. “Gwen, do you have a death wish?”

She chuckles. “It’s not _actually_ rock climbing, cowboy. We’d just be walking down the shoreline, until we reach those huge rocks over there. Apparently, you can climb up there and sit, look out over the ocean. It’s supposed to be a pretty spectacular view. The flyer said some of the rocks there are even shaped in a way that makes it comfortable to sit on them, by the sheer force of the waves.”

Blake smiles at her excitement, shaking his head. “Great, we won’t just be climbing to our deaths, we’ll also be threatened by aggressive waves while we’re at it.”

He can’t explain it, but he gets a kick out of teasing her. He knew from the second she said she had an idea for them, that he was gonna say yes. The look on her face while she tries to convince him is worth the few minutes of fake hesitation though.

“Blake, it’s gonna be awesome. Plus, we’d be alone and I really want to spend some time with you without our friends.”

“ _Popular for its romantic appeal_...” Blake reads down the lines, laughing as Gwen snatches the piece of paper out of his hands.

“Okay that’s enough information for you. Are you coming or not?”

He can’t stop staring at her, her slightly embarrassed posture making her look even smaller. He’d be lying if he said he didn’t fantasize about the next time he could get her all alone and it made him feel especially good to know she had been thinking the same. He bites his lip and lets his hand travel up her wrist.

“You better hope no one’s there already.”

Gwen smiles. “Only one way to find out.”

He’s finding out quickly she only has to flash that girly smile of hers and he’s basically putty in her hands. He doesn’t have it in him to deny her anything and he chuckles when she tugs at his hand and urges him forward. It’s without too much thinking that his arm slides across her back, walking the whole way with her plastered against his side.

If she’s uncomfortable by it, she doesn’t show it. She grins up at him, not saying a word.

“I can hear you thinking.” He says, his large smile directed to no one as he keeps staring out in front of him.

Her foot kicks up some sand and she shakes it to get rid of the dirt that flew up into her sandals.

“I’m just thinking about how crazy it is, you and me.”

“What’s so crazy about it?” He asks, only teasing because he knows it’s weird.

“I don’t know. I already know Pharrell really well and Adam’s like my fellow Californian homie, but you are…you’re different and unusual and I mean this in the best way possible.”

Blake chuckles. “I don’t know how to take that, even when you say it like that.”

“Just take it as a compliment, cowboy. I’m trying to say I’ve never met anyone like you before and I never knew how much I needed to until now.”

He looks down at her, realizing she opted for barely any make-up. It’s refreshing to see her not worry too much about her appearance, because she doesn’t have to try at all. It might sound cheesy, but her beauty radiates wherever she’s at, whoever she’s around. He never truly got it when people talked about that type of beauty that stops everyone dead in their tracks, but he does now. He experiences it every single time he’s around her.

“You’re so— “

“ _Shit_!” She cuts him off, her eyes widening before her face falls.

“What?” He asks, confused.

“Sorry, it’s just…. there are already people there.” She says softly, eyes darting down to the sand.

Blake looks up behind her and sees the large rocks they were supposed to climb on, already occupied by a group of people who had the same idea.

“Maybe we can come back later…” He tries, feeling the disappointment falling off her.

“Maybe.” She says, voice quiet. “I just really wanted to spend some alone time with you there. I don’t think we can just join them and keep the rumours at bay.”

Blake bites at the inside of his cheek.

“Probably not.”

She sighs. “We should just go back. Adam and Pharrell are at the pool.”

“Are you sure?” He asks, trying to gauge her feelings but finding it hard to read her in this moment.

She looks up at the sky with big eyes, the freedom and stretches of blue above her making her momentarily zone out. He doesn’t urge her for more, just waits her out until her eyes find his again.

“I don’t want to stay here.” She responds, linking her arm with his. “We’ll go back another time.”

Despite hearing the disappointment in her voice, he walks back to the resort with her. He’s a bit confused too, because as much as he knows there’s something brewing between them, it’s hard to exactly pinpoint what. He wants to spend as much time with her as he can, but didn’t expect the level of disappointment from her necessarily. That’s still Gwen Stefani who has her arm linked with his, her mind set on spending time with him. He can’t help but feel like there’s an expiration date on all of this. It’s becoming clearer with the day that whenever that moment arrives, it will hurt him more than he lets on.

Fucking Adam Levine might be right after all.

The pool is deserted except with a group of people in the back; Adam, Pharrell and Carson nowhere to be found.

“Didn’t Adam say he’d be here?” Gwen asks softly, scanning her surroundings.

Blake nods. “I heard it too. Maybe they went to get lunch?”

“Gwen, Blake!” They both turn their head at the same time to greet Carson, their arms unlinking. “I was wondering when you two were gonna show up.”

Blake catches Gwen’s gaze just in time to see her blush a little.

“We were craving some good company for a change.” Blake jokes, chuckling at Carson’s dramatic display over his comment.

“Ouch. Well, Pharrell and Adam had a similar idea it seems.”

“Where are they?” Blake asks.

“They went to work on some music. You know how it is with you artists; an idea hits and they drop everything else immediately. They won’t be coming out of that room today.”

“What are you gonna do?” Gwen asks Carson, a hint of curiosity masked as something else.

“To be honest, Siri called last night and asked if I wanted to come home a bit earlier. She’s been having a rough time and leaving her alone with the kids right now didn’t feel too good to begin with. I might just pack up and leave tonight.”

“Oh, you kidding?” Blake comments sympathetically. “You know if you need anything, I’m here.”

He pats Carson on the shoulder twice, showing his support in the best way he knows how.

“I know, thank you man.” Carson replies, hugging Blake briefly. “I hope you guys don’t mind being on your own for today. I’m gonna head back to the room, make some calls to get my return flight in order.”

“Of course.” Gwen says, nodding. “Call us if you need anything.”

Carson nods. “Will do.”

The sky above them is bright blue, with not a single cloud in sight. The sun beats down on his skin hotly, but it’s Gwen’s gaze on him that really makes him sweat.

“It’s gonna be just us today.” Gwen remarks softly, shuffling on her feet a little.

After all the time they’d spent together already, the last thing he wants her to be is nervous. He turns around and makes sure no one is paying attention to them before stepping closer to her. She looks surprised but not bothered and he takes the opportunity to cradle the side of her face with his fingers.

“Show me the flyer again.” He says softly, his eyes sparkling with the demand.

She frowns but obeys, reaching into her pocket and unfolding the piece of plasticised paper.

Blake takes it from her hands and studies it for a moment, before nodding to a specific paragraph. Gwen takes the hint and lets her own eyes scan over the area.

“ _Great tour around some of the largest ruins. Built on a cliff at the seas edge_ …. “She reads, a sudden hint of excitement painting her face. “ _Beautiful and mysterious, decorated with towering pyramids._ ”

“And only a forty-minute drive with a private car.” Blake notes.

“Is the whole tour private?” She asks, biting her lip. “I’m just not ready for people to see us together and speculate.”

He smiles softly. “I know that. I’m not sure if it’s completely private, but there’s no reason we can’t ask. We’ll go to the reception and make sure that it is before we say yes. What do you say?”

He feels beyond proud of himself as he takes in her large smile. He can tell the disappointment from earlier is quickly fading and he likes the sight enough to suppress any of his lingering fears as well.

The car had stopped twenty minutes ago, leaving them to their own devices after the tour guide had given them most of the historic background.

Light shines through the branches, shadowy figures stretching across the ancient ruins. What was left stood powerfully, defying gravity in many ways. It looked like a scene straight out of a picture book, but it was nothing but the sight of Gwen Stefani gazing around the edge of the destroyed city that truly took his breath away.

“You like it?”

He stands closely next to her, looking over the edge at the ruins that lay beneath.

“It’s beautiful here, Blake.”

His eyes never leave the side of her face as he hums. “It truly is.”

She doesn’t even seem to notice his blatant flirting, to entranced with the sight in front of her. He doesn’t mind either, it kind of makes it all that much better.

“Can you believe that in a week from now we’ll back in LA? Or Oklahoma for you.”

The distinction in places makes him feel some type of way and he wonders if she expects to still have something with him by the time they get back. Right now, he’s not confident enough to ask.

“Let’s not think about that right now, okay?” He asks softly, getting her attention. “We’re here now. That’s all that matters.”

She smiles. “You’re right. So, what do you want to do?”

His brow raises before a big smile erupts on his lips. “Well, I was thinking we could walk a bit further, up there…” He points with his fingers to the stoned stairs in front of them. “I thought we could get up there and sit and appreciate the view for a while. Roberto said we have an hour and a half before we need to catch the ride back.”

“What happened to not liking heights and climbing?” She teases.

“I figured that if I get scared, I can just use that to get some extra hugs from you.”

She snorts. “You shouldn’t have told me that. Now you’re not getting any.”

“Yeah I will.” He shoots back, extending his hand so they can link their fingers while they walk.

“This is crazy.” She whispers, her head resting against his shoulder while she sits in between his legs. Even from where they were sitting, they could only see buildings in decay; light illuminating the relics and emphasizing the moment in time where these buildings ceased to exist. To architecture, this place must resemble the end of some things, but to him, this moment feels like the beginning of something entirely. “I’ve never seen anything like this before.”

“Me neither.” He admits, his gaze going from Gwen’s body pressed against him to the unintended gorgeous creations surrounding them.

“Back home, I’m lucky when I get to see the beach. Most days I’ve just been hanging at home with my kids or crying my eyes out in the studio.”

Blake lets his thoughts on that linger in the air for a moment, holding her tightly in his arms. He has a lot he wants to say to that, especially the part about her crying, but he feels like things might be more beneficial to her if he just lets her talk. If there’s one thing he’s learning about the gorgeous rockstar, it’s that she’s all talk when she lets down her guard.

“Both places I _obviously_ love.” She continues. “My children are the best thing in the world and being in the studio is a close second. But I honestly can’t remember the last time I got to inhale deeply and just smell air. And not the polluted air we breathe in LA either.”

“That’s why I love Oklahoma so much. It’s maybe not as breathtaking as this place right here, but it’s good enough. It’s quiet, secluded and most importantly, _freeing_.”

Gwen hums. “I have a love-hate relationship with that word.”

“Why?”

“Everyone is so obsessed with freedom as if it’s only something you can obtain on your own, away from everyone else. That’s not freedom to me.”

“It can be nice to not have any responsibilities, or anyone to answer to for a while.”

“I like certain responsibilities.” She says softly, her hand laying over his knee and he wonders if she’s aware she’s doing it at all. “Do you think of love as a responsibility, Blake?”

He ponders over her question for a few minutes before answering her truthfully.

“I do, yeah. You have the responsibility to uphold that love someone got accustomed to. I think giving someone a taste of what your love is like and then ripping it away from them is brutal. I’ve done that before and I’ve had it done to me too. I’ve been on both sides of the spectrum and that’s why I can honestly say that both times, I’ve felt the intense responsibility of love.”

“I don’t believe in love as a responsibility. I think love in itself is supposed to be freeing, it’s supposed to give you a sense of freedom, and a sense of direction. It’s not supposed to shackle you or make you feel like you have to give any of that up to be happy.”

He knows it’s dangerous to take in her words as seriously as he does, because each time she opens her mouth he falls a little harder. It’s as if someone personified all his hopes and wishes into one person.

“Maybe I’m just more pessimistic than you.”

She laughs quietly under her breath, shaking her head. “You’re probably just less naïve.”

“I don’t think you’re naïve.”

“Blake, I let myself get cheated on for twenty years. You don’t have to butter me up, I know what I am.”

Her tone of voice changes drastically and he’s no longer feeling at peace listening to her. He looks over her shoulder, waiting for his gaze to burn hot enough for her to look up.

“Gwen, you didn’t _let_ him cheat on you. He did that because he’s an asshole and you tried to fix things for years. You were willing to sacrifice a piece of your happiness for your kids, for the sake of your family, for _him_. If there’s one thing and one thing only you’re guilty of, it’s of having too big of a heart.”

“Why do you always say this stuff to me?” She asks, whisking away a tear. “Now I’m crying again.”

His hand replaces hers, his head softly nuzzling her neck in the process. “You just aren’t used to anyone telling you the truth baby girl. That ends now.”

She mutters something under her breath, turning around in his arms.

“Do you think we’re alone?” She asks, the eerie quietness surrounding them quick to answer her question.

“This is a private tour, remember.”

“Kiss me.”

His eyes widen, but his hands subconsciously reach for her hips. “Are you sure?”

“Oh my god stop being dumb and kiss me.”

He chuckles, unable to resist such a plea.

Normally he’d be a little more cautious to have a pretty woman crawl onto his lap in public, but right now he couldn’t care less. His hands go to her lower back to keep her close and his tongue strokes hers passionately. Her hands go everywhere from his chest, to his face, to his hair. He’s finding out he’s got a serious thing for Gwen’s long nails grazing through his curls.

“You’re killing me.” He whispers against her lips before getting another taste. He nips and sucks at her bottom lip, deepening it after a few minutes of mindless pecks.

“You’re the one who’s basically _groping_ me right now.” She teases softly, her hands pressing at the back of his head.

“Shut up.”

He knows she’s only joking, because except for his mouth, he keeps his hands very safe, not straying too far from her back. He wants to touch her everywhere, roam her body and feel every single curve beneath his fingertips but he knows he won’t be able to stop them if he lets things go that far.

“You know what I want?” She asks hotly against his ear, causing him to shiver.

He doesn’t think he can handle her answer and would much rather focus on continuing to kiss the breath out of her.

“Don’t even tell me.” He whines, panting against her lips and claiming them again.

“I want to get some drinks tonight.” She smiles, holding him off from kissing her again. His lips pout as she keeps her fingers securely pressing against them. “In your room.”

His eyes widen and she must notice the way his pout drops from behind her fingers. He catches her smug chuckle before she releases him.

“Why my room?” He asks dumbly.

“Because….” She drags the one syllable out, biting her lip. “We can drink in peace, and if I feel the need to make out with you a few times there will be absolutely _nothing_ stopping us. Am I right?”

“I don’t think I have the strength to stop anything at this point.” He shudders out, hoping she’s not too offended by the erection he’s sporting against her thigh.

“Good.” She smiles devilishly.

“Since you insist on killing me tonight, I think it’s only fair I tell you this….” He whispers, beckoning her closer before speaking against her plump lips. “You’re buyin’.”


	12. Chapter 12

With a bottle of Four Roses in one hand and a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc in the other, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“What happened to letting me pay?” She asks playfully, walking inside his hotel room as he holds the door open with his foot.

“I was just kidding. There’s no way I’m letting a lady pay for her own drinks. I’m not that drunk yet.”

She scoffs. “You know I don’t need you to be that chivalrous all the time, right? I can pay for my own stuff.”

“I know you can.” He shrugs, letting door fall shut behind him and setting the newly bought bottles of alcohol on the counter. “But around me, you don’t _have_ to. There’s a difference.”

She shakes her head but gives up on fighting him on it. She watches as Blake takes off his jacket, his jeans and t-shirt appearing slightly too hot for today’s weather. She fights the urge to make a comment about it, not wanting to sound too eager on watching him take off his clothes.

“You okay?” He asks, obviously catching her staring.

She clears her throat. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. Do you have glasses in here?” She distracts away from the impure thoughts clouding her mind. “Or do we have to drink straight from the bottle?”

Blake smirks. “Is that what you think of me? Hillbilly from the south must drink his alcohol straight from the bottle?”

“What no, I didn’t mean— “

“I’m messing with you, Gwen.” His smile gets even wider before he approaches her and places a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Relax a little, will you? It’s just me.” 

She doesn’t know what’s wrong with her right now. Going to his room for drinks was _her_ idea and now she feels like she’s going insane with anxiety coursing through her body. None of her fears are expected ones either; she’s not afraid of taking it too far tonight, she’s afraid that he might not want to. Rejection is a feeling she’s gotten so accustomed to over the years and if there’s one thing she doesn’t want, it’s to feel it from Blake. If she can just avoid that, she’ll be good. 

At the end of the day, Blake doesn’t know her that well. He sees a version of her that’s impossible to uphold forever. In reality, she’s a mom of three who struggles to make things right for them right now. In reality, she’s a woman who’s been left for better girls and who carries twenty years’ worth of damage. It will take him one good look at her for all that to fall into place and for his legs to carry him out of the door faster than she can say goodbye. 

“I’m sorry.” She says softly, looking behind him so she doesn’t have to see the worrisome glance in his eyes. “Where did you say you kept the glasses again?”

His hand touches her cheek before tipping her chin up. “I’m not letting you drink whatever this is away. Talk to me please.”

“It’s nothing. I want to be here.”

He smirks. “Who are you trying to convince right now?”

She sighs deeply, feeling like pulling away from his touch and leaning more into it. She stays stock still, not moving an inch.

“You don’t think this is a mistake?”

His eyes bore into hers, his expression faltering into a confused, nervous one. She hates herself for putting that there but she needs to have this conversation now before she goes crazy.

“I thought we agreed on spending some time together, no pressure....”

“But is there really no pressure?” She challenges, swallowing. “I like spending time with you, Blake. But what if you change your mind about wanting that, am I just supposed to not care? Cause I can’t do that. I do care and that brings pressure. No matter how slow we take things.”

Blake bites his lip and she watches the thin flesh disappear between his teeth.

“I care too, Gwen and I’m not gonna change my mind about wanting to spend time with you.”

She scrapes her teeth over her bottom lip, eyes slipping closed in front of him. She can still see his worried expression flashing behind her eyes.

“Okay.” She whispers.

“Look, let me just put these bottles in the fridge and I’ll walk you back to your room. This is obviously a bit too much for you right now.” He begins to say, walking away from her.

“No.” She pipes up, grabbing his wrist.

He looks down at her fingers circling his arm and shoots her a confused look.

“I don’t want to go our separate ways right now.” She says softly, blushing. “I don’t want to be alone and I really do want to have some drinks with you if you’re still up for that as well.”

“I just don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with. That’s not what I’m here for.”

“What _are_ you here for?” She counters, her finger softly tracing the vein on his wrist.

“Right now? I’m here for you. I’m here for whatever you need okay?”

She looks up at him and then wraps both arms around his waist. Her face gets pressed into his chest by the movement and she inhales his musky scent, paired with the cologne she could recognize from miles away.

Her fingers ball into fists clutching the dark blue cotton of his shirt. “Sorry for freaking out.”

“You don’t have to apologize for that.” He says, rubbing her back. “You’re just trying to make sense of a lot of things at once. It’s okay for that to become overwhelming sometimes.”

“Does it overwhelm you too?”

He brushes his lips across her forehead and nods. “All the time.”

“You always look so…. composed. So happy.” She muses softly, closing her eyes when she feels him playing with her hair a little.

He chuckles. “You’re just not there when I have my bad nights.”

“I wish I were. I don’t like you being all alone when you’re feeling sad.”

“I don’t think my nights would ever be so sad if you were there.” He says lowly, fingers stilling against her hair.

She figures he might’ve let something slip he didn’t mean to and she doesn’t know whether to draw further attention to it or not. She decides not to, giving both of their vulnerable hearts a bit of a break.

“Drinks?” Blake asks with a hint of playfulness, pulling away from her.

“Yeah.” She nods, missing his bodily warmth.

She sits on the edge of his bed, trying not to freak out too much about that fact. She can tell Blake’s eyes linger on her frame on his matrass a little too long and she tries to suppress the sudden heat coursing through her body. If she’s honest with herself, she’s been waiting for this moment ever since they sat surrounded by ruins earlier today. Maybe even longer.

“Wine or bourbon?” He asks, holding up both bottles.

She bites her lip. “I’ll have whatever you’re having.”

“Bourbon it is, ma’am.”

She smiles softly, looking away from him to gaze across the large room. He still hasn’t unpacked his large travel bag and she’s quite sure he never will. Maybe it’s an artist thing; always traveling, never unpacking.

“There you go.” He says sweetly, handing her a glass of gold liquor.

The bed dips slightly when he takes a seat next to her, gaze going to the ceiling.

“We should make a toast.” He comments, nudging her with his shoulder.

“To what exactly?”

He ponders over the question for a few seconds.

“Second chances?”

She bites her lip and nods. “To second chances.”

He clinks their glasses together before taking a large sip, his face screwing up once the dark and heady taste fills his mouth and throat.

“Trying to get drunk cowboy?” She chuckles while taking a small sip of her own, immediately squinting her eyes. “Man, that stuff is strong.”

“I don’t get drunk.” He winks. “And yeah, it’s supposed to be.”

“Everyone gets drunk.”

“Not me. I’m a pro at handling my liquor. Don’t act surprised.”

“You know what’s gonna happen when you get wasted tonight, right?” She teases, eyebrows wiggling. “I’ll be recording and using it against you for the rest of your life.”

He laughs. “That means you’ll have to stick around forever, so I win.”

Instead of responding to his playful dig, she finds herself blushing and taking a large sip of her drink. The alcohol coats her throat nicely when it goes down and momentarily distracts her from the sweet sentiment that just left his lips unknowingly.

“What do you think about Adam and Pharrell working together suddenly?” Blake asks, shifting on the bed so he’s partially laying on his side.

“I think they’re both very lucky. I know Pharrell is a talented genius and Adam is amazing as well. They’ll create something magical together, I’m sure.”

“You and Pharrell— _that’s_ magic.” Blake notes, swallowing his Bourbon once more. “Adam and Pharrell is just…I don’t even think _Pharrell_ can save him.”

Gwen giggles. “Are you saying Pharrell saved me?”

“No, you saved him.”

“Don’t be mean.” She scolds him playfully.

Blake stands up suddenly, causing the bed to dip again. “Catch up, Goldie.” He pours himself another glass, smirking at her.

“I’m sorry I’m not _gulping_ down mine.” She laughs, sipping carefully. “How are you through your first glass already?”

“It’s called talent.”

“And what’s up with Goldie?” She giggles.

He brings the bottle back to the bedside and places it on the nightstand.

“It was either that or Blondie. Since you dyed your hair by your own hands, you’re not officially a blondie though. Plus, Goldie just sounds more sophisticated; I don’t think you deserve anything less.”

Her brow raises. “You really thought about this, huh?”

“I did. I think about you all the time, _Goldie_.”

Again, her cheeks redden with a blush.

“I like that look on you.” Blake smirks, voice low and husky. “You’re cute when you blush.”

“Oh my god.” She whimpers, letting her back hit the matrass while her hand covers her eyes. “Stop it, please.”

“I’m not doing anything.” He chuckles.

“You are, you’re embarrassing me.”

“Oh is that what I’m doing?” He retorts and she can still feel his eyes on her.

“Yes.” She hisses, though the smile on her face is apparent.

“Want another one?” He asks and her eyes open to realize her glass is bordering on empty. She didn’t know when it happened, but she nods regardless, waiting on her refill.

Blake pours her another one.

“Thank you.” She smiles.

“Tell me something.” His eyes flicker while he addresses her, hands fidgeting with the sleeves of his shirt. “Why were you so determined to spend time with me today?”

She bets he can see the wheels turning in her head, the answer to that question feeling like entering dangerous territory.

“Adam and Pharrell were spending time together, Carson is planning on going home…. that leaves just us, cowboy.”

It’s a cop out, they both know it.

Blake hums. “It does. I just got the feeling there was more than that.”

She bites her lip, itching to reveal more. It’s just that once she does, there’s no turning back and she doesn’t know if either one of them are ready for that. Things up until this point have been easy and slightly messy. She can’t even begin to imagine what would happen if she were to drop a bomb onto that fragile foundation right now.

But those blue eyes and dimples have a way of weakening all her defences.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about that night.” She says, knowing he’ll be on the same page regarding which night she’s talking about. The quick nod of his head shows her she’s right. “I don’t know what any of it meant, I feel like I don’t know anything, but my gut was telling me not to ignore it.”

Blake smiles. “I think I like your gut, keep listening to it please.”

“It has steered me wrong a bunch of times.” She admits, the scared and fragile statement leaving her lips quickly.

“Maybe this time it’s steering you right.”

She takes one last sip of her drink before setting on the nightstand, big eyes looking up at his.

“Do you think so?”

He just nods once and she’s not sure if the sudden confidence comes from their talk tonight or the drinks he has consumed, but he’s moving in closer before his lips capture hers in a slow but mesmerizing kiss.

Her arm reaches for the back of his neck, pulling him with her as she lets her back hit the bed below her. His broad frame hovers over her on the matrass, his elbows braced on each side of her body. She realizes as he lays over her that the muscles in his back and arms are much more refined than she initially would’ve thought, making her pull him into her even harder.

She hasn’t been kissed by too many people in her life, but she’s sure no one could’ve ever made her feel like this.

His tongue slides along the seam of her lips and she can taste the alcohol off him, taking the kissing until you’re drunk saying to the next level. She can smell the scent of earth and a manly cologne as he’s so deliciously pressed against her. She can feel the undeniable press of his erection against her thigh and her core stirs in response.

“Condoms?” She whispers while already being in the process of unbuttoning his shirt and pulling it off his shoulders.

“God, Gwen, are you sure you wanna do this?” He breathes, his mouth nipping at the skin on her neck.

She’s already breathless when she nods, knowing she can’t wait any longer to feel him in that way. The way she’s felt around Blake these last few days has been so special and foreign, she can’t imagine not going there tonight.

He curses under his breath when she grabs at his erection over his pants, palming him as she shoots him a wicked smile. It seems to be the last of his control, her clothes being shred in record time before he's admiring her naked body underneath him.

“Blake.” She says softly, feeling herself colour with the slight blush.

It’s been over two decades since anyone but her ex-husband has seen her naked and as much as she wants this moment to happen, she can’t help but be in her head about it.

“You’re beautiful.” He says as if he can read her mind, giving her a slow and deep kiss to punctuate his words.

He pulls away the next second to hook his fingers under the waistband of his underwear, finally bearing all to her and she feels her mouth go dry. It’s been a while since she’s had sex and she’s sure he can see the anticipation rising inside her. She scoots further up the bed and smiles when Blake slowly but steadily crawls up the length of her and blankets himself over her.

He pecks her lips again before reaching his hand to the nightstand, a gold foil wrapper between his fingertips.

She bites her lip while watching him, pushing down any sour feelings she feels at the fact that he brought those with him at all – the thought of him using them with anyone else, or even having _thought_ about the possibility, stirring an unjust feeling of jealousy in her stomach.

That feeling disappears quickly when his hands reach for her thighs, spreading her out a little. She bites her lip while locking her arms around the back of his neck, kissing him again.

“If you need to slow down, just tell me.” He whispers against her.

She smiles against his mouth and lets him run his hands over her spread legs, feeling the head of his erection pressing against her. Her head falls back to the pillow as he drives forward gently, reaching down between their bodies to guide himself carefully inside of her.

She’s always enjoyed sex, but never like this and the sigh that escapes her after he breaches her is one of relief, not pain. Blake smiles at her while moving inside of her, his eyes a shade of blue she’s never seen before. Her arms tighten around his neck, pushing him closer and demanding another kiss. He complies immediately, the slow but thorough rhythm of his hips making her tremble.

His hand smooths some hair back from her face, driving forward into her.

“You okay?” He whispers, always attentive, even now.

“Yes.” She breathes, rocking her hips up at him. “Don’t stop.”

He pushes deeper at her words, the groan that leaves his mouth drowned out by her own moan. It had been way too long since she was made to feel like this, unfamiliar even.

The feeling low in her gut keeps building while he kisses her softly but passionately, his hips never still. He moves down to her neck to nip at her skin softly, his tongue easing the sting right after. Her hips buck again and her body stiffens underneath him, one of her hands falling down to the matrass. “ _Oh God_.”

He murmurs something hoarsely in response, but she can’t even focus on it any longer. Her whole body feels like it’s in overdrive, her senses on overload as he keeps thrusting into her. His pace quickens for a bit when he realizes she’s teetering on the edge, his decision to move his hips in a slightly different angle eventually causing her to fall off.

She digs her nails in his shoulder when she lets go, the hissing sound from Blake followed by his loud grunt, letting her know he has reached the same heights. She keeps him pressed against her afterwards and he continues to move slowly, prolonging the pleasure and intimacy of the moment.

When he finally quiets, and stills completely, her body is shivering and spend. Her eyes close briefly while he tucks his face into the crook of her neck.

This man just made love to her until she saw stars and she still can’t get enough of his closeness. Her arms tighten around his back to make sure he stays laying on top of her.

“How are you real?” He whispers softly, his voice against her skin causing her to shudder again, making him chuckle.

“Sorry.”

“Not a bad shudder.” She says quickly, playing with the hairs at the back of his neck. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

His face lifts from her shoulder, his brow furrowing.

“Did you think I was gonna kick you out after this?”

She bites her lip, unsure of _what_ she thought.

His gaze softens and his arm pushes him off her to lay on his side, his hand pulling at the sheets until it’s covering them both.

“Come here.” He says sweetly, shaking his head. She crawls back against him, her chest flush against his and his arm coming around her to tuck her closer. “I wasn’t planning on letting you leave tonight.”

Though he can’t see it, she smiles against his naked chest in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this wasn’t horrible...


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me less than a month this time!

She tries to be extra quiet as she squirms out of his arms, her clothes scattered all over the hotel room floor.

Blake is still snoring lightly, his face scrunching as his arms are no longer touching her and it’s both incredibly endearing as it’s scary.

She hasn’t been intimate with anyone besides her ex-husband in twenty years and the thought of Blake already missing her in his sleep is too much to think about.

She continues the search for her clothes, debating on whether or not to use the bathroom before she goes.

Deciding she can do that in her own room, she grabs her shoes and tiptoes towards the door.

“You’re forgetting your purse.”

She gasps at the shock of hearing his voice, turning around with a guilty look on her face.

Blake looks at her softly, still groggily from his slumber.

“I’m sorry.”

“I hoped your regret wouldn’t settle in until a little later, but I guess you’re ripping the bandage off quickly. That’s good.”

She picks up her purse from the small sofa and shakes her head.

“I didn’t want to make things awkward. I don’t know how... this is weird for me, Blake.”

He sits up a bit straighter, eyes honing in on her ruthlessly.

“Don’t you think it’s strange for me too?”

“I don’t know if this is something you’ve done before but I haven’t. I can’t just pretend like this is something normal, like this is something I can just get used to. I was married for twenty years god damnit.”

“You have some years on me when it comes to being married, yes. But for your information, you’re the first woman I’ve been intimate with since my divorce as well. This isn’t easy for me either but I’m trying.”

She swallows roughly, regret filling her quickly. Though it’s not about what she’s done with Blake, it’s about how she _reacted_ to it.

“Blake, I’m sorry.”

“You said that already.”

She sighs. “No, I mean I’m sorry for taking it out on you. I don’t regret what happened between us.”

“You’re sneaking away because you had such a great time last night?” He chuckles sarcastically, unaware of the fact that’s _exactly_ what she was doing.

“Please don’t be angry with me.” She begs, her feet carrying her back to his bedside. “I wouldn’t be able to handle it if you were.”

His features seem to soften with her gentle admission, his lips parting slightly.

She lowers her purse on the nightstand and sits herself down on his mattress, despite her urge to flee a few moments earlier.

“I don’t want to argue with you and I definitely don’t want to hurt you.” She says, finding his gaze. “I’m just so confused and I feel like I have nothing good to offer you right now. I wish you hadn’t met me during the worst time of my life. I wish I could give you the best version of myself.”

His hand seeks out hers, his large palm engulfing her fingers and squeezing.

“The version you’re showing me right now is absolutely enough for me, Gwen.”

She smiles sadly.

“You’ve got girls throwing themselves at you wherever you go.” She whispers. “I’m not trying to compete with that.”

“Then don’t.” He states pointedly, stroking his thumb across the top of her hand.

“How can I not?” She asks. “I’m not the type to do this and then not care.”

“I’m not asking you not to care. The opposite actually— I’m _begging_ you to care. Just not about other women. I want you to care about this, about us.”

She sighs deeply, feeling the panicky feeling spreading through her chest again.

“What are we even doing?”

He shrugs, taking some time to ponder over her question.

“I don’t know. We’re trying to feel good again together. I don’t see how that’s wrong.”

“Like a rebound?”

The words leave her lips with a strange undertone, the words so unlike her.

“I wouldn’t call it that.”

“What _would_ you call it?” She presses.

He rubs the back of his neck with his free hand.

“I don’t know, Gwen. You’re just as clueless as I am. I just know I don’t want to stop doing what we’ve been doing. I don’t want to stop hanging out with you.”

“Hanging our with me or sleeping with me?”

His brow raises and she can tell his patience is slowly dissolving.

“Damnit Gwen, stop trying to paint me out to be the bad guy. I know believing that would make it easier for you to walk away, but if that’s what you want, please try to find the courage to do so _without_ smearing my name.”

Her breathing gets stuck in her throat, not because he’s wrong but because he’s being so incredibly straightforward with her.

“I’m freaking out here.” She panics, not even aware she’s saying the words out loud.

Before he can even get another word in, she’s jumping up off the bed and paces back and forth in his hotel room.

“Gwen....”

“I like you, I mean I think that’s obvious isn’t it? I don’t spend _this_ much time with people I don’t like and I definitely don’t sleep with them. I left LA feeling like I had nothing left to give and I end up giving too much of myself to _you_. Do you know how that feels?” She shakes her head, her rant nowhere near done as more words spill past her lips. “I’m broken and insecure and damaged. I don’t want to make that your problem, Blake. You still look at me with respect and I don’t want that to change. I’ve seen that change in my ex husband’s eyes and nothing hurt me worse. Please I can’t handle that another time, I cannot—“

“Gwen.” His voice sounds much closer this time and when she turns around, he’s standing right there. “You need to calm down.”

“I can’t.” She breathes.

His hands reach for hers, pulling her closer to him gently.

“You’re scared, so am I.” His voice is so gentle and soft, it almost brings her to tears. “That’s why I’m not asking you to date me, I’m not asking you to call your kids and tell them I’m your new boyfriend.”

“What _are_ you asking?”

“The same thing you are, to help each other forget and move on.”

“I don’t want to use you.”

“I don’t want to use you either, I care about you too much.” He says, his eyes portraying nothing but truthfulness. “That’s why I think we can do this. We can be there for each other, in whatever way we want, _because_ we care for each other so much.”

“What about when we go back home?” She asks timidly.

“We can cross that bridge when we get there, don’t you think?”

She bites her lip, the sight of Blake in nothing but his boxers, pleading with her to not freak out, something she never thought she’d see.

“It’s hard for me to think when you’re looking like that.” She says softly.

Blake chuckles.

“Then don’t think so much. You’re gonna hurt that pretty head of yours.”

She scoffs. “I actually already have a headache.”

His eyes twinkle with mischief before his arms swoop her up and throw her back onto the bed. She yelps and giggles when he chases her down and covers her body with his own.

“Thankfully, I know _just_ the right cure for that.”

  
  


Carson takes another shot, the sight of him already starting to lean on the cowboy for support making Gwen giggle.

They’re celebrating their last night together at the resort, as Carson has his flight booked for tomorrow morning, going back home to his wife and kids.

“To an unforgettable holiday with my favorite set of coaches.” Carson toasts before throwing back his shot, squinting his eyes as he does so.

“Can you say that again? I want to get that statement on the record.” Blake jokes.

“Stop trying to get him fired.” Adam laughs, throwing back a shot of his own.

Gwen’s the only one who hasn’t thrown one back yet, feeling partially hungover from the night before with Blake and enjoying being the only one sober enough to actually remember this evening.

“Blake, you’re a son of a bitch.” Carson laughs loudly, pushing him away in a jokingly fashion.

The cowboy throws his hands up. “Fine. I’ll just go stand over there with Gwen. She’s much better company anyway.... and _much_ prettier.”

Gwen blushes slightly, shaking her head while she watches him approach her.

“That reminds me, anything you two want to share with the group?” Carson smiles, the smug look on his face showing he’s taking joy in embarrassing them.

Gwen’s cheeks flush immediately, feeling like the rug has been pulled from underneath her. She knows Carson meant well, but her lungs struggle to inhale air as she’s being put on the spot like this.

“Yeah there is one thing....” Blake says with a careless shrug. “We were wondering if we could replace _you_ next season. Gwen and I both agree it’s time for an upgrade.”

“I hate you.” Carson sputters, yet he can’t help but sport a smile.

“The feeling is mutual. Glad we got that out of the way; Gwen and I were feeling slightly bad for keeping it from ya for so long.”

With the boys engaging in mindless banter and laughter, Gwen finally feels some oxygen returning to her.

When Blake turns to look at her again, she mouths a quick _thank you._

“The only time I’ll allow you to get _that_ flustered is when I’m telling you all the things I want to do to you.” He whispers, smirking at her subtle but obvious reaction.

“Oh my god, I need a drink.” She giggles, looking up at him with a faux-disapproving stare.

He just chuckles.

“Atta girl.”

  
  


She’s drinking her cocktail from a straw sticking out of a coconut and she can’t help but smile.

She feels the easiness of tonight settling in, enjoying the way her friends are laughing and joking around, finally feeling like she can let go of everything that’s weighing her down for a bit.

She searches for Blake, already missing his close proximity. She wonders how she’s going to adapt once they’re back home, though she promised Blake not to think too far ahead.

Her smile nearly splits her face when she feels two hands gently touching her shoulders, turning around with an excited quickness.

Her face falls when she’s faced with a more nerve wrecking truth and she takes a step backwards automatically.

“Please, can we go talk somewhere private? I want to apologize for what happened earlier.”

Charlie looks at her adamantly, attempting to step closer to her again.

“Don’t you dare come any closer.”

“I can’t stop thinking about you, or what happened. I need you to know I’m not that man.”

He steps closer again, this time managing to touch her arm and she yanks herself free immediately.

“Touch me again and I’ll scream.”

“Please don’t be dramatic.” He says, eyes narrowing in on her. “I’m trying to apologize.”

She looks around, finding the rest of her friends only a few feet away, still downing shots.

“I don’t want your apology, I don’t want anything from you. Please stay away from me.”

“I know you felt something too that night when we first met. We could’ve talked for hours.”

She shakes her head. “You’re wrong. There’s nothing there between us and I’m not interested in whatever you’re hoping for.”

“You’re starting to piss me off, Gwen.” He looms over her but refrains from touching her this time. “I don’t understand why you gotta make this so hard. It’s unnecessary and this hard to get act of yours doesn’t quite suit you.”

“Go to hell.” She whispers, walking away from him.

His hand on her arm keeps her from going too far and she’s about to scream when Blake forcefully shoves the guy backwards.

“I thought I’d warned you once already.” He growls, coming to stand in between her and Charlie like her personal body guard. “Why the fuck are you still here?”

“Calm down, man. I’m just trying to talk to her.”

“She’s made it very clear she’s not interested, so why don’t you take a hike and stay gone.”

Gwen puts her hand on Blake’s lower back, not because she wants to stop him, but for her own sense of safety.

“What’s going on?” Adam has walked up to them now too, taking notice of the sour situation.

“I’m just telling this jackass here that he needs to leave or I swear on everything holy, it’s the last thing he’ll do.”

Charlie scoffs.

“Really? _This_ is the guy you’re ditching me for?”

“I think you heard him.” Adam says, standing next to Blake, both men like a protective shield in front of her now. “Leave or we’re gonna have a problem.”

“Fine.”

“And don’t come back this time.” Blake hollers after him.

Gwen doesn’t let go of Blake’s shirt until Charlie is all the way out of sight, her chest heaving.

“Oh my god.” She whispers.

“Are you okay?” Blake turns around to face her, his hand cupping her cheek.

His worry for her must make him a little less cautious, not even worried about how it looks to his friend.

“Yeah, I’m okay.” She says softly, closing her eyes. “I just can’t believe he came back.”

“We should tell the resort about him. Shouldn’t they be notified about one of their guests harassing you?”

Gwen shakes her head. “I don’t want to make this a formal complaint.”

“Why not?”

“Because there are enough stories out there about me right now, Adam. I can’t handle another headline leaking to the press. _Gwen Stefani harassed are Cancun resort?_ No thank you.”

“I’m sure they can be diligent.” Adam counters.

“I don’t want it.”

Adam throws his hands up, looking at Blake.

“Talk to her, man.”

Gwen sighs when it’s just her and Blake, his worried glance still on her.

“Please I’m fine. It’s over now.”

His hand touches her cheek again, lifting her gaze up to his.

“Adam might be right, you know?”

“He isn’t. I just want to forget about this and spend time with my friends, without making this a whole drama.”

Blake sighs. “I just want you to be safe.”

“I am.” She whispers and with Blake so close to her, she actually feels like that too.

“I understand if you want to be alone tonight, but—“

“— I don’t actually.”

His brow raises. “No?”

She shakes her head.

“I want to be with you.”

His smile is enough to salvage her whole night.

”Who’s room?”

“Yours.” She whispers, leaning into him to speak into his ear. “Mine doesn’t have booze, _or_ condoms.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo this took way longer than I hoped it would. I had kind of given up on posting again, but thanks to my partner in crime, I found some more inspiration. Thanks Bea xD
> 
> Sorry for the long wait. Hope this doesn't suck too much.

The sheets were still messily tangled around their feet, her breathing unsteady. Their lips were inches apart from each other when Blake stirred again, starting up another round of lovemaking. The taste of wine and cheap beer was heavy on his lips and she soaked it all up. The pile of blankets and pillows on the bed provided another layer of comfort as she’d felt her body being pushed into them every so often.

Her legs are locked behind his back, pushing him in even further. She likes pushing him to the max, feeling all he has to give. She knows Blake is the same way; he likes pushing her further than anyone else ever has, just because he can and because he knows she wants him to. It’s this weird unspoken thing, where they just get each other. Even in the privacy of the bedroom, it appears.

She moans and groans against his mouth, not sure how many hours have passed since they started doing this but it feels like a lifetime. A lifetime without regret or years’ worth of pain. A lifetime she’d have no problem revisiting a million times over.

She realizes the television behind them is muted but still on. She doesn’t even remember why they even bothered with that in the first place, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to control themselves the minute they’d arrive at his room. Booze and condoms, that’s what she told him. That’s what she _needed_. There was no distraction the tv could've provided her that would have been better or more effective than the distraction caused by Blake's body and lips.

She could feel the moment he let go again and her eyes roll back when he takes her with him. She feels empty when he pulls away almost too soon and chucks the overused condom in the trash can next to the bed.

Her body ached, but the good kind, and rolling over to where the sheets were still clean was a breath of fresh air. Still, it's his eyes that truly amaze her and capture her heart.

He rolls onto his back and reaches for the remote control blindly, turning the flat-screen tv off. His arm is greedy when it reaches out for her, not accepting anything less than her body pressed against his side.

“Are you good?”

She chuckles softly, biting her lip and humming.

“What indicates that I’m not?”

“Just askin’.” He shrugs casually.

She nuzzles her head in the space between his chest and ribs and smiles against his sweat ridden flesh when he tightens his hold on her. It’s an incredible feeling to be wanted even after the deed is over, instead of being pushed away or accused of being too needy.

“I just need to check on you, I guess.” He adds later, his voice a bit more subdued. “You’ve been through a lot tonight and we didn’t really talk about it after we got here.”

“I didn’t want to talk. We’ve done enough of that outside of this room. I needed this, Blake.”

She can feel him nod, the simple motion of his head enough to make her exhale. She’s glad he’s accepting her request not to talk about things further. She knows their holiday is close to coming to an end and the last thing she wants to do is spend it with unnecessaries.

“Is this what you had in mind when you came here?” She asks, sliding her hand up his stomach. “Who would’ve thought Cancun would be the end of certain chapters and the beginning of others.”

It silently hurt her a little to know that her beginning of a new chapter would be wildly different from his and no matter how hard she tries not to think about it, it’s hard to forget that _nothing_ will stay the same after this vacation.

She’s getting used to something that’s not meant to last and Blake seems just as determined to keep the fantasy alive a little while longer. She’s sure she’s going to be the one to burst their bubble first, making her the bad guy in _Blake’s_ chapter. It’s something she feels like they both know but aren’t brave enough to face yet. With Blake’s touch and fervent exploration of her body, she’s able to deliberately push it away for another time.

“Nothing about this vacation turned out the way I thought it would.” He replies soon after, grabbing the sheets from around their ankles and draping it over her naked body. He must’ve sensed the goosebumps on her skin.

“But it’s nice, right?”

She hopes he can’t hear the desperate need of affirmation in her voice.

“More than that.” He says. “It’s been necessary.”

She hooks one of her legs over his own. “What’s been necessary cowboy? You’ve been deprived of some good ole lovin’ for too long?”

She was trying to be flirtatious but instead came off much more sentimental and real than she would’ve liked. Blake’s hand slides to her lower back underneath the covers.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

She bites her lip again, silently cursing herself for sucking so bad at this.

Her hand slides up to his face, pulling him down enough so he can meet her for another kiss. She needs to stop talking since it’s obviously not something she’s very good at. She needs to rely on the tricks in her arsenal that she knows _do_ work.

“How are you not tired?” He chuckles against her lips.

“Dunno. I think I’m just obsessed with this.”

“With kissing me?”

He smiles so widely it nearly splits his cheeks. She knows it’s dangerous because she’s starting to love that sight way too much. It’s going to hurt like hell when she’s got to say goodbye to that sight, that face, that man.

She hums. “Yes.”

“That’s an obsession I don’t mind feeding.” He says lowly, using his hand to manhandle her on top of him. Even though her body is hurting from the amount of action its seen tonight, she still can’t imagine doing anything else with their time. She wants to appreciate him until the sun comes up and then a little while longer.

Until there’s nothing left.

__

The sand between her toes has a calming effect on her, the waves crashing onto the shore poetically. She finds herself subconsciously drawing closer to the sea, sitting down once her toes can actually touch the water. There’s barely anyone left on the beach, the sun nearly dipping behind the horizon. Even as a kid, she had a special type of connection to the beach, especially at night. She doesn’t know if it’s because of the memories she holds dear or because of the mystery and gloom the scenery provides. She always liked watching the wonders of the world, making her realize just how small and insignificant everything else was. Even when things feel like the end of _her_ world, the real world won’t even bat an eye.

She hears the loud music behind her from the beach bar, only a few voices heard. She doesn’t feel like joining or even drinking.

Carson had left two days ago and Adam, Blake and Pharrell had been off doing whatever it is they do. She had politely declined their invitation to hang with them today and instead wandered around the beach, spent some time painting her nails in her hotel room and calling her kids.

It was becoming painfully hard to ignore, the end of their vacation only two days away. If she wanted to lessen the sting of this separation at all, she would have to start pulling away now. She would have to create some distance between her and the cowboy, distance she doesn’t want but perhaps needs.

Blake hadn’t made it easy. The way he’d look at her whenever he thought she wasn’t looking or the many times he’d get her alone somewhere to sneak a few hot kisses in, were starting to mess with her mind. How could it possibly be right to break this off, when it feels this good?

If she’s totally honest with herself, she knows this has been a problem of hers forever; she sees what she wants to see for a while and then by the time she’s positively obsessed with someone, she starts seeing the truth. She doesn’t know what it’s like to do casual. Nothing about her being is casual.

She loves hard, falls even harder. She obsesses over every little thing until it becomes a problem and then they leave. Blake hadn’t left her yet, but he will when he finds out what her life is like away from this magical place. Not only is Blake a few years younger than her, he’s also in the prime of his career and significantly less tied down. A rolling stone like the ones they write about in books. His love and life will be one for the history books but she would have to accept her lack of her presence in it. Her story is a separate one and she’d be selfish to try and change that.

“Is it crazy that seeing you sitting here in that dress makes me want to take it right off ya?”

She gasps at Blake’s voice, so completely lost in thought.

Her eyes do a quick one-over and her heart is unable to stop hammering against her chest. He looks so relaxed and handsome. He’s wearing a Hawaiian t-shirt that she’d burn if anyone else decided to wear it but somehow it fit him. His mid- length shorts show his slightly tanned and lightly haired legs and she knows she could climb them for hours, she’s done that before. His hair is wet as if he just took a shower before sauntering over here and it has some of his curls falling attractively across his forehead.

The darkening sky provides him with a shade of added mystique.

“Does it ever scare you how bold you are?” She asks.

The words come out as a mix between playful and snappy and she feels even worse about herself when Blake keeps his smile on his face.

He holds his hand out for her and the moment she takes it, he’s helping her up on her feet.

“Wanna take a walk?” He asks, this time a bit softer.

She can think of a million things she wants, but she’s unsure of what she needs. It’s been a while since someone enamoured her in this way, her heart so obsessed with this man, it’s hard to think about anything or anyone else.

“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea.” She says timidly.

“You’re scared of the dark all the sudden?” Blake teases, his hand not letting go of hers. “It’s okay, I’ll protect you.”

“Blake.”

Her voice must’ve held some firmness to it, because Blake’s smile falters for the first time since laying eyes on him. His hand continues to hold hers, his thumb gracing her palm.

“What’s wrong?”

She inhales deeply, distracted by the simple touch of his finger on her skin.

“What are we doing?”

He looks at her sheepishly. “Today?”

“No, in general. This thing between you and me.”

She can tell he’s taken aback by the sudden turn of events and she misses the warmth of his hand when he lets go.

“Living in the moment….” He says softly. “At least, that’s what I thought we were doing.”

“That’s what I thought we were doing too, but it’s reckless.”

The words tumble out of her mouth so quickly, she couldn’t even stop them if she tried.

“Gwen, we don’t have to make any decisions right now…”

“Yes, we _do_.” She challenges him, her hand raking through her hair. “Decisions are exactly what we need to be making, Blake. We’re going back home in a few days. This fantasy world we’ve been living in for the past two weeks isn’t real, none of this is real. We need to come to terms with that now, not later.”

His face remains so neutral it’s hard for her to read him, until he opens his mouth and lets the worst kind of hurt trickle into his voice.

“None of this was real?”

She can finally see the anguish on his face and she wants to hide from it all.

“You woke up in my bed Gwen, multiple times. You agreed to living in the moment and now you wanna tell me that none of it was real?”

“I have kids, Blake.”

“That’s not what I asked.” He insists, voice and expression rough.

His bluntness takes her by surprise. “Excuse me?”

“That you have kids…” He says simply. “That’s not what I asked. I asked you if none of this was real.”

“And if you were _really_ hearing me right now, you’d realize that I can’t answer that question because I have kids. I have more to think about than some two-week old beach romance.”

His face screws up before letting out a scoff.

“I can tell we’ve really been interpreting this whole thing differently.” He says calmly, diverting his gaze to the ocean. “Sorry for wasting your time.”

“Blake.”

“Hey guys you coming?”

Adam’s voice is cheerful as he approaches them, cocktail in hand.

Blake immediately drops his gaze from her face and looks back at his friend. If he’s even slightly hurt by what just happened, he’s perfectly capable of hiding that from his features. His demeanour looking cheery even.

“Where are we going?” He asks Adam.

“Happy hour at the bar.” The younger superstar exclaims proudly, patting his friend on the arm. “After that, I thought we could haul a cab into town and see if there are some other nightclubs we can try out.”

Blake hums. “You’ve got it all planned out.”

“I don’t know if I’m up for all that.” Her meek voice expresses softly.

“You’re not bailing on us tonight, Gwen.” Adam says strictly, unaware of the tension that’s still hanging in the air around them. “These are our last two days here, let’s make the most of them.”

She knew she wouldn’t be able to count on Blake’s help to get her out of this one, but his complete silence still unnerves her.

“Come on, we’ll get you a cocktail and I promise, you’ll be up for the rest of the night.”

Adam grabs her arm before she can protest and she lets herself get dragged along to the beach bar. She doesn’t want to ruin these last two days, especially since it’s not just her and Blake who are here. Adam deserves to have a good vacation and she won’t ruin that with her own drama.

He slides an ordered cocktail in front of her, the colourful drink not representing her mood.

“Thanks.” She says softly.

Adam squeezes her arm and smiles.

The loud music is quite distracting and Gwen counts her lucky stars for that. She doesn’t have to pretend to listen in to what Blake and Adam are talking about, because she can let her mind drift off to the music.

Every now and then, the bartender refills their drinks and takes some time to make small conversation. Of course the woman who traits shifts with the friendly male bartender after a while, lingers a tad longer while talking to Blake and Adam.

Blake seems especially skilled in maintaining conversation with everyone and his gift of making people feel wanted and heard aren’t just things he reserves for her.

She really promised herself she wouldn’t let herself get dragged to a nightclub later tonight, but by the time Adam makes the suggestion to leave, Gwen’s so fed up with having witnessed Blake’s blatant flirting with the bartender all night, that she couldn’t even get herself to care. She just wanted to leave this bar.

“I’ll call us a cab.” Adam informs them.

He steps away from his two friends at the bar in order to find some more quiet place to make the call. He doesn’t even realize he’s leaving Blake and Gwen behind to fend for themselves through the thick layer of tension.

“I hope you got her number.” Gwen says, never turning her head to look at him.

“Let’s do us both a favour and not do this, okay?”

The finality and strictness in his voice causes her to look up at him, but he’s already pushing himself out of his seat, walking towards Adam.

She waits for Adam to wave her over, making it clear that their cab is here.

She thinks that perhaps Adam is sensing something now, because by the time they settle into the large car, Adam took it upon himself to sit in the back with her, Blake taking the passenger’s seat.

It’s unclear to her how everything managed to go so wrong in the span of a few minutes. This same morning she woke up in Blake’s arms, sharing the same bed. She had felt things she’d never felt before, only for it to end less than twelve hours later. It’s the story of her life, but she’s growing ironically tired of it. It’s a cycle she can’t seem to break and that fills her with dread darker than the colour of the sky outside.

“Nightclub _Elite_ is one of the buzziest places in Cancun.” Their cab driver Aron informs them, his heavy accent making her squint her eyes to hear. “It’s got the best drinks and music.”

“That’s right up Adam’s alley.” Blake jokes, craning his neck to look at his friend in the backseat. “Right?”

“Take us there man.”

“See? He’s so predictable.” Blake continues to joke and talk with their driver and it’s almost maddening in how great of a mood he seems to be.

Before Gwen can drive herself absolutely crazy with frustration, the car comes to a stop and Adam pays their driver in cash. The booming and clustered sound of music is heard all the way from the street and whenever the back door opens, a rush of voices and music gets intensified.

She decides to follow them towards the establishment without saying anything, unsure if her voice will betray how unjustifiably angry she is.

As they pass the bouncer, they all get a red stamp on their hand. It’s a figure that looks like the number seven with the singular word Elite underneath. The music is greatly disrupted each time the DJ reminds people to have a good time.

“Want another drink?” Adam shouts to be heard over the loud music.

Gwen shakes her head while Blake nods fiercely. “I’ll go get ‘em. Think it’s my turn now.”

Adam doesn’t argue with that and leaves Blake with his order, turning his attention back to Gwen.

“It’s okay to let loose a little.” He reminds her, nudging her. “Enjoy yourself, it’s what you came here to do, right?”

She smiles pained, her chest feeling painfully constricted. She wants to confide in Adam and tell him about what happened. He knows Blake the best and probably could have some tips on how to handle him. But she’s not ready to admit to anyone that this thing between them meant so much to her and she doesn’t want to see the pity on his face when she tells him she just singlehandedly ruined the best thing she had going for her.

“You’re right.” She says in response, her line of vision going to the bar knowing Blake’s there. Even from a distance she can tell that he’s smiling, talking to whoever is behind the bar, getting their drinks ready.

Adam follows her gaze. “He’s in a good mood.”

The confirmation from their friend only serves to upset her more.

“He is.”

“I haven’t seen him this chatty in a while. Does it bother you when he flirts?”

Gwen’s breath hitches, but she tries not to show how greatly affected she is by Adam’s question. Her eyes widen. “No, why would I be?”

“You guys were hitting it off, right?” Adam continues, unknowingly. “He told me you two went on a few dates, spent some time together.”

“He can flirt with whoever he wants.” She shrugs in hopes of coming across a bit more believable. “We’re just friends.”

Adam frowns but lets it go quickly. Part of her thinks Adam might be relieved to know there’s nothing more going on. He might be nice, but he’s not stupid. Dating a co-worker, especially right after they experienced a divorce, is a recipe for disaster. He was just nice enough not to express that earlier.

Blake comes back with their drinks and hands a blue colored cocktail to Adam.

“Don’t go to the bar.” He tells Adam with a smile. “I think that girl is ready to make a move on ya. The whole time she just couldn’t believe _Adam Levine_ just stepped inside Elite.”

“You’re shitting me? The whole time you were standing there you were talking about _me_?”

“Well, I think I scored points for being your best friend, but I could see right through that.” He tells Adam playfully.

“Sorry man, guess this time your flirtation just wasn’t a match for my awesomeness.”

“It’s okay, I think I’ve had enough of meaningless relations for a while.” He jokes back, sipping on his own drink.

Adam seems a bit confused by the joke, but Gwen feels the words as a punch to the gut.

She’s finding out two things about Blake when he’s angry. He becomes incredibly petty and remains infuriatingly calm throughout it. If she wondered if he cared about what had happened earlier on the beach, she finally got her answer.

He never tried to hide it either, she just had to open her eyes to see it. He’s angry because he’s hurt and in that, he’s hurting her too.

The music is overbearingly loud though and soon enough they give up on trying to have conversation. Adam and Blake decide to finish their drinks in the back, while Gwen decides to just give the dancefloor a try. It’s not like she’s exactly excited to sit next to Blake for a few hours.

She remains mostly on her own, with the occasional guy who’ll try to make conversation. She brushes it all off and gets lost in her own little world. A hand on her lower back makes her flinch as she’s ready to rip someone a new one for touching her, when it turns out to Blake’s hand.

She feels her whole body break out in goosebumps as he comes up behind her. “Adam got a call from Bee. She had a shit day and really wants to call him. We’re not staying much longer.”

He speaks the words close to her ear, making sure the music doesn’t drown out his words.

She swallows roughly. “You have to stand _this_ close to tell me that?”

Blake just chuckles, appearing to see right through her act.

“You’ve been dancing on your own for about forty minutes, what’s that about?”

“Maybe I just want to be alone.”

“Is that why you decided to spend this whole vacation flirting with me? Cause you wanted to be alone?”

She turns around abruptly, unprepared for how she’s basically pressed against his chest when she does.

“Can you stop being so rude about this?” She hisses, knowing her request is unfair.

“How am I supposed to act?” He throws back. “You _used_ me.”

“We were using each other.”

He shakes his head, then bites his lip. “I never used you, Gwen. Not once.”

The admission startles her, but not because it’s so surprising to hear. She just didn’t expect him to say it out loud. Not after what happened on the beach.

She can see it in his eyes. The regret and anger. He _should’ve_ used her, it would’ve been much easier on him.

“Screw it.”

Before she can even ask him what that means, his hand is cupping the side of her cheek and he’s pressing his lips against hers hard. His tongue invades her mouth like he’s done before and he doesn’t let up. He takes from her until she needs to pull away so she can breathe. It only lasts a few seconds before he’s on her again, both hands moving up to cup her cheeks and hold her against him.

She lets him because it feels too damn good to be touched by him and if he’s angry and wants to use her like he thinks _she’s_ been doing all along, she’ll let him.

He pulls away, stretching her bottom lip with his teeth before he completely lets go. His hands are still on each side of her head and she can’t help but shiver all over. Her gaze holds his and she knows he can see the conflict pooling there.

“Blake?”

“My room tonight.” He says, pulling his hands away from her. “I don’t want to talk.”

She knows she'll be there to get lost in him one more time. She's created enough distance emotionally to go back to LA and resume normal life, but she's finding herself not ready yet to give up the physical comfort only Blake can bring her. So she decides to give herself one more night.

That's all this is.

Just one more night.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the comments on the last chapter. Less than two weeks between updates this time!

Blake cups her face between his hands, pushing her against his hotel room door with a thud. She whimpers against his mouth, the impact of her back slamming against it combined with his forceful kisses making it hard for her to stand.

He holds her steady, kissing and nipping at her mouth.

She’s not surprised to find out about this side of Blake. The slightly more unhinged, clearly less in control version.

She wants to talk about what happened, but he made his request clear earlier. He doesn’t want to talk. He just wants this. And _this_ is something Gwen thinks she can give him. Everything else is too much for her fragile heart and as much as she hoped she could give this story a different ending, it seems like this is all she’s capable of.

He pushes her towards the bed, giving her a firm shove when she’s close enough. She gasps at that, but doesn’t pull him off when he follows her down and moves himself in between her legs. She’s starting to realize she doesn’t want to talk either.

He kisses down her body, holding her hips firmly between his hands. When he holds her that close, she almost forgets about everything else going on.

“Do you have any second thoughts?”

His rough voice speaks from between her thighs, his hands working to get her jeans off. When he succeeds into sliding them down her legs, he pauses and stares up at her quietly.

She swallows roughly, surprising herself at how comfortable she feels being half-naked around this guy. She doesn’t even mind his intense gaze coming from below.

“ _No_.” She whispers.

He nods as if he anticipated that response and nips sharply at her inner thigh.

“This is gonna be the last time.”

He doesn’t give her anything else, no more elaboration and she doesn’t need it. She knows what he means and the meaning has her eyes fill as he takes off her panties.

They’re going home in two days and this will be the last time he’ll let himself enjoy the pleasure of her.

When they go home, this will be over. It will be one of those holiday love stories, that end when the summer does. She’ll go on about her days pretending like that’s how she wanted it all along and _he_ will find someone who’ll make him forget about the mess of a woman who lured him in for a few weeks.

She closes her eyes and sighs deeply, disguising it as a moan. The moment his hands have bared her completely to him and his mouth slides closer to where she wants him, she lets go off everything else and succumbs to him and the wild pleasure he brings alive inside her.

_One last time._

**

She wakes up in his arms, his soft breathes telling her he’s still asleep.

The sun is trying viciously to make its way through the thin white curtains and she groans when it hits her eyes directly.

Blake stirs at the soft sound she produced, his hand automatically tightening his hold on her. This is the second time she woke up in his arms and she’s mortified to realize she likes it even more than the last.

If she closes her eyes and tries really hard, she might make it feel like there’s no expiration date to this. She’s willing to live in a few moments of peaceful ignorance if that means she gets to enjoy this feeling without having reality intrude.

She might’ve succeeded if it wasn’t for her damn phone. The first few buzzing noises she ignores, unwilling to move or jeopardize the position she’s in. Blake’s arm is still tight around her, oblivious to the world as he’s continuing to sleep.

Her phone continues to buzz, nearly sliding across the nightstand. In her vaguely awake state, she first thinks she’s set an alarm. Her hand slams on top of the device once, treating it like an actual alarm clock before thinking better of it.

She sighs before turning on her side, losing the tight grip of Blake’s arm in the process. It’s insane how she feels like crying right away but she pushes that down. She reaches for her phone and is immediately on high alert when she makes out her manager’s name on the display screen.

Careful not to wake Blake, she hits accept and keeps her voice down.

“Irving.” She whispers. “Everything okay?”

Normally she’d be less skittish while picking up the phone, but her manager calling her _that_ many times in a row while he knows she’s on vacation can’t mean a lot of good.

“Have you seen the news outlets?”

She looks over at Blake who’s still sleeping before sitting upright against the headboard.

“No, why?” She continues to whisper, her chest filling with nervous energy.

“There are pictures of you and Blake everywhere. Two of you guys all over each other while walking out of _Elite_ and one of him holding you while you’re waiting for a cab.”

Her eyes start to burn as everything around her is beginning to spin. This can’t be happening. There’s no way the whole world is finding out about whatever it is they’ve been doing here, while she’s still trying to make sense of it herself.

Not to mention her kids. How will they take it when they come across pictures of their mom being held like _that_ by someone they only know as her colleague. She can barely breathe, let alone speak.

“Gwen, are you still there?” Her manager asks.

Her breath stutters out brokenly, a few tears running down her face.

“How bad is it?”

Irving sighs. “Pretty bad, Gwen. These pictures…. it’s going to be hard to convince anyone there’s nothing going on there.”

“But there’s not.” She says a bit louder than intended, causing Blake to stir next to her.

“It’s not my business to intrude into your personal life, but it could’ve been smart to give us a head’s up at least. We could’ve worked on a statement.”

She shakes her head.

“I don’t want any statements. Blake and I are just friends. He was just helping me into the cab after I had a bit too much to drink.”

The lie stumbles out of her quickly, desperate to salvage whatever she can. Blake is finally waking up, his brows lowered into a frown as he tries to make sense of what he’s waking up to.

“If that’s how you want to go public with this, I think it could work. It might not convince everyone, but it could at least quash the worst rumours.”

Blake has now sat up too, his eyes filled with worry and something else she can’t put her finger on. He’s obviously dying for her to hang up and fill him in on what’s happening, but she doesn’t even think she can get the words out right now.

“I didn’t see any paparazzi there.” She says softly, her head spinning. “We’re in Cancun for God’s sake, did they really follow us out here?”

“They’re not professional pictures. My best guess is that some locals or vacation-goers recognized the two of you and snuck a few pictures. They got shared and you know what happens when they hit the internet, it spreads like wildfire.”

Out of the corner of her eye she sees Blake’s attention being drawn to his own phone, notifications coming in for him too.

She sighs at the enormous mess they just created. “Thanks for letting me know, Irving. I gotta go, can I call you back when I get home?”

“Of course, we’ll take later. Enjoy the rest of your vacation, Gwen.”

It feels a little pointless to hear him say that, but she knows he only means well. She lets it go and tries to sound semi-alright before hanging up on him.

Her eyes immediately go to Blake, who’s looking at her with a dazed stare. She can tell he’s either seen the pictures or the messages of people telling him about them.

“We’re so fucked.” She whispers, her eyes glaring down at the white sheets around her.

“They’re not that bad. Like you said, we can just say we were drunk and needed each other for support or something like that.”

She scoffs before tapping onto the Safari app and looking them up for herself. She knows she probably shouldn’t, but she can’t bear the thought of the whole world seeing them except for her. She needs to know what the disruption is all about.

She finds the pictures with ease, every gossip site portraying them as the main story. Her gut churns when she studies each frame.

The first one is of Blake escorting her out of the nightclub, his hand low on her back. Though she looks fine, she can see a bit of the sadness in her eyes after he told her he didn’t want to talk.

The second one is of Gwen leaning into him to whisper in his ear. She doesn’t completely remember what she said but she knows it was something dirty. She tried hard to make it seem like having sex was all she wanted to do too.

The last one is of him holding her on the sidewalk, while they waited for a cab back to the hotel. She was wearing a short dress and got cold after waiting for a few minutes. He held her from behind while draping his jacket over her shoulders.

“Gwen, can you please talk to me?” Blake asks, drawing her attention away from the pictures on her screen.

“Oh, _now_ you want to talk?”

“You’re mad again.” He states.

“Of course I’m mad. Look at these pictures, Blake. Look at them.” She pushes her phone towards him, but he shakes his head without looking at it.

“I already saw them on mine.”

“You can’t tell me those aren’t bad. I know you _did_ say that, but we both know you lied.”

“I didn’t lie. Those pictures can mean more than one thing.”

“None of them good.”

He’s stuck looking at her for a few moments, breathing heavily.

“Are you really that embarrassed?”

She doesn’t want him to feel like she’s ashamed to be seen with him, but she also can’t express what she’s really feeling. She pushes the covers off her, scrambling to her feet in a hurry.

She looks around the room to find her clothes, scooping them up one by one.

“You’re just gonna leave?” He asks her, still not moving from the bed. “ _Classy_.”

She looks up in a frantic move, stepping into her underwear.

“You said you didn’t want to talk last night, you said this was the last time. Why do we have to talk about this, Blake? We’ll just go our different ways and deny any truth to the rumours swirling around. Can you do that?”

She pulls her dress over her head, adjusting it a little before searching for her shoes.

“I know what I said and I’m not asking you for anything either. I just thought that maybe we could end things a bit more… _civil_.”

“That train left the station when you told me you were done talking.”

He lets out a low chuckle, rubbing his chin.

“That really had an impact on you, didn’t it?”

She slips into her shoes, ignoring the discomfort.

“Screw you.”

“You dumped _me_ , Gwen. Out on the beach, you basically told me this didn’t mean anything to you. Don’t get it twisted on who hurt who here.”

She looks at him with glossy eyes, knowing that she needs to get out of here if she doesn’t want him to see her break.

Her hand is on the door handle when she shoots him one last glance.

“Then let’s end it here so no one will hurt anyone again.”

He doesn’t reply immediately and she doesn’t stick around to hear a rebuttal either. She pulls the door shut behind her, letting some more tears fall.

**

“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on here?” Adam asks, his gaze not giving him any breaks.

He feels the sweat form on the back of his neck, the heat from the airport not doing anything to relieve him of that either.

Their luggage has been checked in and they’re waiting for the private plane to take them back to LA. Gwen and Pharrell are waiting outside while he chose to the comfort of the slightly cooler, but not much better airport waiting area.

“Adam, please- “

“Come on, I know you man.” His friend is relentless, nearly bumping his shoulder. “I know that look in your eyes. I know something’s up.”

He spent the whole day yesterday confining himself to his hotel room, missing out on the final evening of drinking and laughing at the bar. He just wasn’t in the mood to socialize, especially not if Gwen was gonna be there too. The ride to the airport today was awkward enough, as all four coaches were stuck in a van together.

Blake finally allows himself to look at his friend, sighing deeply.

“Gwen and I….” He shakes his head. “Pictures leaked of us walking out of Elite together, two nights ago.”

Adam’s eyes widen. “What kind of pictures?”

“Just of us waiting on a cab to take us back to the hotel.” He waits a few beats, but Adam just keeps quiet. Blake sighs. “They’re not completely innocent. We’re…. _touching_.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah.” Blake scoffs. “Then yesterday morning she freaked out when she saw them, got upset and basically ran out of the room.”

“Wait, wait.” Adam interrupts, his hand on Blake’s shoulder. “She stayed over that night?”

Blake rubs a tired hand over his face, sighing

“She did. She’s been staying over a few times.”

Adam looks at him with a startled look on his face, but quickly makes way for something a bit more bearable.

“I knew you two were going on dates, getting to know each other…. I guess I kind of had my suspicions about whether or not you guys actually _went_ there…”

“We went there.” Blake says, tired of hiding this from his best friend. “Which proved to be the worst fucking decision.”

“Maybe cut her some slack.” Adam says carefully. “She has kids plus a divorce that’s not even finalized yet.”

“I’ve been trying, but what about me? She’s not the only one with things to lose here.”

“I know that.”

“ _She_ doesn’t.” Blake sighs. “A few days ago on the beach, she told me what we had wasn’t part of reality. Called us a summer fling or some shit like that.”

His friend winces. “Damn.”

“Yeah. She’s a great girl and I really like her, but I can’t do this with her. I’m too tired, too damaged.”

Adam nods sympathetically. “I get that, I really do.” He waits a few beats. “At least you tried.”

Though it doesn’t feel like a win, it’s all he’s gonna get. He’s beginning to figure out a response when a PA tells them they’re all set to board.

The sun is even hotter than when they first arrived and Blake’s already sweating profusely when he reaches the tarmac. He watches as Gwen checks her phone a few times, letting Adam and Pharrell get on before her.

When it’s his time to board, he can’t help but look back at her. Their stare is more intense than he can handle, yet he finds himself not breaking it. He knows he should walk up the tarmac, but he just can’t. Not yet.

She walks a bit closer, sliding the phone back in her pocket.

“Blake.”

“Gwen.”

They start at the same time but Blake motions for her to continue, staying silent.

“I’ve been thinking and I don’t want things to end like that either.” She says softly, finding it hard to look at him it seems, though she manages. “I did enjoy our time together here in a weird way.”

Her words aren’t perfect, but it’s more than he expected to get.

“You deserve to be happy, Gwen. I don’t know when, or with who, but I hope you’ll know when it’s happening and I hope you’ll let it.”

He watches her swallow.

“Same to you.”

He smiles faintly. “Thanks.”

It’s awkward and painful, but what staggers him the most is that it’s a real goodbye. Their might not be tears but he’s been around enough broken hearts to recognize theirs breaking right now.

“I’m glad we talked…” She says softly, her voice breaking. “I hated the way we left things. This vacation has meant too much to me for that.”

She doesn’t say _he_ meant too much to her for that, but he gets why she doesn’t and he’s still able to read between the lines.

He holds his hand out to her, helping her up the tarmac and into the plane. One last moment of physical touch before he doesn’t get to touch her again.

He inhales deeply and forces his voice to remain stable, fighting the inevitable crack. 

“This vacation _has_ been meaningful.” He shares with her last. “My time with you has been too. It’s been an honour.”


	16. Chapter 16

Gwen is nervous when she pulls up on set, grateful hair and make-up had taken hours but still not feeling quite ready to face all the coaches again.

One month of accumulating back into her ‘normal’ life hadn’t been enough to shake the experiences of Cancun from her heart.

She figured that once she’d be back to long hours of studio time and running after her kids, thinking about a certain cowboy she got close to on vacation, would be the last thing on her mind. Unfortunately, she’d found herself impossibly obsessing about the man and even regretting the conversation they had at the airport.

Somehow one simple goodbye did not do their experience justice.

She had secretly hoped Blake would feel the same, but he hadn’t contacted her in the month they’ve been back in LA, keeping his distance just like she thought she wanted all along.

It’s nerve-wrecking to say the least, walking back onto the familiar set and knowing she’ll be faced with him again. She secretly hopes she runs into the other coaches first, which ends up being a wish that’s granted to her when Adam catches up with her, looking at her excitedly.

“Ready?”

She smiles softly and nods.

“It’s gonna be great.” He tells her, his hyper-active state not allowing for her to get a word in first.

She really doesn’t want anything to be awkward and she’s trying hard to disguise her nerves over all of it.

“Have you talked to Blake since we got back?” She ends up asking, hoping the question isn’t too transparent.

Luckily Adam doesn’t press her on it, even if it was.

“He’s doing much better.” Adam smiles, making a prayer gesture with his hand. “I was worried he might take a while longer to dwell on things, but he’s been healthier and more positive overall.”

Gwen smiles, though a dark feeling rages through her body. She should want him to be happy and go on with his life, and she is, but she also thought that maybe it would be a bit more difficult for him to move on from her. She certainly hadn’t moved on from _him_ yet.

She swallows roughly. “I’m glad to hear that, Adam.”

He smiles. “I think you helped him quite a bit.”

Her brow raises before a soft chuckle escapes her.

“I doubt that.”

“He was a mess before that vacation.” Adam reminds her. “I don’t know how it’s possible, considering what happened, but I think it’s been kinda good for him?”

She doesn’t blame Adam for being confused and slightly hesitant to speak the words; it sounds too crazy for Gwen to believe too.

The hairs on the back of her neck stand up when she feels his presence in the room, his booming laughter introducing him before she lays eyes on him.

Adam looks over his shoulder as well, smiling when his friend walks closer.

He looks good, _rested_. She immediately notices he carries himself with more confidence than he did back on vacation. His blue eyes pierce hers when he catches up with his colleagues, but he doesn’t look at all affected in all the ways she is.

Adam excuses himself to make last minute phone call before they’re needed on the stage in ten minutes. It leaves her alone with Blake and she finds herself suddenly worried about how she looks for him.

She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear and tries not to break their gaze.

“Hi.”

Blake smiles at her friendly.

“Good to see you again.”

She doesn’t think he would lie to her about that, but there’s none of the desire he’s spoken to her with before palpable in his voice now.

She swallows. “How have you been?”

“Good. Much better.” He answers, giving her the same response he would give anyone else asking. “It’s gonna be a great season, you’ll love it.”

He’s being nothing but friendly and she’s still feeling her heart grow heavy on the spot. She doesn’t know if she expected him to be angry or even nervous when he’d see her again, but it seems like all he feels is indifference.

“I’ve been looking forward to it, I think I could use this kind of inspiration, especially now.” She forces on a smile, hoping her sincere words would pull something deeper from Blake as well.

He nods.

“I can’t wait to see what kind of team you put together.”

Professional is all she gets but she wants the opposite. She wants him to pull her aside and tell her he’s had a real hard time getting back to his life without her in it. She would even take anger at her decision to end things while they still could, over this friendly but superficial treatment.

“Thank you.” She says softly.

He touches her arm for a second but nearly long enough for it to be anything but collegial. He smiles warmly at her.

“See you out there, Gwen.”

All her silent hopes of a second chance trickle out of her as she watches him make his way to the stage and engaging in friendly conversation with the producer.

**

“That guy can win.” Pharrell tells her, squeezing her shoulder. “I can totally see him blossoming under your coaching, I’m so glad he picked you Gwen.”

She sometimes doesn’t understand why anyone would pick her, so Pharrell’s comments always provide her with a sense of relief.

“Thank you. I’m still so shocked, like _what_?"

“Don’t be shocked, you’re Gwen Stefani.”

“I know, but you’re like this perfect producer guy, I don’t understand why anyone would pick me over you.”

In the corner of her eye she can see Blake exiting the premises. She tries to keep her mind on the conversation at hand, but it’s hard when her brain starts playing back the entirety of the day.

Blake continued being friendly and happy with her during the whole taping, even gave her a few compliments when she was up against Adam. To anyone watching it would feel normal, because technically it _was_.

She had fought tears for hours though, because as much as she should be grateful for things still being normal, she just feels embarrassingly heartbroken by it.

“It’s not about that.” Pharrell says, unaware of her thoughts running wild. “They feel a connection to you cause you’ve always been real and honest. Most of these kids probably grew up idolizing you.”

She smiles awkwardly, not good at taking compliments.

“You’re sweet.” She says softly, smiling painfully. “I need to go though, talk later?”

They’ve been friends for so long, she knows he won’t take it personal. He hugs her briefly as they say their goodbyes and she hurries down the parking lot in her heels.

She hopes she’s not too late and the universe gives her this one thing, as Blake is still in the process of loading up the truck. Her heels on the asphalt give away her presence and Blake looks up, surprised to see her.

“Gwen.” He acknowledges her name, but she can't tell if he’s happy or feeling burdened to see her. “Everything okay?”

She knew she wanted to talk to him, but now she’s standing next to his car, she’s falling short on what to say.

“Yeah.” She whispers before shaking her head. “ _No_ , can we talk?”

He raises his brow. “What’s up?”

“Wasn’t this weird for you? Filming together all day, pretending like nothing ever happened between us?”

He looks at her with an unfamiliar look on his face.

“I didn’t think too much about it, to be honest.” He answers.

She knows she’s looking at him like he just told her he’s dying, but she can’t help it. It’s the worst thing he could’ve told her.

“Oh, that’s good.” She hears herself say. “You should have fun.”

There’s a short silence between them that feels forced and Blake rubs the back of his neck, awkwardly.

“Gwen, why are you _really_ here?” He asks, cutting straight to the chase.

Her heart is beating so fast she has a hard time catching her breath, explaining what she was feeling right now would be impossible, so she settles for something else.

“It was a little weird for me I guess.” She feels like a child admitting to have stolen a cookie as she looks up at Blake nervously. “I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t awkward.”

Blake shrugs.

“It wasn’t to me.”

“Okay.”

He sighs. “I’m sorry, I feel like you need something from me that I just can’t give you.”

Her eyes widen, panic settling in as she’s so easily uncovered.

“ _What_?” She whispers.

He smiles sadly.

“Take care of yourself Gwen.”

It’s the second time that day she’s had to watch him walk away from her. He lifts himself into his truck, closing the door with a thud. She doesn’t want to watch him driving away from her too, so she turns around briskly and heads for her trailer.

She’s not ready to go home alone just yet.

**

She’s dressed down into her jeans and tank top again, her television clothes hanging neatly in the back of her dressing room. She finished packing her bag to go home, sitting on the sofa to tie her shoes when a soft knock on the door follows.

She figured everyone would be gone by now since she stayed behind for more than an hour after tapings ended.

“One second.” She mumbles, tying up her sneakers and pushing herself to stand.

She’s tired and one glimpse into the mirror and she’s sighing deeply. She doesn’t even try to hide the exhaustion on her face anymore, her shoulders hanging slightly when she pulls down the doorknob.

She pulls open the trailer door to find Blake looking at her sheepishly. Her own eyes widen at his presence and she steps back to let him in automatically.

“Blake, what are you doing here? I thought you left.”

He steps inside, closing the door behind her softly.

“I did. I came back.” He offers her simply.

He leans his back against the wall, one hand rubbing over his mouth.

She shakes her head. “I don’t understand. Why did you come back?”

Her pulse begins to race again, the intensity of his stare making her nervous.

“I don’t think it’s fair to expect anything more from me.” He says once he’s dropped his hand from his mouth and chin.

She stares at him confused and pained, not expecting those words to come out of his mouth.

“I’m sorry.”

“I wouldn’t have left you.” He says, clearing his throat. “Back in Cancun, what we had there, I wouldn’t have stopped it if it weren’t for you. I was not the one who pulled the plug, _you_ did.”

She bites back tears as she nods.

“I know that.”

“So you can’t look at me now like I’m somehow breaking your heart for doing exactly what you asked from me.” He continues. “That’s not fair to me.”

“I’m sorry.” She whispers, voice breaking. “I didn’t know how hard this was gonna be for me, Blake. I tried really hard to make it work today, I did.”

“It _did_ work.”

She shakes her head.

“Not for me.” She whispers.

She’s mortified to realize she’s beginning to tear up, the familiar burn behind her eyes causing her to squeeze them shut.

Blake sighs. “What do you need for it to work then?”

She can’t possibly answer that question, because she’s about to make a plea to a man who is trying his hardest to move on from her and keep her at arm’s length.

She wipes a tear from her cheek, gazing at the floor.

“Just time.” She answers hoarsely, knowing it’s going to take much longer than one season of the Voice to get over the feelings Blake sparked inside her. “I’m sorry for pushing you away, I thought…. I thought it was the right thing to do because we were both broken. I didn’t want us to get hurt even more.”

Blake winces at that.

“How did that work out for you?”

“Not great.” She whispers, her breath stuttering out brokenly. “I _am_ hurt. And I know I’ve hurt you too.”

He takes a step closer, watching as she continues to wipe the remaining tears off her face. “It was never a summer fling to me. I don’t know what it was but it wasn’t that.”

“Do you….” She clears her throat, struggling to find the words. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

He walks even closer, until she’s backed up against the vanity behind her.

“Don’t ask me questions you won’t answer yourself.” He tells her.

She knows her actions up until this point have been cowardly and he’s not wrong for calling her out on that.

Her hand runs up his arm hesitantly, gripping his wrist. “I do have feelings for you Blake. I tried to get rid of them, I tried to ignore them, but they’re still here.”

His breathing grows heavier while looking down at her, his hands staying by his side.

“What are you gonna do when people start making up rumours again?” He asks. “The show is about to air in less than a few weeks, viewers have most likely seen the leaked pictures, they’re gonna over analyse everything we say or do.”

“I don’t know.” She whispers, letting go of his arm. “It would be scary and I’d need you to be there to talk to me about it but— “

She doesn’t get to finish her sentence before her entire field of vision is Blake. His mouth isn’t at all patient like it usually is and she can feel the weeks without contact pouring out of him now. The desperation and supressed feelings all coming to a boiling point.

One of her hands flies into his hair, gripping his curls tighter than she usually would. She tugs a little, enjoying the way he groans against her lips when she does.

His hands trail up her waist, lifting her shirt enough to move his hands up the flesh of her ribcage. It sends goosebumps down her spine and shakes through her entire body.

He pulls her closer into him, her lower body colliding with his.

“Don’t do this if you’re gonna walk away from me again.” He speaks against her lips before kissing them again. “Don’t give me another second of touching you if you’re gonna change your mind tomorrow.”

She shakes her head, sliding her arms around his neck before jumping to wrap her legs around him. His arms immediately slide across her back to catch her, his arousal filled eyes looking up at her.

She knows it’s still a fragile situation but Blake actually came back for her. She’s not going to mess that up twice.

“Sofa.” She whispers, nibbling at his lower lip. His eyes shimmer with the intention of her words and she can feel herself writhing in his arms impatiently. “Now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I'm gonna end this story with the next chapter, because I don't want to drag it out for too long. I never intended to have it go on past the vacation and I don't think I should force it. They will get the ending they deserve though! Thank you so much to everyone who decided to leave a comment or show love to it in any way.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I know I've kept you guys waiting a long time between updates and I'm sorry...this shit is hard. But I'm happy to finally present the last chapter, to hopefully close this story in the way it deserves to be closed. I brainstormed about this ending a lot, but I think this is how it was always meant to conclude. Thank you for still reading and being interested (and thanks for the incredible patience of everyone who didn't give up on this story yet).

She sinks her toes in the sand deeper, unsure of how long she’s been out here. The ocean waves wash over her feet, taking the sand back with it as it retreats. She watches the motion while a calmness takes over her.

The sun isn’t as brutal as it is on most days, but it’s hot enough to wear nothing but her shorts, tanktop and flowery kimono.

She brushes a strand of hair behind her ear, looking up as the sounds of a seagull takes her most recent thoughts away. The ocean breeze, the smell of the beach and the sand between her toes are enough to bring her mind to a place of zen.

It always has had this effect on her.

Her eyes widen when two strong hands squeeze her shoulders gently, a soft kiss being pressed onto the top of her head next.

She closes her eyes and smiles.

“Blake.”

He sits down next to her in the sand, his tall frame looking a bit uncomfortable as he forbids himself from completely stretching his legs.

“It’s getting quite late.” He says softly, nudging her. “I also think the people in the cafeteria recognized me.”

She chuckles. “So that’s why you’re out here on the beach with me, isn’t it cowboy?”

“And because I missed you of course.”

She hums sarcastically, leaning her shoulder into his. “Couldn’t you just look at this view for hours?” She says softly, looking out at the ocean.

Blake keeps his eyes on her insistently. “Yeah, I could.”

She bites her lip.

“The blinds air tomorrow.”

“They do.” He says, nodding. “Are you nervous about it?”

She squints her eyes, thinking the question over.

“I _thought_ I would be…” She says, biting on the edge of her nail before looking up at him. “I feel strangely calm about it though. We’ve already dealt with the rumours about us and I’ve already lost you once, so I’m feeling like the worst has already passed.”

Blake’s arm reaches around her, pressing her closer into his side.

“You never lost me, Gwen.” He murmurs softly, the water once again washing over her feet and ankles, causing her to pull them back. “I was always here, even when I wasn’t, just waiting for you to crash into me again.”

She looks up at him, her thumb touching his lower lip and then his chin, the soft stubble there tickling her fingertips.

“Thank you for coming back for me.”

“Look at us…” He chuckles, rubbing her arm slowly. “We always end up back on the beach.”

“I fell in love with you next to the ocean.” She admits.

He smirks. “Oh, I’ll never forget that moment we shared in the ocean at night.”

She chuckles, but shakes her head.

“Me neither, but that’s not the moment I was talking about.”

He cocks his head, surprised. “What moment _are_ you talking about?”

“You asked me to come with you on a midnight walk on the beach, and at the end you walked me back to my room.”

She hears his slight gasp.

“Gwen, that was…”

“…. On the second day.” She bites her lip, feeling slightly embarrassed to be admitting this. “By the time we had our moment in the ocean, I was already head over heels for you.”

He tips her head up, cupping her cheek before planting a firm kiss on her lips. It doesn’t last long and neither try to prolong it, but it still feels like one of the most memorable kisses they’ve shared.

She exhales against his lips; any time Blake decides to push his mouth against hers transmitting her to another dimension.

“You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you know that?”

His accent has gotten thicker just with that statement and she feels her eyes well up at the sound of it.

“I feel the same way.” She whispers.

The three words lay on the tip of his tongue and she’s come to recognize the look on his face right before he speaks the words to her.

“I love you.”

She nuzzles her head onto his shoulder, the sea and Blake’s firm hand on her knee having a tight grip on her.

“I love you too.”

**

The Voice has been airing its blinds and knock-outs, with multiple news outlets emphasizing the amazing chemistry between the coaches. It has been named and noticed how Blake and Gwen seem to get along _exceptionally_ , with the news of their divorces still being fresh in everyone’s minds. Gwen hasn’t spent too much time reading and looking at the articles being written and instead tries to enjoy the new and fresh relationship she and Blake have built.

The live shows are a whole different beast to tackle though and even with Blake’s constant reassuring and comforting, it’s been hard to sleep and think about anything else. The children are spending another night at their father’s, which allows for Blake to come over again. He came bearing gifts—a box of chocolates and an expensive bottle of wine now decorating her kitchen table. It’s the little thoughtful gestures he does that have her the most mind blown. She tries not to feel too guilty about her mind being elsewhere, but she winces when Blake brings attention to it a few minutes later.

He’s holding her in his arms on the couch, the box of chocolates now no longer unopened, her greedy fingers picking at another piece of sweetness.

“Are you gonna tell me what’s going on in that head of yours?” He asks playfully, his hand rubbing her shoulder as she tries to unwrap the piece of candy.

“Nothing.” She says before popping the bonbon in her mouth. “These are _really_ good.”

She nips at her fingertip, savouring the sticky sweetness on her skin.

Blake chuckles. “I’m glad you’re enjoying them, honey.” He stays quiet for a few beats, giving her a chance to come clean and erupt into one of her fire-ramblings.

She doesn’t though.

“Come on.” He nudges her softly, stealing a piece of chocolate from her. “I brought you gifts, the least you can do is talk to me, right?”

She groans. “Not fair.”

His thumb caresses her chin, gently brushing the corner of her mouth. His eyes widen when she briefly nibbles at his fingertip and flicks his nail with her tongue. She can tell he’s trying to catch his breath by the time she pulls back, the vulnerable and open gaze in his eyes still the same.

“If you’d rather make out, that’s totally okay with me too…” He starts softly, his hand brushing past her hair to softly squeeze the back of her neck. “But I really don’t think it’s good to keep whatever it is inside. You can talk to me.”

Gwen sighs softly, knowing he’s right.

“I’m nervous for the lives.”

She expected some loud sigh to reach her ears, a roll of his eyes, or the pull away from his body. Instead she’s met with a silence that doesn’t feel anything like what she thought it would. The quiet doesn’t yell at her, it doesn’t make her feel like the worst is yet to come, it doesn’t feel _violent_.

Blake’s arm wraps around her tighter, tugging her against him.

“Why?” He asks softly.

“Everyone knows about us now.”

“The show isn’t about us.”

Gwen smiles at the answer, as it’s so incredibly Blake.

“No, but they’ll _make_ it about us.” Gwen says, leaning her head on his shoulder. “I’ve just really enjoyed being with you like this and I’m not ready for the whole world to have an opinion about it yet.”

Blake hums. “I get that. But we’ve already been through one of those moments and we survived.”

Gwen frowns, looking up at him.

“What are you talking about?”

“The vacation.” He replies. “We thought we needed to say goodbye to what _this_ is before we went home, because we didn’t think it’d be able to survive. But we came home, we’re no longer spending our time at a five-star resort, but look at us now.”

She bites her lip and clears her throat, tears welling in her eyes.

“You’re right.”

Blake smirks. “Aren’t I always?”

Tired of ignoring the electric chemistry between them any longer, she pushes her hand against the back of his head until his lips softly brush hers. What starts out soft and sweet, quickly turns into hot and heavy, and a low sound escapes her throat when his tongue starts playing with hers.

It was always like this with him. The fireworks behind her eyelids that would remind her of every feeling being pulled to the surface with his lips. They slotted together perfectly, like two puzzle pieces finally connecting. She’s unsure of who eventually deepens it, but she has no room for complaints when she finds herself being pushed against the couch cushions by his weight. He’s always careful with her, _gentle_ , but he knows she likes to be loved passionately and surely. He delivers on both fronts.

She traces her hands though his hair and opens her legs for him to get in between.

She’s willing to bet Blake’s unaware of how wildly gorgeous he is when he does this. Her hands have untamed his curls even more than usual and his lips are swollen and slightly red from her lipstick. His breathing is erratic, but he appears to still be in great control; guiding their movements into perfectly aligned and sexy grinds.

He stops kissing her for a moment, just brushing against her lips as he tries to catch his breath. Her hand cups his cheek just to let him know she wants him close, preventing him from pulling away too much.

He smiles. “You’re so ridiculously gorgeous right now.”

She looks at him with a softness that she only feels for him and her kids, the stirrings low in her gut reminding her of how impatient she truly is though.

One of her legs hooks around his waist, opening herself up to him suggestively. He takes no further prompting at all.

**

“Isn’t this like _so_ cool?” She shows another twitter comment hyping up her contestant to Pharrell, who just nods and smiles at her proudly.

“I mean, of course, what do you expect? He’s awesome.”

“Oh I know.” She says confidently, locking her phone screen. “He’s _amazing_. I just still don’t understand how I got so lucky.”

The first few live shows have been a success and the nerves are lessening each night. Now they’re getting replaced by the genuine excitement that made her sign on for a second season. It’s the love and respect she has for the music and the artist, and the nurturing aspect of the show.

“Don’t do that to yourself.” Pharrell tells her softly, always encouraging her in one way or another. “He picked you because you’re someone he could learn a ton from. Not just musically but as a person as well.”

Gwen finds herself getting emotional at the compliment and settles for giving him a hug before Blake and Adam join them backstage.

“I see the party has been going on without us.” Adam teases, leaning against Blake as if it’s his birth right. “Don’t worry, Blake and I have been strengthening our _bromance_ while you two were busy shutting us out.”

Blake rolls his eyes playfully.

“See what I have to deal with?”

Gwen bites back a laugh, a ridiculous flare of jealousy filling her at watching Adam being so close to him. She wishes she could do the same, hang all over him without feeling like she’s being unprofessional. Everyone knows about them now, but that doesn’t mean she feels free in being their love-struck selves at work yet.

Adam catches her intense stare and chuckles.

“You wanna kiss him right now, don’t you?”

Gwen nearly chokes on the air around her, a red flush creeping up on her cheeks.

“W-what? No, I was just…” She looks at Blake for help, but he seems just as flustered as she is, his large smile nearly splitting his cheeks.

“Can I ask just one thing?” Adam continues with a playful grin, asking the question before Gwen has even responded. “What was it about him that just made you go ‘damn I gotta have myself a piece of that’?”

Blake’s booming laugh accompanies Adam’s question and though she knows it’s all meant to be playful, she can’t help but feel overly protective of him.

“We both know how great of a person he is.” Gwen says quickly, swallowing back the nerves she still feels whenever she talks about them out loud. “He’s literally the best person I’ve ever met and like, the hottest cowboy on the planet. I stood _no_ chance.”

Adam’s features soften as they lose some of the playfulness. While she expected him to have a field day with the last part of her statement, he actually goes for the more genuine approach.

His hand squeezes Blake’s shoulder. “He is pretty great, isn’t he? I’m glad you two found each other.”

Gwen had a real fun time seeing Blake and Adam’s relationship up close; the genuine and loyal friendship between the two musicians something to be envious of. She knew coming in for another season, it was going to be hard trying to infiltrate that friendship, despite both men being incredibly inclusive and sweet to all the other coaches that have come in after them. Gwen fought harder for Adam’s approval this time around though; knowing his opinion of her was an important one after getting so close to Blake. It had been heart-warming to find out that his loyalty and protectiveness had not just been for Blake, it had extended to her too.

“Me too.” Pharrell chimes in. “Meant to be, if you ask me.”

“Lot to be grateful for, that’s for sure.” Blake drawls in that maddening southern accent that makes it even harder for her to play it cool. “You guys mind giving me and Gwen the room for a sec?”

Gwen admires Blake’s forwardness in moments like these. Where she struggles to even talk about their relationship out loud to people, Blake’s not afraid at all to let his colleagues know when he needs to be alone with her. Never has she ever felt this equally wanted and desired before and it does something powerful to her heart each time she’s subjected to it.

Adam chuckles.

“I’m surprised you two even made it through the show. Just remember our trailers aren’t soundproof.”

Blake flips him off with a laugh.

“You’re just jealous.”

Gwen ducks her gaze to the floor, feeling both bashful and shy as the banter between the guys continues for a while longer. She gasps in surprise when Blake’s hands land on her hips and pull her closer into him.

His mouth lowers to her ear as they basically share the same heartbeat from being so closely pressed against each other.

“They’re just messing around.” He drawls against the shell of her ear, sending goosebumps down her spine. “I hope you don’t mind me sending them away for a bit.”

She shakes her head, looking up at him.

“Not at all.”

He brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “That was a good show, wasn’t it?”

She nods, yet the desire to talk about the show has completely left her now she’s standing in such close proximity of him again. _Finally_.

“Gwen?” He asks after a while and she realizes she never answered him.

Her hands slide up his back, pressing against the rough fabric of his jacket. She can’t help but stare at him as they stand in the large studio room, underneath the studio light that makes him look more radiant than ever.

“I love you so much.” She whispers, squeezing herself against him in a tight hug. “We can say that freely now, right? _I love you_.”

She hears the soft intake of breath at her words, his arms tightening around her while his nose nuzzles against her neck.

“I love you too.”

The smell of his aftershave infiltrates her nostrils and she’s reminded of how badly she wants to feel him consume her completely. She pulls away after a few seconds, giggling when his hand grabs her arm gently to stop her. “Where do you think you’re going?”

His teasing drawl only serves to shatter the last of her control.

“Your trailer.” She winks suggestively, wiggling her arm loose from his grasp. “Adam said something about it not being soundproof. I think we should test that out.”

**

She’s sad to have another season end. It’s not like it is for Blake, the end of a season meaning the inevitable start of another. She’s gonna miss the big red chair and the inspiration that hits her every season she’s on. One thing she’s _not_ gonna miss though, is the constant media and press surrounding her.

She watches Blake lower himself down onto one of the rocks looking out over the ocean and she chuckles to herself at the slightly awkward position it leaves him in. He’s not like her, he didn’t grow up with the beach and doesn’t feel the need to spend a lot of time there. Gwen is different; the beach brings her peace and since she and Blake fell in love right next to the ocean, it feels good to bring him here again when another chapter of theirs is closing.

“Are you mad I dragged you out here again?” She mumbles softly, somehow managing to squeeze herself onto the same rock, sitting in between his spread legs.

His arms circle around her stomach as his head lowers to her shoulder.

“You can drag me anywhere, you know that.”

Neither one of them had won the finale of the show with one of their contestants, but it was clear they were walking away with the biggest reward of all.

His arms are confident and secure around her, a great indication of what his love feels like on any given day. It’s always there and she doesn’t have to spread herself ridiculously thin to feel even a shimmer of it. Her heart finally doesn’t feel like it’s balancing on a tight rope whenever they part ways and she can breathe freely when he doesn’t return her text within the next hour.

“How much time do you have left in LA?” She whispers, knowing the end of another season also means the end of Blake staying in LA full time. She knows he’s excited to go back, but she can’t help but feel sad about the upcoming distance that will exist between them when he goes back to Oklahoma for a few weeks.

“I prolonged my stay here with a few days.” He tells her casually, nuzzling her neck. “I’ll be here for the rest of the week; I’ll leave next Wednesday.”

Gwen bites her lip, closing her eyes with Blake’s lips against her shoulder blades and the sun against her skin.

“What made you stay here longer?” She asks, fully aware of the answer and they both know it.

Blake chuckles. “You really wanna hear me say it, huh?”

Gwen hums playfully.

“Yes, cowboy.”

“I’m staying a while longer because I have a ridiculously sweet, ridiculously _sexy_ girlfriend here in LA who I can’t stand to leave behind.”

Gwen giggles, humming at his response.

“Maybe you shouldn’t leave her behind then.”

He groans against her neck, his arms tightening around her. “Baby, I know I should stay, but I’ve already made the arrangements and I’ve gotta take care of my place there too, otherwise— “

“Shhhh.” She hushes him, using her hand to tip his face up, locking their gazes. “You’re not hearing me, cowboy. I’m not saying you should stay here…”

Blake frowns at her before his eyes widen, the sudden realization taking over his features shooting bolts of electricity through her.

“Do you want to come with me?”

They’re totally silent for a while, the only sounds they can hear are from the birds above them and the waves crashing beneath them.

“Is that okay with you?”

There’s a hint of hesitation there because she doesn’t want to intrude on his alone-time, or make him feel suffocated with her constant clinginess. It’s remnants from the trauma that’s been instilled in her for over two decades and it’s still hard to shake, even with Blake.

He shakes his head, kissing her softly before sighing against her lips. “My God baby, you don’t know how much I want that.”

She smiles widely. “Yeah? Are you sure?”

“Is this why you took me here?” He asks, caressing the side of her cheek with his hand. “To tell me you wanted to go to Oklahoma with me?”

Gwen shakes her head, bashfully.

“I didn’t plan this, actually.”

Waves continue to crash onto the shore with a soft hiss, peeling away at the bronze sand beneath them. Blake’s hands on her feel exceptionally light today as the wind caresses the parts of her face he can’t reach.

“Maybe it’s this setting then.” He whispers, pulling her close and wrapping her in his arms almost protectively so. “The beach, the waves…it seems to have had some sort of hand in what we’ve become.”

Gwen closes her eyes once more, inhaling the fresh air, letting her love for him crash into her the same way the waves do the shore beneath her.


End file.
